


Trashland

by theinvisiblefangirl



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, They're 21, chapter 1 is a lot of scene setting but it gets better after that, its a romance drama, lots of banter, stuck in the small town world for a summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:29:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 55,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinvisiblefangirl/pseuds/theinvisiblefangirl
Summary: ' “Come on,” he said, placing a guiding hand on her elbow that did nothing to improve her brain functionality. “Let me show you the one decent place in this trashland.” 'Rose Cooper, 21 year old history graduate, lands herself a job in the archives of Stars Hollow, a small town in Connecticut, America. It's a long way from home for the British girl.Jess Mariano is just passing through, distributing copies of his book. He's got a summer to kill before one of the guys moves out of the apartment above Truncheon in Philadelphia, enabling him to move in and take up the job there. After meeting his former flame's new boyfriend, Jess decides that maybe it's finally time he stopped being Team Rory.They're both out of place and not really looking for anything, until anything is standing right in front of them.Set in the background of series 6 but I tweaked some of the details. Also its the summer. Vaguely set in the 2010s so I could reference the 2013 film Good Vibrations because Jess Mariano would absolutely adore that film. If you haven't seen it, watch it.
Relationships: Jess Mariano/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 31





	1. Guilty As Assumed

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise now for my irrepressible use of contractions. I can't and willn't be stopped. :))

“Hi Rose.” It was a familiar voice that sounded down the long distance line.

“Hi Tom.” Her boyfriend. Or sort of boyfriend. Rose wasn’t exactly certain what they were now. They'd been seeing each other for a couple of months at the end of term. They'd both been busy, swamped with dissertations and job applications and final exams. But they'd managed to squeeze a little time together in, rushed lunch breaks in the drafty library cafe, a couple of drinks in the pub when their brains couldn’t take a second longer. It had been nice – she’d appreciated having someone there to force official breaks. Especially as her friends were just as stressed out as she was and all struggling to find the time to meet at all.

But then graduation had come round, all of a sudden, and caught them off guard. A sunny day in the city centre, high heels clacking on the paving stones, gowns flapping in the irrepressible Scottish breeze that persistently blew through Edinburgh. And that was it, their time together over. Their university careers over. She was a graduate now – 21 years old, with a shiny new first in History.

Within a week Rose had packed up her flat and gone home for a visit. Two weeks later and here she was, June first, a thousand miles across the Atlantic Ocean in an alien country that spoke the same language as her.

Things had been rushed at the end. Tom had jetted off almost immediately to his family in Wales, and a week before she left for the states he was knee-deep in a relocation to London. They'd barely found the time to talk – let alone talk about what they were going to do.

“How are you?” He sounded tense, through the tinny echo of the mobile phone Rose held to her ear. She suddenly realised that it had been a week since they last called, too caught up in the flights and the boxes and the new towns. It felt strange – only a couple of weeks before and they'd spoken every day, on the phone if not in person.

“I’m good. Settling in. How are you? How's London?”

“Its good. Busy. I think I’m finally getting to grips with the office system. And the city is great – its exciting really, so full of people and events. I've met a group of lads through the office and we've been going out a lot. I’m really having a great time.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Sounds like it’s just what you wanted.”

“It is, it is. How's – what's the town called?”

“Stars Hollow.”

“That’s the one. Stars Hollow. How's Stars Hollow?”

Rose sighed, sat down on the nearest chair that didn’t have a box sitting on it and cast her eyes out to the streets beyond the window. “It’s... well it’s small. And very American.”

“Well you knew that going in.”

“I know – I know. But things are always different in person. Not that it’s bad at all. Just... not London.”

“Better luck next time I guess? And remember it is just a stepping stone. You work there for a year, it looks good on your cv, helps you get into the big museums out there.”

“Yeah. Yeah of course – I’m sure it’s just a little homesickness setting in. I’ve only been here 3 days, barely finished the induction at the town archives. I’m sure once I’ve settled in I'll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will. Now, uh, Rose. I actually had a reason for calling you tonight.”

“Oh – tonight?”

“What?”

“Its still the afternoon over here.”

“Right. Whatever.”

“Sorry.” She bit her lip. No cutting through that tense tone.

“Its just – look we never really got a chance to talk about this before we left. I'm just not sure how we intend to make this work.”

“You mean... us?”

“Yeah. It’s just, I'm really busy, between the office and the London life you know. And trying to work in the long distance calls and the time differences and everything – it’s a bit tricky.”

“Right.”

“And I mean – when do we even think we’re going to next see each other? And I know you were talking about staying over there longer term maybe and I just -" He sighs. “I just don’t see how we have a future together.”

“...Right. Yeah.” Rose said, in an even tone. She'd known, when she found the half moment to think of him, that this was probably what was coming. There had never been any question of either of them changing their plans for the other.

“Rose?”

“Yeah. Yeah I get you. I – this isn’t really ideal.”

“Yeah... I'm sorry, I really am. I did like you, you know. I liked what we had together. It was a good time, dissertations aside.”

“Yeah, it was.”

“But... I guess this is it for us. I... over.”

“Over. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. You’re... you’re right. This would be hard to keep going.”

“Yeah. I really am sorry. But... I'm also not the one who moved an ocean away.” There it was, his sharp sense of humour creeping through. Sometimes it had been funny, watching him tear through their social circles. But now Rose could see why some of her friends had objected. Always blameless, always tactless.

“Yeah. Well. I'm - I'm sorry too.” Now she said it, she wasn’t exactly sure that she was really. Not very sorry. She regretted that he had to call it off like this, over the phone. And that she'd been dumb enough to idly hope that they could tick on a little longer than a week – maybe make it through her first month or so. Give her a little anchor to home to call up when she was homesick and needed to hear a familiar voice.

But he was right. It wasn’t going to work. She had an idea of what he would be like, now he was freed from the weight of dissertations and finals that had kept him more grounded. He'd work hard and party hard, out late enough to answer her long distance calls but too drunk to listen. And it was, she guessed, only a matter of time before the far away girlfriend started to get in the way of the smart, driven women he surrounded himself with in London.

“Right. Well, uh, I've got to go now – work function, drinks at this place in Soho. I’m... thank you for taking this so well.”

“Oh, uh that’s okay. Have... a nice night, I guess. I'll, uh, well-" she chuckled. “I won’t be talking to you soon.”

“I... guess not. No. Well, goodbye Rose.”

“Goodbye Tom.”

He hung up, and the sudden silence in the tiny apartment hit her with a jolt. She looked about her, at the empty walls and the half opened boxes strewn about her, as if with a fresh pair of eyes. She felt like the world had shifted beneath her feet slightly, and left her standing somewhere slightly different than she had been when she picked up her phone.

A pang of homesickness rocketed through her chest with a dull, deep ache. She knew objectively that in the grand scheme of things, she wouldn’t miss Tom. There had been a wealth of differences between them, a hundred disagreements waiting to happen. The entire relationship had been founded on an ephemeral footing. They had both known it wouldn’t last, that they were both going to go out and spread their wings just as soon as they could.

Rose knew that had held her back from investing emotionally in the relationship. She had tried – so she told herself. She'd looked at him so many times, and tried to count all the things she liked, and asked herself over and over why her heart couldn’t connect the dots to make her feel a little more deeply. In the end, she only let it go on so long because she knew that life would get in the way and end it for them. 

Because, if she was being honest, she had just left it to the machinations of life to sort them out. On top of all the stress of graduation, and moving out, bidding her best friends farewell, and shipping herself off to a foreign country to begin the business of living adult life, the last thing Rose had wanted to deal with was the will-they won't-they of a dead-end relationship with a guy she wasn’t even crazy about.

Now here she was. Standing alone in a half-unpacked apartment in a strange town in a strange country. Truly and completely alone now, with one less familiar voice at the other end of the phone to lean on. A positive, the logical side of her tried to argue. One less thing tying her to home, making it easier for her to settle in here. Maybe now she could meet someone nice in Stars Hollow... if they hadn’t all married at 18 like her American friends had warned small town people were wont to do.

But the dull ache persisted in clawing at her chest, and Rose finally conceded that wallowing in it for a little while might not be the end of the world.

Unfortunately for Rose’s overwhelming desire to spend hours wallowing the sad films and icecream, Tom had not chosen the best night to call. She had a welcoming party being thrown in her honour by two of the local women – Lorelai Gilmore and Sookie St. Something or other. They had cornered her in the archives the day before, excitedly run a string of a hundred words past her that ended with ‘welcoming party, 7pm, Lorelai’s house’.

And so there she found herself, facing the frosted glass of the front door at 6.55pm. Always, without fail, inconveniently early to everything. She'd dried her cheeks and swiped on a weak smile along with her mascara, but her chest still ached. She wanted, more than anything, deep in her gut, to turn around and hide away in her apartment. But she knew this was good – a good plan. She'd get to meet some more people. Maybe make a few friends.

So instead of running, she rang the door bell, and found herself hurriedly drawn into a warm living room full of food and people. A drink was pressed into her hand – a margarita, which tasted of a hundred drunken girls nights in with friends who were now thousands of miles away.

Before she had the time to reminisce too hard, she was being steered around the room and introduced to a whirl of a hundred faces, names in loud American voices echoing around her head. By the time Lorelai finally said “I think that’s everyone!” Rose was three margaritas under, and pretty certain she'd met the whole town twice.

She wound up standing in the kitchen, talking to an excitable Korean girl the same age as her. Lane seemed really cool, really friendly – though Rose would willingly admit she was seriously intimidated by Lane's music knowledge.

“It’s so cool – so brave of you to just move to an entirely new country on your own!” Lane was saying.

“Well, it’s not entirely new to me – I was actually born in LA so I'm technically a citizen already.”

“No way!”

“Yeah.” Rose smiled. “My dad was working out there for a few years. He does computer tech stuff.”

Lorelai was swooping past as Rose said that. “Computer tech?! Great! Maybe we can get you to help us out with the system at the Inn -"

“Oh no!” Rose laughed. “My brother got the monopoly on the tech genes. I'm nearly useless with the damn things.”

“You have a brother?” Lorelai asked.

“Yeah! He's uh, older than me. 10 years older actually. Engaged too.”

“Wait so how long were you in America as a kid? You don’t sound a bit like you grew up here!” Lane asked.

“That’s because I didn’t. We left when I was about a year old. I grew up in the UK and my parents are British and my brother too. I’m British through and through really – only legally American.”

“Oh Rose!” Lorelai grabbed Rose by the shoulders and turned her around. “Here’s someone you have to meet! Luke! Luke!” She yelled at a plaid clad man just entering the kitchen. “He owns the diner on the corner – best coffee in town.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Rose smiled, shyly.

“This is Rose Cooper, the British girl working with Betty in the archives.” Lorelai introduced her yet again, as if her accent hadn’t immediately given her away.

“Jess is in town for a couple of weeks – I dragged him along, I hope you don’t mind.” Luke said to Lorelai in a low voice, gesturing to a young guy standing behind him.

Rose’s breath caught in her throat as the young man in question turned to face them. He was good looking – of that there was no doubt. But the dreamy dark curls sat atop a sullen expression that was enough to scare even the most determined off. His hands were pressed deep into the pockets of his jeans. He stood somehow slightly isolated from the swirling party around them, evidently uncomfortable in the house, around the people. Rose knew in another time, had they met at a house party a thousand miles across the sea, she’d have downed the drink in her hand and gone to flirt with him. But this wasn’t then.

“Hi Jess.” A new note of tension had entered Lorelai's voice. “Jess is Luke's nephew. Jess, this is Rose. She’s new in town.”

“Hi.” Jess nodded briefly in Rose's direction. A communicative one, she thought.

“What are you doing in Stars Hollow, Jess?” Lorelai asked.

“Visiting bookstores.”

“He just had a short novel published and he’s trying to get places to stock it.” The pride was evident in Luke’s voice when he spoke.

Jess just shrugged. “It’s no big deal. Can I?” He pointed in the direction of the beers next to the fridge.

“Go ahead.” Lorelai replied, as Jess sidled off away from them.

Lorelai quickly drifted off to talk to Luke, snippets of ‘that’s great, he really did do something’s drifting back over their shoulders. Rose turned around to find Lane had moved on to another conversation in the next room. She suddenly felt lost, in a house full of people who knew each other and not her.

The room was spinning slightly around her. How many margaritas had she had? Three – four? Sookie and Lorelai just kept filling her glass. Her head felt heavy with the alcohol, and her stomach started to feel distinctly queasy.

Rose slipped her half-drunk glass onto the kitchen counter. A sudden swell in noise announced the imminent arrival of Sookie and Lorelai into the kitchen. Loath to return to the social carousel, Rose quickly stepped through the ajar back door and into the cool night air of the porch.

Stood beside the railings, Rose rested her head on the pillar and closed her eyes to try and slow the spinning. Dim voices drifted out from the kitchen.

“Doesn’t she remind you of Rory? She reminds me of Rory.” It sounded like Sookie talking.

“Aside from being taller and ginger?” A man – Luke perhaps.

“No, no-" Rose could just imagine Sookie's hand flap of dismissal. “It’s more of an auburn. And I meant in character. When Rory was a teenager – remember! And she was so shy and sweet.”

“And distinctly not British.”

“Well she reminds me of Rory!”

Rose stopped listening as she tried to swallow down a wave of nausea. How the hell did she manage to drink so much? Normally she had a pretty good handle on her limits. And that bloody phone call earlier – Rose had perhaps knocked the margaritas back a little faster in a futile effort to shake off the sinking feeling in her chest...

Her head was still spinning and her stomach started to spin with it. Another wave of nausea rose up, and up, and up and

Out. Rose leant over the porch railings as the last few hours of chips and drinks exited her body and landed on Lorelai's lawn.

"Now that is quite the first impression to make in a small town".

It was the sullen nephew, Jess, leaning against the wall behind her.

She groaned. “Fuck. I was really hoping no one saw that.”

“Caught red-handed.”

Rose kept her head clear over the railings and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. “You don’t have to tell them it was me".

"Okay." There’s a smile of amusement in his voice. Of all the people she had to humiliate herself in front of, it would be him. Her luck today was on quite the downward roll.

"Thank you. Seriously, thank you. And – I promise I don’t do this often. Second time in my life, I swear. Sookie kept refilling my glass – I – too easily done…”

“Do you need me to walk you home?” Rose turned to look at him in surprise at the sincere tone of his offer.

“Uh, no thanks. I’m gonna stay a bit – sober up. Besides, if I left... like right now, you know, it would make me look super uh... what’s the word... Guilty! That’s the – that’s the word. Guilty.” She attempted to nod wisely, but her heavy head objected. She rested it back against the pillar again, standing upright as her stomach started to settle.

“Ahh, good thinking Sherlock.” He laughed. “I’ll see you around.”

She watched him slope off across the lawn and into the darkness beyond the street lamps. Once her stomach felt steady enough, Rose stepped back into the kitchen and re-joined the party with a weak smile plastered on her face and a glass of water clutched in her hand.

The next afternoon, head pounding with one monster of a hangover, Rose made her way into Luke’s diner. She had nearly finished her unpacking but couldn’t for the life of her find her French press. And a hangover that bad needed an instant shot of real coffee if she was to make any headway with the last of her boxes.

Tucked in a corner of the diner, Rose hid behind her well-worn copy of Jane Eyre and tried not to let the background noise grate on her nerves.

“I can't believe it. I know you’re 21 now but come on Jess. You've got to learn to handle your drink.” Luke was admonishing his nephew as they moved around the diner, delivering plates of food and refilling coffees. Rose slowly put two and two together as she saw the back of Lorelai's coat disappear through the door.

When Jess paused at her table a couple of minutes later to refill her mug, Rose put down her book.

"Not telling them it was me didn’t mean tell them it was you."

He raised his eyebrows at her and shrugged. “I didn’t.”

“Then…?” She looked at him baffled.

“They assumed.”

“Ah… Well thank you anyway?”

He shot her an amused smirk as he moved on to the next table. “No problem.”

He's interesting, she thought, as she watched him weave between the tables and duck his uncle’s lecture. In an impulsive moment of curiosity on her way home, Rose stopped in at the bookshop and picked up a copy of the thin volume with ‘Jess Mariano' printed on the cover.


	2. Everybody British Listens To The Clash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Jess get talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I stole the dialogue for the scene in Rory's bedroom from the show. All rights and credits to them.

“We've already sold a copy of your book.”

Jess looked up to see Andrew, the bookstore owner, stacking the shelves above the corner he had tucked himself into.

“You have?”

“Yeah. The new British girl came past and picked one up the other day – oh, what’s her name again...”

“Rose?”

“Rose Cooper. Yes, that’s it. She bought your first copy.”

“Huh.” Jess said, turning back to the book open before him.

They were sitting in Rory’s room, upstairs in her grandmother’s house. A garish, headache-inducing room of the softest pastel pink, like the too-sweet icing on a birthday cake. Jess hadn’t been sure that going to see her was a good idea – hadn’t been sure of anything, except wanting her to see it, see the book, believe that he had done it. As if her seeing it would finally seal the deal, confirm the fact that he had done it, he had made something – something decent. So he snuck over, late at night, hid outside the gates until she’d caught him and he’d had to hesitantly step in, mind still not made up on whether the idea was good or not.

The Rory who sat before him wasn’t the girl he’d known when they were seventeen, nor even the girl he’d thrown his heart at when they were nineteen. She still had the same bright blue eyes, the same way of moving, the same way of running her mouth in a fast tangle of words when she got nervous. She’d cut a fringe in since he last saw her, hair sitting down over her shoulders in perfectly tousled curls. And she was done up, dressed up, a neat little pink jacket that looked like it had stepped out of her grandmother’s closet and cost more than Jess wanted to think about. She didn’t look as out of place there as the Rory he had known – Doc Martens under her jeans and The Clash playing in her bedroom. This Rory had grown up, settled into the world she met at Yale, where it rained money, and rich boys and girls ran wild on their parents’ credit cards and played adult like it was just a game. This Rory had… dropped out too. Jess couldn’t see the bright fire of passion that used to burn in her eyes, no matter how hard he looked. Christian Amanpour, and overseas reporting, and acing every test that came her way with more hours of studying than he’d even known was in a day – all gone, somewhere, the girl before him looking lost inside her luxury.

“Jess, you've got such a great brain.” Rory was saying, sat before him on the edge of her bed, eyes shining with pride. “I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it.”

“I know you did.” Jess gave her a small smile.

There it was again. He was sure she didn’t mean it to be patronising. But it always had been. Rory had always had such a clear idea of the ‘right path' for him, if only he’d shut up and sit down and followed it. High school, college, follow the rules just like her. Truth be told, Jess didn’t think there were any paths for him. Life was but a blind blunder through chaos until you showed up somewhere, and you just had to hope that somewhere was good.

“What about a sequel? Are you writing a sequel?”

“You should read it before you get too jazzed about it, okay?”

“Shh!” Rory hushed Jess and sat up alert, listening. “Sorry. I thought I heard footsteps. I think we're okay.”

Jess raised an eyebrow. “I'm gonna be around for a couple of weeks. Can we talk again? Preferably above a whisper.”

“Yeah. I'd like that.” Rory replied. She’d like that? She’d like that. “How about sometime next week?”

“Monday at eight okay?”

“Yep.”

The sudden noise of stones rapping against Rory’s window startled them both. Rory leapt up and ran to look out. Jess twisted in his seat to follow her.

“Logan.” She whispered, waving to a figure down below them, who promptly disappeared into the house. A second later there was a soft knock on the bedroom door and a blond head poked its way in.

“Hey Ace. Am I interrupting something?”

Jess hated him already.

“No. Hey. When did you get back?”

“Couple hours ago.”

“Oh, I...I thought you were getting back tomorrow.”

“I thought I'd surprise you, Ace.”

“Well, I'm glad you did 'cause you get to meet my old friend, Jess. This is Logan, my boyfriend. Logan, this is Jess. He's in from out of town. Wow. That sounded so grown-up. We're at the age now where we say things like "in from out of town" and "old friend", 'cause when you're young, all your friends are new, and you have to get old to have old friends.”

Logan extended his hand to Jess and he shook it. The guy – the boyfriend – oozed money, and that sickly slick charm the rich boys always had. Not someone Jess would ever have figured Rory would go for.

“How you doing?” Logan asked, staring at him pointedly. Jess could tell he was threatened by the presence of an ‘old friend’ in his girlfriend’s room.

“Okay.” Jess nodded. He turned back to Rory. “It's kind of late. I should go.”

“It is kind of late.” She nodded vaguely. Jess moved towards the door, slipping past Logan.

“It was nice to meet you Jess.” Logan said, staring at him hard.

“Uh, yeah. You too.” Jess’s hand was on the doorhandle.

“Oh, hey. The book.” Rory suddenly said behind him, holding out the slim volume.

“Oh, it's yours.”

Jess paused, walking across the silent driveway, and turned to look back up at the single lit window. Rory and Logan were silhouetted against it, bodies close as they talked. Jess watched as Logan kissed her before turning away.

A new boyfriend. Jess shook his head. It was what it was, him, Rory. That past would always be there. But she’d said no, all those years ago. The hopes he hadn’t let rise when she’d snuck him into her room were well and truly dashed now. She’d said no, and she’d meant it and she still meant it.

Perhaps, Jess reasoned, it was time he really made an effort to move on.

On her way home from work the following Monday, Rose stopped in at the diner again. She was still adjusting to the silent little apartment, and the gnawing knot of homesick loneliness that had settled at the base of her stomach. A quiet corner in the bustling diner seemed the best place to hide away and try to stave off the inevitable tears for a little longer. Besides, Lorelai was right, their coffee was good.

She tucked herself back into the corner table she had occupied at the weekend, and hid once more behind her novel. As much as she thought being around people would be good for her, she didn’t have the energy required to actively socialise beyond the occasional thank you when Luke refilled her mug.

“You bought my book.” Rose jumped as a voice from across the table cut through the images of a distant Victorian England.

“What?” She spluttered as she looked up to see Jess standing before her table.

“I stopped past the bookshop earlier and Andrew mentioned that you bought my book.” His tone sounded almost accusatory, as if she’d committed a sin in doing so.

“I... did, yeah?” Rose cursed the blush that was creeping onto her cheeks.

Jess smiled. “Thanks. So what did you think of it?” He asked, pulling out the chair opposite her and sitting down.

Rose closed her novel and put it down on the table beside her mug. “It’s good – really good.”

“Yeah?” He smirked as if he didn’t believe her.

“I thought so. It’s... really unusual. Different.”

“Jeez, any way you can say that without making it sound bad?”

Rose blushed again. “Unique? It’s not like anything else I’ve ever read.”

“And you've read everything there is to read?”

“No...?” Rose frowned. The conversation had caught her off guard, and Jess’s persistent defensive tone, half joking half challenging, kept her from finding her feet.

“I'm teasing you Cooper. Chill.”

She smiled weakly.

“So what brings you to the joyous basketcase we call Stars Hollow?”

Rose quirked an eyebrow at his description. “I'm guessing you missed Lorelai's introductory spiel the other night. I'm working in the town archives.”

“And what exactly do the town archives need you to do?”

“Organisation mostly. And a little bit of research into some of the old families who founded it.”

“Huh.”

Rose smiled nervously and shrugged. “It’s just for a year really, and then I’m probably going to move on to something else somewhere.”

Jess nodded. “It sounds dusty.”

Rose laughed. “In places it is. You’re just passing through while you distribute your book, right?”

“Yeah. I'm going around begging independent bookstores to put it in stock. Got it in a few.”

“Including here.” Rose smiled.

Jess nodded. “Including here.”

“That’s really cool though – that you wrote a whole book, and got it published.”

“There's no money in it. It’s just a small press. They only printed like 500 of them. Believe me, I'm not quitting my day job.”

Rose smiled at his self-deprecating tone. “I still think it’s cool.”

Jess shrugged, a small smile creeping onto his face. “I'm actually going to start working at that press soon. Five smelly guys in a cramped room in Philly putting out about three books a month. But it's fun.”

“It sounds fun!” Rose’s eyes lit up with the dreams of big cities and literary artistic circles she and her friends used to talk of back in their dingy Edinburgh flats.

Jess laughed at her enthusiasm. “You wish you were in a bigger city, huh?”

Rose chuckled sheepishly. “A little. Maybe after here.”

“Maybe.”

“So how long are you in Stars Hollow?” Rose asked. Her hopes were not up. Definitely not up. So what if she and Jess appeared to be getting on well.

“A couple of weeks. My plans are pretty vague right now. I'm moving in with a couple of the guys from the press in Philly but the space isn’t available until the end of the summer. I might travel around a bit first.”

Rose nodded. The hopes that had not been up were definitely now down. “Where do you live now?” She asked.

“New York.”

Rose nodded. “Another big city.”

“Another big city.”

“Are you from Stars Hollow originally?” She kicked herself internally. The poor guy was going to think this was an interrogation.

“God, no.” Jess widened his eyes in mock-horror. “NYC born and raised. I just spent a year here when I was a teenager.”

“Ah, okay.” Rose bit her tongue to refrain from prying any further.

“Where are you from originally?”

“Britain. Well, okay so technically America – I was born in LA. But my parents are both British and we moved back when I was one.”

“That would explain the accent.”

“Yeah, it would.”

“Whereabouts in Britain did you grow up?”

“Oh uh, all over really. We moved about a lot when we were kids – York, London, a brief stint in Wales. Belfast for a year or so. We mostly lived in the countryside really, just near the cities for my Dad’s job. Settled down back outside Oxford when I hit secondary school so I could do all my exams in one place.”

“JESS!” Luke’s yell cut across the diner, abruptly ending their conversation.

“Looks like I’m needed back at work. See you around Cooper.” Jess shot over his shoulder as he got up and wove his way through the tables to the counter.

Rose quickly fell into the habit of dropping in at the diner every day on her way home from work. It was a good place to meet people, she theorised. And it was working, right? She'd wound up on the fringes of conversations Lorelai had drawn her into at least twice in as many days.

But if Rose was being completely honest, the main motivation behind her sudden uptick in coffee consumption was the chance of conversation with a certain literary waiter. Rose would not admit, a week after being dumped, that she already fancied a new guy. She may, however, concede that said new guy was remarkably interesting. The sarcastic sense of humour she had glimpsed in their first few interactions evidently ran through everything he did. It was not long before the novel Rose religiously brought with her was barely being read, increasingly acting as a prop behind which she could hide her amused chuckles at the latest too-sarcastic comment Jess had flung at an unsuspecting customer.

“Hey.” Jess appeared at her table, coffee jug in hand.

“Hi.” Rose grinned, a blush inconveniently rising on her cheeks. “Nice shirt.” She nodded towards The Clash logo emblazoned on his chest.

“You listen to The Clash?”

“Uh yeah? I'm British?”

Jess put the jug down on the table and turned to call over his shoulder in the direction of the counter. “I'm taking my break now!” he yelled, before pulling out a seat and sitting down with her.

“Do you always work here when you’re in town?” Rose asked.

“Depends how long I’m in town for.” Jess shrugged. “Now, The Clash.”

“Yes.” Rose smiled.

“You’re telling me everyone in Britain listens to them?” Jess asked with a raised eyebrow.

Rose laughed. “Of course. It’s a key part of the citizenship test. They make you recite all the lyrics to London Calling.”

Jess chuckled. “Okay Cooper. Hit me with it.”

“Here?”

“Yeah. Go on. Prove your Britishness.”

“I should think my accent was proof enough. The number of people who keep telling me its ‘adorable' is ridiculous.”

“Nice swerve but you’re not getting off that easy.”

“Fine. Only the British people worth knowing listen to The Clash.”

They laughed.

“So you’re an old school punk fan?” Rose asked.

“Old school, new school.” Jess shrugged. “As long as its angry.”

“Good criteria.”

“You?”

“I'm more of a New Wave – New Romantics girl. But I’ll always have a big soft spot for Green Day.”

“You don’t want to be an American Idiot?”

Rose laughed. “No. I'm more of a fan of their early stuff – Dookie, Insomniac, Warning.”

Jess nodded sagely. “Solid choices.”

“Teenage Rose had only the best taste.”

“Apparently so.” He laughed.

When Jess came tripping down the backstairs and out into the diner the next day, he saw Lane, apron on and coffee jug in hand, standing at the corner table deep in conversation with Rose. By the look on their faces, and the wide eyes Rose was staring at her with, the conversation was a serious one.

Rose looked up at the sound of Jess’s voice when he shot a comment over to Luke. She couldn’t help the blush that rose to her cheeks when she caught his dark eyes on her, and the small smile that slipped onto his face when he caught her looking at him.

“And he just left – without any warning or anything.” Lane was saying. A crash course in Jess’s history. Word spread fast in the town and apparently talking to the former troublemaker warranted an education in why not to.

“Just upped and left?” Rose asked.

“Yeah. I think he went to visit his dad out in California or something. Rory didn’t hear from him for about a year – no word, nothing – until he showed up one winter to pick up his car. He was here for a couple of days, during which he confronted her and told her he loved her. Totally out of the blue.”

“Wow. After nothing for a year?”

“Yeah.” Lane’s eyes widened with emphasis.

“I… He must have been really hung up on her.” Rose bit her lip. It felt wrong having his dirty laundry washed before her, but Lane wasn’t to be stopped.

“I guess. He just upped and left again though. Not a word for another six months until he came into town for his mom’s wedding. Then he went to see Rory at Yale and asked her to run away with him.”

Rose raised her eyebrows. “Wow!”

“She said no – of course. And then… that was it until he came back into town last week.”

Lane glanced over her shoulder and Rose followed her gaze to see Jess moving around the edge of the counter and heading in their direction.

“Anyway – I really need to get back to work, but you know now. I don’t want him hurting you too.” Lane said, picking up the coffee jug that she’d rested on the table.

“I – wow. Okay. I – uh – I’ll try to avoid getting hurt.” Rose shot Lane a weak smile as she moved away across the room.

Jess stopped in front of her a minute later. “What was that all about? Those hushed whispers sounded pretty covert.”

Rose shrugged. “Apparently you’re a regular Ren McCormack.”

Jess raised his eyebrow. “Footloose?!”

“Well... from what I hear, city boy acting out in a small town...”

Jess pulled a face. “Yeah well I’m no gymnast.”

“Yeah? How are those dancing skills Kevin?”

Jess shot her a dirty look. “I'll never show you.”

The next day, as Rose came in and sat down at what was fast becoming her usual corner table, Jess appeared from the back stairs again, coat on and bag in hand. Catching sight of her, he called across the diner with a smirk. “Nobody puts baby in the corner!”

“Patrick Swayze tonight?” Rose laughed. “You really must be a twinkle toes beneath those boots.”

Jess rolled his eyes as he walked past. “Watch out for those spaghetti arms Cooper.”

Rose laughed and shook her head. She watched as Jess headed out the door and walked off down the street towards his car. She couldn’t wipe the grin from her cheeks, nor quell the !!! feeling in her chest.

On Saturday Rose decided to stop in for lunch at the diner. It was proving to be an empty day. The last of her boxes had been unpacked, and she'd already taken advantage of the bright sunshine and walked the whole of the town centre. She found her usual table free and ordered a vegetable burger from Luke, swallowing down the disappointment that inadvertently rose up when Jess did not appear.

Rose was staring idly out of the window watching passersby on the street when Jess came tumbling out of the backstairs behind the counter, jacket on and bag in hand. He smiled to find her sitting in the same place as always, and immediately came and sat down with her.

“A new time today, I see.”

Rose grinned. “Gotta break those bad habits before I form them.”

Jess chuckled before catching sight of her plate. “What is that?!”

“A… veggie burger?”

“Why is it so green?”

“Those would be vegetables?” Rose replied, eyebrow raised.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why the vegetables?” Jess barely tore his eyes away from the plate, mild disgust plastered across his features. Rose could only laugh.

“Because I’m a vegetarian?”

He shook his head. “Ugh. Just when I was beginning to like you.”

“You like me?” Rose grinned.

“Not anymore.”

“Well… that’s a shame?” Rose was still laughing, though her inside had done at least one cartwheel.

“Why are you vegetarian?”

She shrugged. “It’s better for the planet. And I didn’t like meat that much.”

“Ahh so you’re more of a tree hugger than a save all things cute and furry?”

Rose chuckled. “I’m allergic to most things cute and furry.”

“What a sad, sad existence that must be.” Jess said, entirely insincerely. “No pets growing up?”

“Nope.”

“And just so we’re clear – there’s no persuading you on the vegetarian issue?”

Rose laughed. “No. My brother can confirm, no amount of ‘mmm how delicious’ as you eat steak in front of me will make me change my mind.”

“Really?!”

“I never liked steak in the first place.”

Jess shook his head. “I never thought I’d meet someone who ate healthier than Luke.”

“What can I say, he’s a sensible guy.” 

“You’re mad. Both of you.”

Rose laughs at him.

“Tell me that when we live longer than you.”

Jess shrugged as he got up from the table. “Life is overrated.”

Rose raised her eyebrows. “How nihilistic of you.”

“See you later Rose.” Jess shot back in response, a laugh still in his eyes, as the bell above the diner door rang as he opened it.


	3. Free Food And Free Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Disaster Dinner From Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, the dialogue from the scenes in the show, is the dialogue from the show. All rights and credits to them.

When Monday evening came around, Rose was once again at her usual table in the diner after work, with an idle Jess standing in front of her.

“This really is getting to be a bad habit Cooper.” Jess joked. “You are entirely too predictable.”

Rose shrugged. “Or reliable. Dependable even.”

“Unspontaneous. Boring.”

“If I’m so boring then why do you spend half your time at my table?”

“It’s not my fault the rest of the town is even worse.” Jess shot back, sitting down across from her. “Do you have plans tonight?”

“Tonight? Not really.”

“Come to dinner with me.”

Rose’s stomach did a somersault. Dinner? Did Jess – could Jess possibly mean as a date?

“I'm meeting some friends in Hartford tonight. You could come too.”

Not a date. Not a date. Okay. Okay good. Rose had enough on her plate with settling into a new town and shaking off the last echoes of her now-ex Tom, without trying to date someone new.

“Some friends?” Rose asked, uneasy at the unexpected request.

“Rory Gilmore. And her new boyfriend – some Yale guy.”

Rose watched Jess's face closely, but he kept his expression very steady.

“What do you say Cooper?”

Rose bit her lip. “Isn’t Rory your ex-girlfriend?”

Something faint flickered across Jess’s face.

“Sorry.” She quickly added. “The town gossips fast.”

“No kidding. Do you want to come?”

“I’m not sure Jess – I’ve never met Rory. And I do have work tomorrow, its probably better if I don’t stay out late, you know...”

“Now you are being boring.”

Rose lifted a hand to her mouth absent-mindedly and bit her thumb nail.

“I'm not sure... won't it be a bit awkward?”

Jess just shrugged. “Why would it be awkward?”

“Well you two go way back, and I don’t really know them...” Rose wondered if Jess had asked her along to act as some kind of stand-in pseudo girlfriend.

In truth, if she had asked him, Jess wouldn’t have been able to give her a straight forward answer why. It was a spontaneous, spur of the moment thing. He'd been fairly sure she’d be free. And he found himself wanting someone else to be there too, on his team. Back up against the Yale boyfriend.

“Come on Rose, it’s just one night - you'd be doing me a favour. And I’ll pay. You'll get a free dinner out of it.”

“Fine.” She conceded, defeated. “I guess I can’t turn down a free dinner.”

Jess grinned. “Great. I'll drive.”

They met the other couple in a little downtown bar called ‘The Rich Man's Shoe'. Rose had raised an eyebrow at the name and Jess chuckled quietly beside her. Both were too on edge to crack any of their usual jokes.

Rose recognised Rory, sat at a little table in the middle of the bar, immediately. She had her mothers blue eyes and dark hair. Beside her was a thickset blond guy, who immediately oozed the slick charm of the well-moneyed privately-educated boys Rose had run into one too many times at university.

Pleasantries aside, they sat down with them. There was a thread of tension running between them all, like a crackling electric charge. Jess and Rory kept looking at each other, years of former friendship passing between their eyes and cutting Rose and Logan, the new boyfriend, out. Rose just bit her lip, the nerves running through her tangling with the taste of house red in her glass and tying her tongue in knots. She felt distinctly out of place.

Logan, on the other hand, ran his mouth off, the smooth veneer of charm thinly masking how threatened he appeared to feel at Jess’s presence.

“I live pretty close. I'd have had you over to check it out, but it's a bit of a mess.” Logan was saying.

“And you don't serve food, so we would have been starving at your place.” Rory added. Her charm was sweeter, more genuine.

“I've got appetizers, half-full bag of chips. Just check the expiration date before you dive in.”

Rose smiled weakly at his joke.

“I'm good with this place.” Jess said simply.

“Little pointer. Don't come on folk night.” Logan nodded in the direction of a small stage at the back of the room.

“Yeah, I'm not a big fan of folk music.” Jess replied.

“Something we have in common.”

“Great.” Jess said, reluctantly, as Rory made an apologetic face of discomfort at him.

“Where's a waitress?” Logan said, clicking his fingers. “Yo, yo. Right here. Uh, another McKellen's neat, and, Jess, another brew?”

“I'm still working on this one.” Jess replied, picking up his half full glass.

“Another one, just in case.” Logan insisted.

Rory piped up, opening the menu in front of her. “Well, we should probably order. It's a big menu, so if you need guidance...”

Rose sent her shy smile. “Thanks.”

“The burgers are good here.” Rory added.

“Get one of those fancy ones, too, and it's on me, so don't let the price stop you.” Logan said, looking straight at Jess like a challenge.

“I'll pay for ours.” Jess replied, glancing at Rose before turning back to his menu.

“Good man." Logan nodded. “So, how long have you two known each other?”

Rose looked up at him.

“A little while.” Jess replied.

“Its only been a couple of weeks – I just moved to Stars Hollow.” Rose rushed the words out of her mouth, almost tripping on them.

Logan nodded. “And you and my girlfriend?” He asked Jess.

“A while.” Jess replied shortly.

“You date?”

“Yes. We used to date.” Rory stepped in.

“Ah! No hemming. No hawing. Good course of action. So, were you two high school sweethearts? Rock around the clock, two straws in the milkshake?”

“Logan.” Rory admonished her boyfriend with a note of warning in her tone.

“Hey, did we cheers? I don't think we cheered. That's bad luck. Let's cheers.” Logan raised his glass, the slimy veneer of charm still slick across his features.

“I think we did already, twice.” Jess said, keeping his tone even, though the tension was evident.

“Well, let's do it again. Cheers.” They touched their glasses with a clink.

“So what brings you to Stars Hollow Rose?” Rory asked, sweetly.

“Oh uh, I’m working in the town archives. It’s just for a year – a starter job kinda thing.”

“Oh wow, you’ve graduated already?!” Rory smiled in amazement.

“Yeah – the British school system is a little different to over here I think.”

“What did you major in?”

“History – at Edinburgh University.”

“Good school.” Logan cuts in, abruptly. “So, what do you do, Jess?”

“Oh, this and that.”

“Describe the "this". Describe the "that".”

“He writes.” Rory said, with a small smile of pride.

“You write? Impressive. What do you write?” Logan continued to poke at Jess as if to provoke him.

“Nothing important.” Jess shrugged.

“He wrote a book.” Rory said, looking at Jess.

“Oh, you penned the great American novel, Jess?” Logan asked.

“Wasn't quite that ambitious.”

“So, what are we talking here? Short novel? Kafka length or longer? Dos Passos, Tolstoy? Or longer? Robert Musil? Proust? I'm not throwing you with these names, am I?” Logan fired them off.

“You seem very obsessed with length.” Jess quipped.

Rose interjected with a raised eyebrow, affront at Logan’s pinpricking of Jess rising up in her chest. "You do know that you don't need a college education to access a library right?”

“Of course.” Logan shot back, a little surprised at her sudden participation.

“I really would of thought that someone with your superior education would know of a better way to establish his dominance than a basic name drop." The words were out of her mouth with a sharper edge than anticipated before Rose could stop herself.

"If it works don't fix it." Logan smirked at her.

Rory stepped in, attempting to break the growing tension. “It's a short novel.”

“Any good?” Logan asked her.

“I haven't read it yet.” Rory replied.

“Yet? Well, at least you'll have one reader.” Logan turned back to Jess. “That's something.”

“It’s good.” Rose said firmly, eyes daring Logan to make another comment. Jess sent her a weak smile, and a look that said ‘drop it’.

“Two readers!” Logan chuckled.

“Yeah.” Jess shrugged.

“You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of "he said, she said"-'s, and get it published.” Logan shot out. Rose almost choked on the drink she was trying to prevent herself from speaking with. “You got a copy on you?”

“No.”

“You should send me a copy.”

“Sure.” Jess finally snapped. “And where do I send it? The blond dick at Yale?”

“Jess.” Rory said, a defensive tone in her voice.

“Let’s go,” Jess said to Rose, as he grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and stood to leave.

“Whoa, whoa. We're just trying to keep it friendly here, buddy.” Logan stood up in Jess’s path, a hand out to stop him.

“Get out of my way.” Jess pushed past him. Rose shot Rory a weak smile of apology and followed after him.

“It was nice to meet you Rose.” Logan said, a veneer of fake charm plastered across his face.

“Likewise.” Rose dripped sarcasm as she did not even force a smile.

Rory moved to follow them outside.

“Forget him, Rory.”

“Don't follow me.” She snapped at her boyfriend.

Rory caught up with them in the beer garden outside.

“Jess, wait.” She called, and he stopped and turned back to look at her. “Jess, I'm sorry.”

“I’ll meet you at the car.” Rose said simply, leaving the former partners to their conversation.

“We shouldn't have done this.” Jess said, looking at Rory.

“He's just in a bad way lately.” There she was, trying to cover for her boyfriend, just like she used to cover for Dean when they were teenagers.

“He's a jerk.” Jess shot back.

“He was. In there, definitely. I'm so sorry.”

“He better not come out here.” Jess was angry. Angry that… that he’d bothered coming. Angry that Rory was with such an asshole. Angry at a hundred and one things in life for not quite ever working out as hoped.

“Please, Jess.” Rory looked at him with those big blue eyes. “He had a lot to drink. He's tired from travelling. This isn't him. I swear.”

“What the hell is going on?” Jess stared at her.

“I told you. He's tired, and his family's bugging him right now.”

“No, no. I mean with you. What's going on with you?” Where was the Rory he had known?

Rory stared at him, eyes wide. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. I know you better than anyone. This isn't you.”

I know you, I know you, he wanted to yell. But watching her, in there, with that boyfriend, he wasn’t so sure that he did anymore.

“I don't know.” Rory looked lost, confused, a façade suddenly dropping.

“What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place, being in the DAR, no Yale...why did you drop out of Yale?!”

“It's complicated.” She was squirming.

“It's not! It's not complicated.”

“You don't know.”

“This isn't you.” This couldn’t be her, Jess thought. “This, you going out with this jerk, with the Porsche. We made fun of guys like this.”

“You caught him on a bad night.” Rory said, defending Logan again.

“This isn't about him. Okay, screw him. What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?”

Her blue eyes began to water. “I don't know. I don't know.”

And there it was. They'd always known each other inside and out. Like the pattern of freckles on the back of your hand, like part of yourself. But time stands in everyone’s way. Looking at her now, with her neatly curled hair and her expensive clothes and her rich boyfriend, Jess found it harder to see the Rory he'd known. She was just lost right, somewhere inside the girl that stood before him? Jess looked at her, watched her squirm beneath his gaze. Maybe she wasn’t. Maybe Rory Gilmore had grown up and moved on.

“Hey, uh... may-may-maybe we'll catch up at a better time.” Jess turned to leave, the anger dissipating. “Happy birthday, by the way. Wasn't that a couple weeks ago, your birthday?”

When Jess reappeared from the bar, he found Rose leaning against the side of his car. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes focused on a scuff on the toe of her shoe. He jogged across the road to her, and unlocked the car.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” She said shortly, opening the passenger door and climbing in.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Jess started the car.

“I’m sorry about that – about dragging you along to this. We shouldn’t have come.” Jess finally said, as he pulled the car out onto the road.

“Its… okay.” She says simply in response. “You weren’t to know.”

“I read that guy the second I saw him. We should have begged off.”

Rose shrugged uneasily. “At least we got a couple of free drinks off him?”

Jess chuckled. “I guess so.”

Rose sighed, her eyes on the road. “I thought I’d met the last of that type when I graduated.”

“Your university had them too?”

“I’d guess everyone did.”

“Boy am I glad I skipped the whole college thing.”

Rose chuckled. “Ah, they’re not all bad. I mean, Logan was a bit of a prick but he must have some redeeming qualities for Rory to like him.”

“Rory could see the good in a mass murderer.” Jess muttered.

Rose laughed. “Well I dated a guy like that, so I can tell you they’re not quite mass murderers.”

“You dated a guy like that?!” Disbelief echoed in Jess's voice as he flicked his eyes over to her.

Rose shrugged, still looking out the window. “Desperate times called for desperate measures.”

“Jeez, what happened between you?”

“Not much.” The tension from the bar is still evident in her voice, and the tightness between her shoulders. “We dated for a month or so at the end of Uni, distraction from the deadlines more than anything. He dumped me over the phone a couple of days after I got here – the night of that party at Lorelai’s actually.”

“Ah, that would explain your performance on the porch.”

Rose winced at the memory. “Not my finest moment.”

Jess parked his car across the street from the diner and they both got out. He looked at her for a moment, the streetlamps catching threads of fiery red in her hair. Maybe tonight didn’t have to be a total write off…

“You coming in?” He asked, nodding his head in the direction of the dark and empty room.

“I don't know Jess, I should probably just head home.” Rose buried her hands in her pockets and looked back down at the scuff on her toe. Enough was enough for one night.

“Come on. Luke will have stashed leftovers somewhere. I did promise you a free dinner.”

Rose sighed. “Alright.”

They pulled chairs down from one of the tables in the middle of the room. Jess disappeared for a few moments and came back with arms full of diner leftovers boxed in worn Tupperware.

“I think there’s something veggie in one of these...” He said, dumping them on their table.

Rose smiled and began sifting through them before finding something that looked edible and sitting down with a fork in hand.

After a few minutes of companionate silence, Rose restarted the conversation.

“Did you always want to be a writer?”

Jess thought for a moment. “No. I didn’t really know what I was gonna do when I was younger. I mean, I flunked high school. I wasn’t really on any path of success for a while.”

“Wow.” Rose looked at him curiously. “You flunked high school?”

“Yeah.” Jess chuckled at her surprise. “I didn’t really do the whole institutional authority thing.”

Rose smiled. “One of my friends was like that. I mean, she made it through high school and Uni and all – but I could always tell she was happier just holed up in the library reading whatever she felt like.”

“Yeah,” Jess smiled. “That sounds about right. I bet you were a real teacher’s pet.”

“You got me there.” Rose laughed. “Bluestocking through and through. A real rule follower.”

“Was it always going to be history?”

“Yeah... yeah. History was always the subject I loved the most. Not the politics side of it – but the human. Historical gossip really.”

They laughed.

“So you had it all planned out, huh? School, College, starter job...”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that. I’ve never been super career-focused though. I just kinda did what you were supposed to, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“In some ways it’s always been kinda...” She paused, her sentence trailing off. “You’re gonna laugh at me, cause it’s really dumb-"

“I won't.” Jess interrupted firmly.

“You will. It is dumb. But I’ve always kinda felt like... you know how some people have callings? Be those religious or whatever, that one thing they’re on this earth to do.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. I just – I always felt like mine was to fall in love. It is dumb, right? Like I love history, I love all the other things I do, the hobbies and all my friends and everything. But sometimes it all feels like... like background details. Like I’m just killing time. And one day I’m going to fall in love with someone, seriously, deeply, madly in love, and it’s going to be like the missing puzzle piece in my life. Then everything else is just going to make sense. And I won’t feel so, so directionless, you know?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“No. No I don’t think so. I've tried – multiple times – but it’s never really... connected. The people I came closest to didn’t reciprocate – couldn’t reciprocate -"

“Couldn’t?”

“Straight girls, gay guys. Oh-" she chuckles sheepishly. “I'm bi, by the way.”

“I guessed.” Jess chuckles too.

“But yeah, um, the people I have dated it just never worked with. They were all nice, you know -"

“Apart from the last one.”

“Ah, even he was okay. I just... never seemed to like them quite enough. We got on well, had a good time, but it just never... got any deeper than that. And none of them lasted more than a couple of months anyway... never quite long enough to grow into anything. Life always got in the way somehow.”

Jess smiled ruefully. “It does that even when you are in love.”

Rose tilted her head and looked at him for a moment. “Were you in love with Rory?”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. I – we understood each other, better than anyone. But... we were young. I had a lot going on back then. It didn’t work out.”

“That’s life I guess.” She said softly. “Never quite straight forward.”

“Nope.”

“No matter how much we wish it would be.”

“I don’t know.” Jess shrugged. “I don’t think mine ever was.”

“Do you mind me asking what happened?” Rose asked hesitantly. “I got bits and pieces from town gossip but...”

Jess pulled a face and looked away out the window. “What do you want to know? Liz – my mom – was pretty unreliable. My dad left as soon as I popped out. I got into some trouble and I ended up getting shipped to Luke when I was seventeen. He kicked me out a year later, I spent some time in LA with my dad and then... I was on my own.”

Rose nodded but remained quiet.

Jess looked back at her. Her blue eyes were soft and wide, looking at him with a gentle concern that suggested she’d guessed at the gaps in his brief tale. He immediately looked away – back at the empty box in front of him. He pushed it away and leaned back in his chair.

“What about you? What’s your story?” he said, switching to a lighter tone.

“My story?”

“Yeah Cooper, hit me with your deepest and darkest.”

“I don’t know what to say... my home life was picture perfect.”

“Picture perfect?”

“Picture perfect. Nice nuclear family of four, parents always loved each other, loved us – even my brother and I always got on well.”

“Ugh,” he scoffs, half joking. “Sickening.”

She smiles. “I know right. So normal I’m beginning to think we're abnormal.”

“So where’s your angst from? A girl with your fondness for Green Day has to have an angry bone in her.”

Rose paused in thought. “High school wasn’t great I guess. We moved around a lot when we were kids so I’ve never really fit in anywhere. And... I don’t know. I guess everyone picked up on that. And picked on it.”

Jess raised an eyebrow.

“Just your garden variety teenage bullying.” She shrugged. “We were kids. They didnt appreciate my refusal to conform to popular trends or the fact that I was smarter than them. It was what it was. No biggie.”

“No biggie?”

“Okay... maybe some biggie at the time. But, life moves on. We grow up.”

“You’re still mad at them though?” He asked, studying her face as if to read between her lines.

Rose shook her head gently. “Not really. They were young and conformity was probably their biggest source of security. I guess... fair enough that I threatened that.”

Jess nodded. “You've a remarkably balanced view on this.”

Rose chuckled. “Balance is what I’m known for.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Alongside rule following, a total lack of spontaneity, and a general tendency to reliably boring habitualness." They laughed. “Remind me again why you hang out with me James Dean?”

“Don’t put yourself down.” Jess smiled. “There’s something interesting about you Cooper.”

“Any way you can say that without making it sound bad?” She teased.


	4. Soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet.

The next afternoon, the diner was quiet. Five o’clock came and went, and Rose’s table remained empty. At six, someone else tried to sit there, and found themselves abruptly barred by a grumpy Jess, arms folded across his chest, insisting that it had been ‘reserved'.

More than once, Luke caught his nephew eyes stray from the open book he had laid out on the counter, to the door that failed to produce the town’s newest resident.

“How bad was that dinner?” Luke teased him, passing by as Jess again let his gaze slip.

Jess scowled. “Not that bad.”

A little later on, some light was finally cast on the mystery of their missing client. Betty, the pink-rinsed and sharp tongued old lady who manned the reception desk at the town archives, stopped in for a cup of tea with a friend.

“Oh, it was a slow slow day today.” She said to her blue-rinsed friend. “Our new girl called in sick. Silly thing – I can’t imagine what she has to be getting sick about this time of year.”

“Oh Betty hush.” Her friend shot back. “She’s probably not used to our American diseases.”

“American diseases.” Betty snorted. “She said it was a bad cold, nothing more. I’m certain they have those on both sides of the Atlantic these days.”

Jess raised an eyebrow at Luke, who was clearly listening in to the conversation too.

“That explains the absence of your favourite customer.” Luke said softly to him.

“Huh.”

Rose was swaddled in a mound of duvet and pyjamas, fast asleep, when the buzzer at the street door to her stairs rudely awakened her. Scowling at the headache that immediately hit her, she simply glared at the stupid machine by her door and muttered a thick “go away.”

And then the thing buzzed again. Rose groaned and snuggled further down into the blankets. “No.” She said feebly in the direction of the door.

She began to doze back off in the peaceful silence that fell after the second buzz. Whoever it was could come back tomorrow if they were so desperate to see her. Hopefully by then she might be feeling a little better...

The next thing she knew, her apartment door was swinging open, a strangely familiar figure standing there with a paper bag from the diner in his arms.

“You should tell your landlord to put better locks on this place.” Jess was saying.

“Jess?” Rose blinked at him from her duvet cocoon.

“You didn’t answer the door! I thought you might have died up here. Don’t worry-" he added, catching her look of confusion. “I didn’t break the locks, just picked them.”

“Jess what on earth are you doing here?” Even Rose’s voice sounded sick.

“Well, Luke wasn’t sure you'd have anything in to eat since you’re sick and all, so he sent me over with a couple of pots of soup.”

Rose just stared at him blankly.

“It’s vegetable soup. No chicken involved anywhere.”

“I... thanks?” Rose frowned weakly.

“So this is your apartment...” Jess said, looking around at the tiny space. She had a kitchenette against one wall, a table and chairs in the middle, and her bed tucked in the corner.

“Yes...?” Rose's headache was kicking with a vengeance and she wanted nothing more than to sink back into her pillows and go back to sleep.

“Do you want me to heat you some up?” Jess asked, indicating the soup pots that he had placed on the table.

“No, I’m - I'm not hungry. Thanks.” Rose began sliding back into her cocoon.

Jess smiled softly at the pale face that was starting to recede back under the bed covers. She looked really ill. “Have you got meds at all? Anything you can take?”

She shook her head. “I’ll be fine. I can sleep it off.”

Jess chuckled. “Okay, Cooper. I'll see myself out. Hope you feel better soon.”

Rose smiled weakly at him as he creeped out and closed the door softly behind himself.

When the buzzer went the next afternoon, Rose was up to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Feeling better I see.” Came Jess’s voice, tinny through the speaker.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Sure you want to come up here Mariano? Might catch whatever I’ve got.”

“I came through yesterday fine.”

She shook her head. “Fine.” And buzzed him in.

“Still playing hookey?” He teased, as she opened her door to him.

“I’d never forgive myself if I gave this thing to Betty.”

“Protecting our senior citizens, how noble.”

“Though chances are she gave it to me. I'm not sure even the flu could take that woman out.” Rose shook her head. Her voice was still thick with the cold.

Jess chuckled. “As long as you didn’t catch it from that dinner.”

“Oh no.” Rose smiled. “I could kinda feel it coming on before we went out. Not bad you know, but building. If anything I probably just distributed it at the dinner.”

“Here’s hoping that jerk got it.”

Rose laughed. 

“How’s the soup?” Jess nodded to the bowl Rose retrieved from the microwave.

“Good. Probably the only thing keeping me alive.”

“Good thing I brought it then.”

“Good thing you did.”

A moment of silence fell between them.

“Are you gonna sit?” Rose gestured to the chair Jess was leaning on as she sat down at another one with the bowl of soup in front of her.

“Yeah.” Jess pulled the chair out and sat before her.

“So,” he started, nervously running a hand over his face. “I'm headed back to New York tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Rose nodded.

“I just wanted to... say goodbye, before I go.”

Rose put her spoon down. “Okay, um, thanks.” She smiled. “I'd hug you goodbye but I don’t want to give you this cold.”

Jess gave her a quick half smile. “Maybe next time.”

“Maybe next time.” Rose bit her lip.


	5. Concrete Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suffocating in the small town, Rose breaks out for a trip to The Big Apple.

Stars Hollow somehow seemed smaller without Jess there to talk to. Rose had known it was a foolish idea to befriend someone who was only passing through, but somehow it had happened anyway, and now here she was. She found herself missing him, though she told herself that was only natural, him being the first real friend she'd made in the town. The involuntary habit of snapping her head up to look for him every time she caught half a word in what sounded like his voice, she couldn’t explain away so easily. It was possible, just possible, that she may have developed the slightest of crushes on him. But what was a crush, she reasoned. They were adults now. He wasn’t in town anymore anyway.

Out of habit, Rose continued to frequent Luke’s diner on her way home from work. She now spoke to a few more people – Luke sometimes, Lorelai, her landlord Taylor Doose (when she couldn’t find an excuse to leave fast enough). The town’s resident gossip, a large and colourful woman by the name of Miss Patty, also took to sitting at Rose’s table for a chat.

“Rose, darling, you simply must tell me what a pretty young thing like you is doing without a man on your arm.”

Rose shrugged shyly.

“Come on now dear, what is it you’re hiding? Is there a boy back home waiting for you? Some brawny Scotsman with nothing on under his kilt – or a handsome English gentleman just waiting to whisk you off to Downton Abbey?”

Rose laughed. “There’s no one waiting back home for me.”

“Oooh!” Miss Patty’s eyes flashed with excitement. “In that case I shall have to introduce you to some of our fine young American men. Stars Hollow has quite a few eligible specimens...”

Rose had laughed when Miss Patty initially made that suggestion, expecting it to be at least half a joke. She quickly learnt that it was not remotely a joke, when the third man of the week cornered her in Doose's for a chat. The first two had been polite, if awkward, interactions. This one – Rose hadn’t even caught his name – was a little more insistent.

“... I know this great place in Hartford we could go to, and I just finished working on my truck – got it all suped up and shiny. I could drive us out there at there tonight if you fancy? We could grab some dinner after the game maybe?”

Rose was thinking as fast as she possibly could.

“I'm busy tonight actually, sorry.”

“How about tomorrow? The game won’t be on of course, but I guess we could maybe get dinner, and catch the game next week.”

“Ah, uh...” Think faster Rose, think faster. “Um to tell you the truth, I'm actually seeing someone already.”

“Oh.” The change in the young man's countenance had red flag written all over it. “Somebody else got to you first, ey? Well Miss Patty sure didn’t mention it. Wasting my damn time coming out here to talk to you...”

“Oh, Miss Patty didn’t know.” Rose added hurriedly, the words falling out her mouth before she had time to give them due thought. “He’s not from Stars Hollow. That is, I didn’t meet him in Stars Hollow. I – uh – it’s not been going on long, not long enough to be publicly declaring, you know. He's... he’s from out of town. Well, he lives out of town.”

“Well I’ll be sure to let Miss Patty know. Goodbye.” The guy stormed out of the market, leaving Rose to silently run over the scrambled mess of an excuse she’d used.

The next afternoon, Rose was in a far from charming mood after a mishap at the archives that had left her sorting out mislabelled files for hours. When she walked into the diner, she found Miss Patty sitting at her corner table, eyes glinting with newfound knowledge. Rose quickly performed what she hoped was not too visible a swerve, finding herself standing at the counter instead.

“What can I get you?” Luke asked, as he cleared the countertop before her.

“A coffee to go, please.” Rose caught Miss Patty getting up and moving towards them. “And uh - Jess's number.”

The last request slipped out of her mouth before she could catch it. Rose felt her face flush scarlet. Of course she'd thought about it, on and off all week. Luke would be the person to ask for it, and maybe, maybe she could ask for it, and maybe she could call him, and maybe... Until that very moment she had had no serious intentions of actually doing it. But this out of town boyfriend business was scrambling Rose’s head, and she desperately wanted to talk to the one person she knew would be able to crack the right sarcastic joke about the whole situation.

Luke chuckled, and handed her a napkin with a string of numbers scribbled on it. "He keeps changing them every other week or so, but this is the last one I got him on.”

"Thank you so much!” Rose said, grabbing the napkin and the coffee.

“No problem.”

Miss Patty appeared at Rose’s shoulder just as she turned to leave.

“Now, now young miss. You can’t run away that fast without telling me more about this mystery suitor of yours!”

Rose shot Luke a panicked glance as he began to laugh at her from behind the counter.

“Oh, um, I’m really sorry Miss Patty.” Scrambling for excuses yet again. Why didn’t she think of this beforehand. “I'd love to stay and chat but I’m really in a hurry this evening, um, maybe I’ll catch you later?”

Rose sent her what she hoped was an apologetic smile before fleeing the diner as fast as her feet could carry her.

Later that evening, after hours of staring at the napkin she left sitting on her kitchen table, Rose finally worked up the courage to call Jess. She paced the length of her tiny flat - always nervous on telephone calls, ever since she was a kid – while she typed the numbers in and raised the phone to her ear. He answered after a few rings, just before she could chicken out and give up.  
  
"Hello?"   
  
"Uh, is this Jess?"  
  
"...yes?"  
  
"Hi! Its Rose!"  
  
"Hey. How did you get my number?"  
  
"Oh, I – uh I asked Luke."  
  
"Huh."  
  
"So uh, how's New York?"  
  
"Big."  
  
"I bet."  
  
"Why did you call?"  
  
"Well I-"  
  
"I'm glad you called."  
  
"You are?" She bit her lip.  
  
"Yeah."

“Well... Stars Hollow is crazy.”

“You called me to tell me Stars Hollow is crazy? That’s a God-given fact. Pretty sure they mentioned it in the Bible somewhere.”

Rose laughed. “Yeah well, newbie here didn’t realise how crazy.”

“How crazy is crazy?”

“We’re talking Footloose levels of crazy.”

Jess mock-gasped. “They’re not burning the books are they?!”

“Not quite.” Rose chuckled. “But I wouldn’t put it past them to ban the music sometime soon.”

“Those small town sons of bitches...”

“Actually, Jess, I was wondering if I could come and see you. I've uh, well I’ve never been to New York, and I'm free Saturday, and I don’t know, I’d really like to get out of this place for a little bit. If you’re free and you’re not too busy or anything.”

Rose’s heart was hammering in her chest so hard she was almost sure Jess would be able to hear it over the phone line. So maybe, at the end of the line of maybes that started with asking Luke for his number, Rose had wondered about going out to New York to see him. And maybe, out of the same vein of curiosity that had her buying his book when they first met, she had looked up a bus timetable, just to see how feasible it would be. And maybe, one quiet night to stave off the boredom of her tiny apartment, she’d planned out the whole trip, all the things she’d want to see.

  
"Sure."  
  
"Sure?"  
  
"I'm not busy."

He's not busy. He's not busy.

“Okay! Okay, great! I was thinking of getting the ten o’clock Greyhound, which should get in at twelve ish. Do you want to maybe meet somewhere?”

“Sure.”

“Uh – okay, well I – you know the city better than me so wherever you think is best?”

“I’ll find you at the station."

“Okay! Okay. I was thinking of maybe seeing some of the sights – and the Met, I’d love to go to the Met. If that’s not too cheesy tourist for you. I mean if there’s stuff you think is better I’m happy to...?”

“We can go to the Met.”

“Great. And uh yeah, then wherever else you think I should see and then I’ll get one of the afternoon buses back – maybe the five thirty, it’s the last one out.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. It’s a plan. So it’s the Greyhound I’m taking in – and it should get there at twelve.”

“Relax Cooper. I’ll be there, I’ll take you to the Met and maybe a couple of places I know. It’ll be great. Quit planning.”

“Okay, okay. Thank you. I’ll see you then?”

“See you then.”

When Rose stepped off the bus at Port Authority, it was into a whirling crowd of people. Everyone was moving very fast, with determined-not-to-be-distracted glowers on their faces. Rose found herself very quickly disorientated in the crossing flows of people. Not a single sign pointed clearly or comprehensibly to an exit.

Nor did she stand any chance of finding Jess in the crowd. He hadn’t told her exactly where in the station he would find her, just that he would. Now she was standing there, people pushing past her, she seriously began to regret not setting an exact location.

Someone pushed particularly hard into her, and Rose realised she’d dawdled into a particularly busy section of traffic. The panic rising, she pushed her way through towards the back wall just to get out of the way and figure out what to do next.

There, on a bench against the back wall, sat a familiar figure with his nose buried in yet another book. Rose couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her face at the sight of him, nor the bubble of bright, nervous joy that burst inside her chest.

“Hi.” She said, coming to stand beside him.

He looked up at her, a grin breaking out onto his face. “Hi. How you doing?”

“A little overwhelmed maybe.”

“Poor little country girl.”

“Lost in the Bus Terminal. The lesser known B Side to The Clash's classic Lost in the Supermarket.”

Jess chuckled. “Shall we?” He asked, standing to leave.

“Yes please.” Rose said, following him out through the crowd.

New York took her breath away when they stepped out of the station into the sunshine. The buildings soared, towered over them, great concrete and glass obelisks. A hundred thousand invisible people rushing around their feet, in a swelling and pulsating mass that flowed like water along the busy sidewalks. Rose’s eyes widened as she took in the cityscape before them, pausing mid step. Jess glanced back at her and laughed.

“You are so a country girl.”

Rose just grinned at him. “This is incredible.”

“Come on.” He turned back towards the street.

“Wait! Don’t move a muscle!” Rose said suddenly, swinging her rucksack around and rooting around in its depths. A beam of sunlight shot down between the sky scrapers, catching a pocket of the street and the edge of Jess’s cheek in a film of gold.

“What?” Jess shot back, turning around again.

“I said don’t move!” Rose repeated, pulling out an old camera from her bag and passing the strap around her neck.

“Oh no…” Jess said.

“Too touristy?” She teased.

“Way too touristy. Come on, I’m supposed to be showing you New York as a New Yorker. – wait! Don’t you dare point that thing at me!”

Rose grinned at him from behind the camera. “Look away from me – down the street.”

“Rose!”

“Come on.”

“No.”

She pulled the camera away from her eye and pouted at him. “Would it make you feel better if I told you it’s on black and white 35mm film? It’ll be as artsy a shot as I can make it.”

“You shoot film?”

“I shoot film. And I listen to Vinyl. I’m a few vintage bandshirts short of being a hipster. Now Mr New Yorker, will you look away down the street please?”

“Fine.” Jess turned back to the street with a quick half smile. “This work for you, Walker Evans?”

“Just a little to the left… perfect.” There was the sharp sound of the shutter released, followed by the tick of the mechanism as Rose wound the next photograph on. “I’m more of an Inge Morath, Imogen Cunningham kinda girl anyway.”

“In your dreams Cooper.” Jess grinned as she fell into step beside him. “I didn’t know you were a photographer.”

“I’m not really – its just a hobby.”

“You’ll have to show me your stuff sometime.”

Rose blushed. “Okay.”

They grabbed lunch from a street vendor, and Jess led Rose around some of the classic highlights of the New York streets, before stopping in at the Met. Rose had taken a couple of art history classes at university, and spent a lot of the time uttering quiet “oh I know you!”s to various paintings they passed.

To Jess’s relief, she didn’t take her art too seriously. She was just as willing to take the absolute piss out of a painting as she was to give him an in depth lecture on it. Often the two came mixed together.

If the paintings on the gallery walls had been able to talk, that afternoon they’d have spoken of the young couple that wandered amongst them. One pair of worn sneakers, one pair of scuffed brown boots, two soft old denim jackets. Eyes alight with excitement. She had a habit of tucking her auburn hair behind her ears, staring with wide grey-blue eyes at the expanse of oil coated canvas, before breaking into a smile and tripping over the words as they stumbled out from her mouth, punctuated by shy glances at her companion to check she wasn’t boring him. He, stood beside her, hands in his pockets, with a soft smile and eyes that shone at her enthusiasm more often than they shone at the art. There was an occasional grab of the arm, a ‘hey look at this!’. A gentle guiding hand on an elbow, steering one to look at something specific on the other side of the room. In amongst the modern art of the twentieth century, her nose wrinkling at the contorted figures. His hand on her back as they stood together before one, whispering in her ear a running commentary that had her failing to stifle serious giggles.

By the time they emerged back onto the bustling streets of the city, both were hungry and foot sore.

“Dinner?” Jess asked, as they strolled idly down the street.

“I'm not sure, shouldn’t we be heading back to the bus station soon?” Rose replied, checking her watch carefully.

“What’s the time?”

“Quarter to five. But the bus goes at five thirty.”

“Pssht. We've got time. Come on, I know this great little place.”

Rose sighed and smiled at him. “Fine. But if I miss my bus I’m going to kill you.”

“You wouldn’t. Think how boring your life would be without me.” Jess shot back.

Rose pulled a face at him in response and then looked away. They walked alongside each other for a few moments in silence.

“Earth to Rose?”

She frowned at him, then sighed. “I'm trying really hard to think of something interesting in my life over here that isn’t you...”

The peal of laughter Jess let out was both surprised and genuine.

“That’s just Stars Hollow baby.” He grinned.

“I mean, it’s full of interesting people, right? They’re just all... certifiably insane. And I’m just... too British to fit in.”

He nudged her shoulder with his. “You'll get the hang of it soon. Or you won’t.”

Rose raised an eyebrow at him. “Was that supposed to be reassuring?”

Dinner seemed to take no time at all, crammed in on a little table in a little place in Manhattan’s Chinatown. Their knees were knocking together under the table, elbows resting on top of it, as they leaned in to talk, eyes only for each other. As with every conversation between the two of them, it was interspersed with moments of head-tipped-back laughter.

Dinner especially seemed to take no time at all when Rose looked down at her watch and saw that it still read four forty-five. She blinked and frowned at it for a moment, double checking again and again that she'd read it right.

“You okay there Cooper?” Jess asked, smiling at her.

“Yeah I- I think my watch stopped. It still says four forty-five, but it can’t be...”

“We can’t have been here an hour yet.” Jess replied. “I’m sure you can still make your bus.”

“I don’t know...” Rose continued to frown. “I’d probably better start heading over, see if I can find the time out on the way.”

“Okay, okay – just let me pay.”

“Oh – no, here, let me pay for mine.”

“Nah I’ve got it.”

“Jess. Please.”

“There’s no winning with you, huh?”

“I’m steadily employed, you’re the starving artist. Just take my money.” Rose’s joke fell a little flat, tone dampened by the anxiety written across her face.

“Chill Cooper, we're going. You'll make it.”

They positively ran back to the bus terminal. It was almost comedic, the way they slid in through the open doors, trainers squeaking on the polished floors.

“Fuck...” Rose whispered, the colour draining out of her face as she looked at the departure board. It was six thirty. It had been one of those dinners where the time passes without anyone noticing, too lost in conversation.

And now the last bus home was well and truly missed.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” She said, sitting down heavily on a nearby bench. “Fuck.”

“Now what's the plan?” Jess asked, sitting down beside her.

“Shit. Well – my bus ticket is open ended. So that’s okay. I can just get one in the morning. But I’ll need to get a timetable – I don’t know when the morning ones run.”

“And tonight?”

“Well… there’s gotta be hotels in this city. Maybe I can find one that takes walk-ins… though they’re probably all more than I can even afford… God. I don’t know. Worst comes to worst there are park benches. Or I can just walk around till the sun comes up, maybe. Isn’t this the city that never sleeps?”

“Yeah, which would be why park benches and walking around would be a bad idea.”

“Fuck. I don’t know – I don’t know.” Rose sank her head into her hands.

“Stay with me.”

“What?” She peeked up at him through her fingers. He was looking down at her steadily.

“You can stay at my place.”

“I can?”

“Yeah – I mean its not great, and we’ll have to share the bed, but it’s a place, it has a roof and walls.”

“I can stay with you?”

“If you couldn’t I wouldn’t be offering.”

“What about your flatmates? Will they be okay with it?”

“They don’t get a say in it.”

“Are you sure its okay? Really?”

“Jeez, Rose, come on. Its fine.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay, okay. Thank you. Really, thank you.”

“It's okay.” He stood up from the bench. “Come on Wendy.”

“Wendy?”

“Peter Pan. You are so a Wendy.”

“I… yeah, I can’t argue with that. Guess that makes you my Peter?” The words had escaped her mouth before she realised their implications. Doesn’t Peter kiss Wendy at the end? She felt her cheeks catch fire. God – if she could just swallow that sentence back. “Or one of the lost boys maybe?” She added hastily.

Jess chuckled. “I’m a Peter.”

“This way to Neverland,” he deadpanned, as they stepped out of the station doors. “Second star on the right and straight on to 45th.”


	6. Where Dreams Are Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a long night in a city that never sleeps

They spent their evening sitting out in the warm June air in Washington Square Park, talking books. Sat together on a bench, Rose’s legs crossed under her, turned to face Jess, his arm resting along the back of the bench, eyes shining only for each other, many a passerby could have been forgiven for assuming the pair something more than friends. Dusk had begun to creep across the city, the lights of New York starting to twinkle around them, before they made any moves to leave. It was only as the cooler air of the night began to creep into their bones that they chased themselves off their bench and off in search of Jess’s apartment.

It was an unassuming door, accessed from a shadowy looking alley, that Jess led them to. He became slightly more withdrawn as they climbed the dirty staircase, paint peeling on the walls around them. His brown eyes looked everywhere other than Rose’s, as if seeking to avoid catching her response to the place.

He let them in to an upstairs apartment, door creaking open to one large room. There were five or six single mattresses strewn across the floor, most with bed sheets tangled over them. A mini fridge stood whirring away in one corner. Rose took in the stained and mouldering ceiling, the first sized holes in the plasterboard walls, and the chewed up door that led to the single toilet.

“Well here we are.” Jess said brusquely, braving a glance at Rose’s face. She was staring, eyes wide at the room around them, but she flicked her gaze back to meet his and shot him a smile.

“Its cool.” She said, quietly. “Reminds me a little of some of the student dives my friends lived in. Or -" she added, catching sight of a guitar resting at the foot of one of the mattresses -"the perfect place for a group of starving artists to live. A little bit Beat poet, Henry Miller in Paris, you know?”

Jess chuckled. “Henry Miller sounds about right. Maybe a few less prostitutes though.”

Rose smiled. “Good to know.”

The tension settled across both their shoulders as they stood there together. For all Rose was trying to smile and romanticize the scene, her core was a twisting knot of anxiety. It wasn’t a place she was going to feel safe sleeping in. And Jess beside her had closed up, the easy comfort they'd had together in the park now shot through with tension. Rose suspected he was on edge with her there – worried, perhaps, that she’d turn her college-educated middle class nose up at his less than stellar living situation. But, she reasoned, it was only one night. An adventure. And Jess was there with her. He knew the room's other inhabitants and could... keep her safe, though she didn’t like to think of it like that.

“So which one is yours?” She asked, looking around at the mattresses.

“Here in the corner.” Jess moved towards one that had a sizeable pile of books stacked up beside it.

Rose smiled. “Of course. That’s quite the personal library you have there.”

Jess shrugged. “I'll get more when I move to Philly, I should have more space for them there.”

“So tell me about your flatmates.” She said, as they sat down on his mattress.

“There’s not much to tell.” Jess looked around. A few of the mattresses had sleeping forms on them, but many were yet empty. “That’s Todd on our left. And Jeff on our right.”

Rose nodded and followed his indication. ‘Todd' appeared to be a mound of blankets that breathed gently. Jeff was currently unoccupied.

“So what do you... do around here?” Rose asked hesitantly.

“Sleep?” Jess shot back.

“No, I meant like, as a job.”

Jess shrugged. “This and that.”

“Being?”

“I was a messenger for a bit.”

“A messenger? For who?”

Jess shot her a dark look. “You don’t want to know Cooper. It’s not exactly above board.”

“Oh.” She nodded slowly. “Okay...”

The apartment door swung open, cutting off the tense moment that was building between them.

“Hey, Jess!” The man standing at the door said. He was short – shorter than Jess and Rose – and heavy around the middle. Rose couldn’t have guessed his age. He appeared somewhere between 40 and 60, crows feet deep at the corners of his eyes, the little hair left on his head turning grey at the fringes.

“Jeff.” Jess snorted shortly in amusement.

“Who’s your new friend?” Jeff grinned at Rose, his thick New York accent borderline unintelligible to her British ears.

“This is Rose. She’s staying tonight.”

Jeff wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Rose. It’s not often young Jess here brings home a girl.” He chuckled to himself. Rose tried to smile at him as she felt her face heat up with an embarrassed blush.

“I think never would be more apt.” Jess said tersely. He was pointedly looking away from Rose, but she caught his cheeks looking a touch pinker than usual too.

“Well I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it.” Jeff chuckled, sitting down heavily on his mattress.

“We’re not-" They both started at the same time, before looking quickly at each other with eyes that flashed alarm.

Jeff laughed at them. “Alright, alright. My mistake.”

Rose ran a hand over her face. This was going to be a long night.

“Shall we crash?” Jess asked, nodding to the bed they were sitting on.

“Yeah, sure.” Rose replied. She wasn’t sure she was exactly tired yet, but at least pretending to sleep got them out of this sticky situation. “Can I use the bathroom?”

“Sure. It’s just in there.” Jess pointed to the chewed up door in the corner. “The lock is broken, fair warning.”

“Oh. Okay. Great.” Rose stood up and crept across the floor to the toilet.

Jeff chuckled. "'Bathroom'?” He said, attempting to mimic her English accent. “You can tell she’s not from round here."

"Never been to the city before." Jess replied.

"Never been to the city before?! And you brought her here?"

Jess half smiled and shrugged.

"And you're not sleeping with her?"

"Nope."

"Fewee. You say the word and you could be."

"What?"

"Come on kid. She came out to the city and now she’s here and she’s trying not to turn her nose up - this chick has to be mad about you. You sure you're not sleeping with her?"

"... Not yet."

"Why not? She's cute too."

"I was only passing through, wasn’t gonna be around long."

"Plans change, kiddo, plans change."

Rose crept back over to Jess’s mattress and stood at the foot of it, looking down at him. She felt so physically awkward about the entire situation that she was starting to forget how to use her limbs in a coordinated manner.

“You just gonna stand there Cooper?” Jess teased her softly.

Rose screwed up her face then ran a hand over it again. “Yeah. I think so.”

Jess raised an eyebrow at her and she could see his eyes laughing at her. “That’ll be comfortable for a whole night.”

Rose stuck her tongue out at him, before dragging herself around the side of the bed and sitting down to unlace her beaten up converse. “Is it okay if I take my Jeans off?” She whispered. “Not sure I fancy sleeping in them.”

“Sure. Whatever.” Jess replied, stripping down to his boxers and t shirt on the other side of the bed.

Rose left her stuff neatly by the head of the bed, and cautiously climbed in under the covers. Jess climbed in beside her, and they lay there for a few moments on their backs, side by side. She was very aware of how close his shoulder was to her's, could feel the heat radiating from his body. Thank god the room was dark, she thought. Her cheeks were going up in literal flames, fanned by Jeff’s commentary.

“Night.” Jess said briefly, before rolling onto his side away from her.

“Night.” She whispered back, eyes still staring at the ceiling. She lay there and listened as his breathing slowly evened out, and Jeff began to snore beside them. After what felt like an age, she rolled over onto her side too and closed her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep.

It was a fitful, restless sleep. Her dreams were light and confused, snippets of figures and scenes from throughout the day running past. Even dreaming, every fibre of her body was aware of the narrow strip of mattress she had, desperately focused on not rolling off nor rolling into Jess sleeping beside her. Other people came in and out of the room at various hours, the creak of the door or the tread of a footstep too close to their mattress waking her up.

Rose found herself wide awake at one point, what felt like ten minutes after first drifting off. She rolled over onto her other side, and found herself face to face with a sleeping Jess, their noses inches apart. She held her breath for a moment, just watching him. There was something unusually vulnerable about him, his face relaxed and unguarded, body curled up into itself. Something achingly tender blossomed in Rose’s chest. There was a lot in his life he hadn’t told her, though Rose had pieced together enough to figure out that it wasn’t pretty. Watching him lie there, the softest expression she'd seen yet on his face, she was filled with a desire to hold him in her arms, in a serious hug, close to her aching heart.

It was ruined a moment later. Jess shifted slightly in his sleep and let out an ungodly noise. And then he did it again.

Rose realised he was snoring. Loudly. Right in her ear. She laughed at herself silently. That must have been what woke her. She rolled back over to her side of the bed and tried to tune it out and go back to sleep.

When Rose next woke, a soft grey light was filtering into the room through the curtainless windows. She could see the rough shapes of bodies slumbering in the other mattresses. She rolled back over to face Jess again.

But the bed beside her was empty.

Rose’s heart froze for a second, seized with panic. Where the fuck was he? He wouldn’t have just left her there, would he?

Her rational brain kicked in and she reminded herself he had probably just gone to the toilet. But what had he meant earlier about being a ‘below board’ messenger? Rose guessed it was probably drugs related. A couple of the rooms other inhabitants hadn’t looked especially sober. Could he have been called out in the middle of night on something?

Rose tried to shut her overthinking brain up, and failed. She lay there a few moments longer before conceding that the anxiety racing through her veins was not about to let her go back to sleep. Slowly, she sat up in the bed, eyes scanning the dark room for a shadow that looked like Jess’s.

He was standing at the window, shoulders silhouetted against the grey sky and twinkling lights of the building across the street. His elbows rested on the windowsill. Relief flooded her as Rose watched a circle of orange flare up and fade away as he took a drag on a cigarette, and exhaled the smoke slowly out the opened window.

She quietly slipped out of the bed and tiptoed across the room to him, her bare feet padding softly on the hard floor. He turned his head briefly to look at her, bare legs pale in the ghostly light, as she came to stand beside him.

“Couldn’t sleep?” She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself as the cool night air drifted in through the open window and drew goosebumps up her bare skin.

Jess exhaled slowly. “I'm a bad sleeper.”

“Nightmares?”

“That sort of thing.”

Rose nodded softly. She looked at him for a moment, soft eyes studying his shadowy features as he stared out the window with unfocused eyes. The tender ache in her chest reopened. He stood there, still as if his limbs were made of lead, weighed down by something he wouldn’t articulate, just breathing slowly in and out. Rose’s arms ached to wrap themselves around him, pull his body into hers and hold him until it was all somehow okay.

But she didn’t know how to – how to raise her arms in the right motion, if he wouldn’t just flinch away from her touch. All the what ifs froze her body up, the wires too tangled in her brain to complete the action. In the end she settled for leaning sideways into him, gently pressing their shoulders together. She could feel the warmth of his body bleed through their thin tshirts at their point of contact. It felt for a moment like every fibre in her body zoomed in on those inches of shoulder, on the silver of bare skin where the sleeves finished and it was bare skin that brushed. Jess glanced over at her and gave an involuntary half smile.

They stood like that for a moment in silence.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Rose whispered.

“I don’t.” Jess whispered back.

She smiled. “Alright Mariano.”

Outside on the empty streets, nothing stirred. There was the faint noise of a siren wailing, many blocks away from them, and then the city was quiet again. Cool night air continued to drift in through the window. Rose involuntarily shivered, shoulder shifting where it still rested against Jess’s.

“This is a nice hour.” She said softly. “Quiet.”

“Yeah.” He breathed.

“I’ve always loved it – that sweet spot when the entire world is asleep, and everything is still and quiet. It’s so peaceful. You can just exist, and breathe freely, and... be alone without being lonely. It’s like a magic hour, for your eyes and your eyes alone.” The romantic soul inside Rose softened as she spoke, a deep low ache mingling with the tenderness already blossomed, and tangling with the nerves that still ran through her like an electric charge.

Jess smiled at her softly. “Didn’t have you pegged as a night owl, Cooper.”

“I’m not.” She smiled back. “I just appreciate it when I am up to see it.”

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

The air between them felt thick with unsaid, unarticulated things. “I'm not used to sharing a bed.” She shrugged. “Besides,” she nudged him gently with her shoulder, “you snore.”

“Sorry.” He whispered, but she could see the laughter in his eyes. She couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her cheeks, nor the giggles that began to bubble up in her chest, her shoulder gently shaking against his.

He was still looking at her, smiling softly. She looked back at him, eyes meeting. “I won't find this nearly so funny in the morning.”

“It is the morning.” He whispered back.

Her giggles increased, shoulders silently shaking.

“What’s so funny?” He whispered, amusement echoing in his voice.

“I couldn’t even tell you.” Everything was always funnier at odd hours of the night, somewhere between delirium and delirious clarity. The anxious energy coiled inside her like a spring since she first woke to the empty bed spilled over into the silent laughter she couldn’t stop.

After a little while her giggles subsided. Jess continued to draw slowly on the shrinking cigarette, though the weight seemed to be slowly lifting from his limbs. The two of them remained standing there, the air thick between them, their shadowy figures blending into one in the half light.

Eventually Jess stubbed out the end of his cigarette and turned away from the window.

“Bed?” he whispered.

Something flipped suddenly inside Rose's stomach as he spoke. She jumped slightly inside her skin. Willing her speeding heart to still, she took a deep breath before replying. “Yeah, we should probably get some more sleep.”

They climbed awkwardly back onto his mattress, and lay down facing each other this time. They stayed there for a moment, just looking at each other. The air grew thicker still between them, almost charged, as they lay there, warm breaths mingling, brown eyes staring into blue.

Rose yawned, involuntarily, so wide her jaw clicked. Jess snorted quietly.

“I think I saw your tonsils.”

Rose pulled a face of affront and blinked sleepily at him. “Go away.”

He smiled at her softly. “Good morning, Cooper.”

“Morning.”

When Rose next awoke, the sun had risen above the buildings beside them and was streaming in through the window. Jess was still fast asleep beside her, snoring softly.

She shifted up into a sitting position, her back resting against the wall, and looked around the room. It seemed much less sinister than it had during the night, the shadowy figures returned to recognisably human form. A couple of the mattresses were now empty, covers pushed back and left tangled by anonymous occupants who had come and went while they slept.

Beside them, Jeff was packing something into a rucksack, his jacket on ready to go. He looked up and saw Rose watching, and grinned.

“You two have a good night?” He asked cheekily.

Rose couldn’t help the blush that creeped into her cheeks. “It was okay.”

He laughed softly as he zipped the bag shut and swung it onto his shoulder. “Well I’ve gotta go, but it was nice meeting you Rose. Tell Jess I said change his plans. Now is now, you get me?”

Rose nodded, baffled. “I will.”

Jeff chuckled as he moved towards the door. “Bye Rose.”

“Bye.”

Jess shifted slightly, but remained asleep. For want of anything better to do, she had a nosy through the stack of books beside her, and pulled out a well worn copy of Kerouac’s On The Road. Flicking through it, Rose found it crammed full of notes in what must be Jess’s handwriting. She settled down to read it, while he continued to snore softly beside her.

“Kerouac. A classic.”

Rose jumped.

Jess chuckled, his voice still thick with sleep. “Didn’t mean to spook you Cooper.”

She smiled. “I've read it before. But I like your notes – definitely improves on the experience.”

Jess smiled sleepily, then rolled onto his back, and covered his eyes with his hand. He lay there for a few minutes, and Rose was beginning to think he’d gone back to sleep when he finally spoke again.

“Coffee?”

“What?” She asked, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow.

“We should get coffee.”

“Alright. You might wanna wake up first.”

Jess groaned in response. “Gimme a minute.”

A couple of minutes later, he forced himself into an upright position and shook his head slightly to wake himself up. Rose grinned and put the book back down on the pile.

“Good morning.”

Jess glared at her, his curly hair unusually tousled. “Why are you so happy?”

“I take it you’re not a morning person.”

“Disadvantages of being up half the night.” He replied.

Rose looked at him with concern for a moment, and nodded. “Yeah.”

Once up, out, and suitably caffeinated, they began to wander back in the direction of the bus terminal.

“Wait! There’s this really cool record store I’ve got show you.” Jess said, grabbing Rose by the arm and dragging her unexpectedly down a nearby side street.

“Okay?”

“It's run by this insane freak who's like a walking encyclopaedia for every punk and garage-band record ever made. Catalogue numbers… it’s crazy. The place is right out of High Fidelity.”

“Okay.” Rose grinned. “It sounds incredible.”

Deep in the downstairs cavern of the record store, they searched through the racks together.

“God, I've never heard of half of these bands...” Rose whispered.

“Me neither.” Jess laughed.

“Oh wait!” She gasped, pulling out a thin record sleeve.

“Green Day. Of course.” Jess said, leaning over her shoulder.

“But it’s an original pressing of Dookie! I've been looking for this one on vinyl for ages – I had them all on CD as a teenager, and I've been trying to switch over but this was the one I couldn’t find!”

“You'll have to take it then.”

“I will.” She glanced up at him, her smile huge. “You know I think this was fate.”

Jess smiled back at her. “I think it was.”

“Okay, this looks like my bus.” Rose said. “At least I can find my way around this damn place now.”

Jess smiled. “You sure can.”

“Well... I better go. Don’t want to miss this one too.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay well... thank you for everything. This was a lot of fun.”

“It was.”

“Maybe... we can do it again sometime. Or something.” Rose shrugged.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“I... goodbye then?”

Jess just nodded, and Rose took a step towards the bus doors, before turning back.

“Wait, I promised I’d hug you goodbye this time.”

Jess laughed and passed his hand across his mouth. “Yeah you did Cooper.”

“Well seeing as I’m not stricken with the plague...” She stepped in and they hugged, briefly, chests pressed together, her arms across his shoulders, his hand resting on the small of her back. When she stepped away she could feel herself blushing.

“Right. Well...”

“Yeah.”

“Hopefully I’ll see you again soon sometime?”

“Maybe.” Jess nodded.

Rose smiled. “Okay. Bye Jess.”

“Bye.”

She boarded the bus and walked along towards the back. Beside her Jess followed alongside. She found a free seat and sat down in it heavily, and waved briefly to Jess who stood outside, hands in his pockets again.

“Oh! Wait!” She said.

Jess looked at her confused and motioned to open the window. She knelt up on the chair and managed to push it open with some force.

“Jess!”

“Yes?” He grinned up at her.

“Jeff told me to tell you - change your plans? Oh and he also said ‘now is now’.”

Jess laughed. “Crazy old guy.”

Rose shrugged. “I guess he figured you'd know what it meant?”

“Yeah. I do. Have a good trip.”

“Thank you! Bye!” She called, as the bus began to move, jerking her back down into her seat. She waved to him, as the bus pulled away, and watched as he stood for a moment watching, before turning away and disappearing into the crowds.

Rose sank back into her seat and stared out the window as an old ache settled into her chest. Back to mad old Stars Hollow... She didn’t know when she’d next see Jess. There was a serious chance that maybe she never would.

As the ache grew, Rose glanced around the bus to check that no one was paying her any attention, and then let the tears slowly fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeff is possibly the most unexpected form Cupid has ever chosen to take.


	7. Wise Guy That Jeff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans change, and new ones are made.

Monday met Rose in a mood most foul. She'd dreamt of home that night, the old ache of longing still eating away at her chest in the morning. All day in the archives, Betty had been tutting disapprovingly about something or other. Rose had found another mislabelled section, and had to spend hour after hour sorting through the dusty files to rehome them, only to find that a number of key documents were as of yet missing in action.

And try as she might, she could not keep Jess out of her mind. How many of the files had she mislabelled, she wondered, distracted by a hundred questions thrown up by New York. Was he still there now? Would he drop by here on his travels? What had Jeff meant by ‘change his plans'?

What was it that had woken him in the middle of the night? Why hadn’t she just hugged him there and then, when he'd looked like he needed one so badly? Did he always get up at that hour, smoke a cigarette and watch the dawn? His face when he slept – so soft...

And in the gallery, and at the dinner, and in the park. The hours they had spent talking and laughing and teasing each other. She was still laughing, even now, at some of the jokes.

Would she see him again? They had each other’s mobile numbers now... But that didn’t mean he'd call. He was probably busy, doing something, somewhere. What cause would he have to call her? He wasn’t the one stuck in the tiny town she was struggling to settle into.

When five o'clock finally came round, Rose almost ran out of the dusty old archives. She was exhausted, desperate for some fresh air and a decent cup of Luke’s coffee.

“Ah! There you are Rose!” Miss Patty suddenly appear beside her, and took her by the elbow. “The suspense is absolutely killing me. I am simply dying to know more about this mystery man of yours!”

Rose winced. This was the one thing she was not prepared to handle in that very moment. Not a single believable scrambled lie came to mind.

“Now, now dear, you can’t hold out on me any longer. Kirk saw you sneaking off on that bus on Saturday. You must have been going to your lover...”

That was it. Rose couldn’t take another minute of this small town gossip. Could she not move a single muscle without the whole town knowing?

Rose disentangled her arm from Miss Patty’s and donned her finest icy Brit.

“I beg your pardon, Miss Patty.” Rose said coldly. I beg your pardon? She could hear Jess laughing inside her head. “But I fail to see exactly how my activities and my _private_ life are any concern of you or the town. If I am seeing someone, as the rumours appear to dictate, that matter is between them and I alone.”

Miss Patty stood there, aghast leaving her mouth wide open. Rose nodded curtly and strode off down the street at an intimidating pace. Oh, she knew that was going to backfire. So much for making friends and being nice. So much for Jess saving her reputation after that party. She'd blown it anyway. Pissing off the town gossip? Now that was one sure fire way to ensure everyone would know what a rude, mean person she was. She really knew how to pick her moments.

Rose stormed into Luke’s with a face like thunder and an internal monologue that had melted into a string of glowering curses. She didn’t even spare a glance for her usual table. Today was not a day she wished to spend accessible to the people of Stars Hollow.

“One coffee to go please.” She bit out as she reached the counter where Luke was standing.

“Now that is quite a face.” Jess’s voice, laced with amusement, came from further along the counter.

Rose's heart stopped and restarted at twice it’s normal pace, all within a second.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” She blinked at him in disbelief.

“What a welcome!” He grinned.

Rose just stared at him. Her brain had officially shut down. Jess... Jess... Jess was here. Here? Here. Jess. Jess here.

“Here you go.” Luke handed her the to-go mug with coffee with an amused grin.

“I... thanks.” She said, vaguely, placing the change in her hand down on the counter. Jess – Jess. Just standing there. Smiling at her.

“Oh, Rose!” Kirk, sitting next to her, turned to her on his seat at the counter. “Miss Patty tells me you have a man out of town. Was that where you were going on the bus on Saturday?”

In that moment, Rose was quite certain that she could physically feel the world crashing down around her ears. She wasn’t sure her heart hadn’t stopped again.

Jess was looking at her with a grin of barely restrained laughter. Why couldn’t the world open up and consume her entire being right there and then? He was going to think it was him. He was going to think it was him. It wasn’t anyone. How the fuck was she going to explain her way out of this one?

“I...” This was it. Total organ failure. Total cell death. “I'm going". Rose turned on her heels and fled the building.

“Rose! Hey! Wait up!”

Rose froze. She turned slowly to see Jess jogging along to catch her up. She forced a weak smile.

“So you've got a mystery man out of town, huh?” Jess grinned as he caught her up.

Rose groaned. “Its not – I –I didn’t – I... that’s not even remotely a sentence.”

Jess chuckled. “Long day?”

“Impossibly so.”

“Come on,” he said, placing a guiding hand on her elbow that did nothing to improve her brain functionality. “Let me show you the one decent place in this trashland.”

“I can’t believe I’ve been here a whole month and not come across this!” Rose said, as they sat down on the old bridge. “I really must spend too much time in the damned archives. This place is beautiful.” She smiled at Jess.

“You wanna tell me about your out of town lover now?” Jess grinned.

“I...” Rose sighed and ran a hand over her face. “Miss Patty was trying to set me up with Stars Hollow's finest. So I told this one entitled asshat that I was already seeing someone, just to get him off my back.”

“Ahh...”

“Which naturally backfired. I think this is the most excitement this town has had in months.”

Jess chuckled. “So there’s no mystery man?”

“No mystery man. Come on, it was you I went to see on Saturday.”

“Guess that makes me your mystery man...” Jess smirked.

“I...” Rose just pulled an affronted face at him. She sighed and looked out across the smooth waters. “This town is crazy.”

“You keep telling me that.”

“But it is! I just- I don’t get what is so wrong about respecting a person's privacy! Why does my dating life need to be anyone’s business – let alone front page news?!”

Jess shrugged. “They've always been like that. I think just about everyone had something to say when Rory and I started dating...”

Rose sighed through her nose and nodded slowly. “She only started dating you after Dean dumped her right?”

“Yeah?” Jess looked at her curiously.

"And…Your mum just sent you here right – the first time. You didn’t have a say in it?"

"Yeah.” He looked away across the water. “She couldn't 'handle me'. Why?” He flicked his eyes back to Rose. “What are you thinking?"

"I... well...” She bit her lip.

"Come on Cooper, spit it out."

"Okay... Look, this is not remotely my place to say this, so stop me if I offend - at all. Please. But... no one really put you first? Your mom, even Rory.” She watched him carefully as she spoke, but he kept an impassive face up as he looked across the water. “I just - it makes sense of some of the stories people said when I first came here, about you acting out as a teenager. You were angry - and after the attention you deserved."

"Oh wow, you're a therapist now, huh?" He shot back.

"No! No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, forget I said anything."

"No," he sighed. "You're right really."

There was a moment of silence between them, filled only with the gentle noise of the water lapping at the posts of the bridge.

"Hey, Jess, I – I know its not much, but I want you to know you're my favourite person in this town. And you're my friend, and my friends mean everything to me, and I... I choose you, you know? I like you, a whole lot. And I actively want to be around you. I - you know, that's really why I came to the diner so often. I don't actually care that much about coffee.”

"You like me, huh?” Jess smiled at her. “Now you are getting sappy on me. I didn’t think you brits did expressions of emotion."

Rose blushed. "Only when I think you need to hear it."

Jess cleared his throat. “While we’re on the subject of exes – why did you start seeing the last one-"

“Tom"

“Tom. Why did you start seeing Tom if you knew you only had a few months together?” He looked at her steadily.

Rose shrugged. “I always figure you've gotta enjoy the present as it comes. Leave the future to figure itself out – if you can.” She grinned self-deprecatingly. Jess raised a sceptical eyebrow at the anxious overthinker. “If you have a great time together, then have it. Everything ends someday, I guess. I...” She laughed. “it’s like your friend Jeff said, I guess. Now is now.”

Jess nodded. “That guy is too wise for his own good.”

Rose laughed. “He is?”

“Yeah.”

There was a momentary lull as they both looked away from each other across the water.

Rose turned back to Jess. "Why did you come back? I thought you were only passing through for a couple of weeks."  
  
"Plans change.” Jess shrugged. “Why'd you come to New York?" He shot back.  
  
"Well I missed all that prime diner time when I was sick...” Rose paused, blushed, and looked away across the river. “To see you. I came to see you.”

Jess stared at her intently as she avoided looking at him, focusing on the toe of her boot that she kicked out in front of her.

"I like you too, you know." He said.

She glanced up at him and grinned. “I'm really glad we got that sorted out, cause you know, I was really starting to worry there -"

Jess leaned in and pressed his mouth to Rose’s, cutting her off mid sentence. The surprise froze her for a moment, before she relaxed into the kiss. His mouth was soft, warm. She leaned forwards into it as he gently raised one hand up to cup her cheek, with a gentle touch that made her skin tingle.

After a few moments that felt like an eternity, Rose pulled away to catch her breath. Jess leant back a little, almost surprised. Rose looked at him and smiled, a huge, genuine smile, like a beam of warm sunshine catching her face. Jess couldn’t help but smile back.

“What’s so funny Cooper?” He whispered, leaning back in towards her.

“You have no idea how much I wanted you to do that.” She whispered back.

“I’d guess about as much as I wanted to do it.” He replied, closing the distance between them as they both smiled into the kiss.

This time his hands found her waist, and gently guided her backwards until she was lying down, the worn wood of the bridge warm beneath her back. Jess was a comforting weight on top of her, hands gently roaming her sides as he deepened the kiss. She wound her fingers through the curls at the back of his head.

A little while later found them lying side by side in the sunshine. Her head was resting on his forearm, her hands idly playing with his left one, lacing and unlacing their fingers.

“How long are you staying?” She asked softly.

“Well I’ve got until the end of august...” He smiled.

“What about your travelling?”

“I can do that another time. I've found something here I’d like to explore.”

She laughed and wrinkled her nose. “Cheesy, Mariano.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for making it super obvious that I'm team Jess-shouldn't-be-team-Rory


	8. Most People Make Me Nervous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit Content Ahead! 
> 
> First times with new people are awkward. But they're adults. Gilmore girls isn't exactly a sex-positive show, but that doesn't mean the fandom can't be. I tried to make this as explicitly consensual as possible because no one wants a repeat of That Scene.

It was a confused Rose who exited her building and walked through the quiet streets of Stars Hollow on her way to work the next morning. She was fairly certain she ought to be feeling bad. In one moment of sharp-tongued madness, she’d quite possibly axed her chances of integrating into the strange little town. She ought to be feeling contrite, anxious, desperate for an opportunity to apologise to Miss Patty and attempt to patch things up.

But she wasn’t. Not remotely.

Rose’s insides were crammed full of a thousand butterflies, performing an elaborate and chaotic acrobatics routine. Try as she might to bite her lips, there was nothing she could to wipe the grin off her face. She was happy. Truly, seriously, really happy. For the first time since she had moved stateside, the bright bubble of joy inside her chest overpowered the dull ache of homesickness.

Rose could barely keep up with how fast things had moved. She'd been to New York – it felt as far away as a dream now – standing beside Jess in the middle of the night, every single fibre of her being aware of how undeniably deeply she'd grown to care about him. And then back in Stars Hollow. Yesterday – yesterday she'd been wondering if she’d ever see him again. And then all of a sudden, there he was, and then he kissed her. Now? Now he was planning to staying for the whole summer – months, two whole months together, before they had to figure anything out. Together. Really together.

Rose’s head was sky high in the clouds all day. She couldn’t help but smile at every snippy comment Betty made. Even when she had to re-do an hour’s worth of work, files mislabelled and miscategorised by her airy brain.

At five o’clock she positively ran out of the archives. Jess had agreed to work in the diner as long as he was in town, in return for his uncle putting him up in his flat upstairs.

Rose did her best to brush off the few cold stares she got from passers-by. Of course news had spread of yesterday’s outburst. She’d expected it would. What she had not expected was Taylor Doose, market owner and landlord, hurrying down the street towards her.

“Miss Cooper! Miss Cooper!”

Rose froze in her tracks. There was no way out of this one. She could see the windows of Luke’s diner just down the street, growing slowly further and further away.

“Miss Cooper I must speak to you about your performance yesterday.” He sounded like a head teacher, preparing to give a miscreant school kid a lecture. Rose groaned inwardly. “I understand you are still new to our ways of doing things in Stars Hollow. But Miss Patty is a valued member of our community – if a little too nosy at times – and we will not stand to see her spoken to in such a manner.”

Rose nodded slowly, and bit her tongue. Talking back had never done her any good.

“I think it is natural that the town takes an interest in you, as a new member of our community. Your response was unnecessarily rude.”

She’d promised Jess she’d be there as soon as she got out of work. He was probably waiting for her...

“Miss Cooper? What do you have to say for yourself?”

Rose took a deep breath. Principles be damned. This was not a battle she wished to keep on fighting. She still had 11 months yet in this town. It was better to keep the peace and work on trying to brush off the claustrophobia of the small-town world.

“I’m really sorry, Mr Doose. I wasn’t feeling well when Miss Patty spoke to me and my temper was unusually short. I promise I never meant to offend her, and I wont let it happen again.” Yeah right.

“Very well. I’m glad to hear it. We all have moments out of turn. I’m certain Miss Patty will forgive you.”

Rose smiled obligingly. “Thank you. I actually have to run now, sorry, bye!” She said as she started to drift down the street away from him, speeding up as the distance between them increased. Taylor waved goodbye before turning on into his store. As Rose turned back to face the street before her, she hoped to the bottom of her churning guts that the small-town rumour mill would run her apology around fast and put an end to the whole business.

Jess was working when she reached the diner. She could see him through the windows, moving between the tables with a jug of coffee in hand. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, the tousled dark curls, the bicep flexing beneath his t shirt sleeve as he refilled a mug. Bracing herself against the nervous joy that threatened to scatter her into a million unusable pieces, she pushed open the door with its familiar ring, and stepped inside.

He looked up as the door opened, a quick smile breaking onto his face at the sight of her.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He took a step towards her, and her insides immediately froze in panic. He was going to kiss her. Was he going to kiss her? Were they doing this now? Publicly? Yesterday had been so easy. It felt right, completely right, just the two of them in a world of their own. And while Rose was not about to deny the fact that all she wanted to do upon seeing Jess was return to kissing him, her recent brush with the Stars Hollow rumour mill made the busy space of the diner suddenly seem like a too-brightly-lit stage. And every pair of eyes in the room was on them.

They weren’t of course. Luke had looked up to smile and nod a hello in Rose’s direction, and Lorelai had twisted on her seat at the bar to follow his gaze. Everyone else remained focused on their conversations and coffee cups.

“Hi.” Jess said again, still standing there smiling at her.

“Hi.” Rose echoed.

They stood there for another moment, eyes locked, smiles so wide their cheeks began to ache. Rose felt a desire to laugh at the whole situation bubble up from her stomach.

“I… Your usual table is free.” Jess managed to say.

“Thanks.” Rose felt her shoulders shake with the quiet laughter. Yesterday had been so easy, strolling home in the evening light hand in hand. And now they were like dumb teenagers all of a sudden, tripping around each other tentatively like they had in New York. “I’ll… go sit there.”

He nodded. “I’ll be right over.”

Rose bit her lip and tore her eyes away to navigate the maze of chairs. She couldn’t keep the smile off her cheeks. She glanced back over her shoulder at him, as he moved towards the counter, and they caught each others eyes and smiled again.

Then Rose’s legs hit something hard and all of a sudden she was crashing into a chair at someone else’s table. They glared and she muttered a sheepish apology, before moving swiftly around it and sinking with some relief into an empty seat in her favourite corner. Jess appeared a moment later, coffee mug in hand, laughter in his eyes.

“You okay there, Cooper?”

Rose laughed at herself and hid her eyes behind a hand. “Spatial awareness is not my strong point.”

“Evidently.” Jess put the cup down on the table with a clink and filled it from the jug in his other hand. “I’ve got a couple of tables to wipe down but then I’m on my break.”

Rose smiled at him. “Take your time. I’m going nowhere.”

“That’s probably for the best.” Jess grinned.

“Hi.” Jess said, pulling out a chair and sitting down at Rose’s table. His knees bumped her’s, and she fought the smile that threatened to burst at the sudden contact.

“Hi!” She grinned at him. “Are you free tonight?”

“Yeah?” Jess grinned back at her.

"Great.” She smiled and let all the words trip off her tongue as fast as she could get them out. “I was thinking we could go get dinner together… as a date.”

“A date.” Jess replied more slowly, his dark brown eyes staring into her, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Yes a date.” She nodded, biting her lip out of old nervous habit.

"Okay. Should we brave Hartford again, or risk something in madland here?”

“Lets go Hartford.” Rose nods.

“Okay, and maybe we can grab ice cream on the way back.”

"Sure." She grins. "Its a date."

They agreed to meet outside the diner later that evening, after Jess had finished his shift in the diner and Rose had gone home to change. Unstoppably early to everything, she was already stood, caught under the yellow light of the streetlamps, alone against the dark street, when Jess stepped out of the front door.

There was something almost ethereal about her, hair burnished to a soft gold by the yellow light. She’d left it down, spilling across her shoulders. On her feet were her trusty brown Dr Martens, and Jess realised he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her wear any other pair of shoes. She was wearing a black pair of trousers, belted at the waist, and a loose blouse that skimmed almost indecently low across her chest. Jess swallowed thickly, forcing his eyes away from the pale skin that shone under the streetlamp.

He was pulling on his denim jacket when he stepped out, tugging the door closed behind him. His curls had been pushed up off his forehead. Rose caught a brief glimpse of a dark grey band shirt that clung to his chest, and a pair of black jeans that fit him a little better than they should have. A blush was rising on her cheeks as he came over to her.

There was a pause of a heartbeat as they stood and smiled at each other. Rose stepped forward quickly and pressed a kiss to his lips. She could feel Jess smile against her, and then they melted into it, one hand holding her waist to him, another coming up to cup her cheek softly. Her hands lay squarely on his chest. She could feel his heart beating softly through the worn denim of his coat as their mouths melded, noses pressed together.

When they pulled apart to breathe, Rose felt light-headed, her heart racing. He looked as star-struck as she felt, as they stood together, bodies still close, her hands still on his chest, his arm still holding her waist.

“Hi.” They both breathed at once, smiles breaking out onto their faces.

“I… dinner.” Rose attempted to say.

Jess nodded slowly. “Yes. We should get that.”

Rose took a breath and stepped back before he could kiss her again. Dinner. Date. They had a plan. They should… go with it. Go to dinner.

“Shall we?” Jess motioned in the direction of his car.

“Sure.” She replied, taking another deep breath. She burrowed her hands deep into the pockets of her trousers, and willed her heartbeat to steady. She felt light headed, star struck, and slightly bouncy all at once, as if her brain had turned to air and the rest of her body was slowly following suit, gradually becoming entirely weightless. Jess studied her for a moment as they walked alongside each other around the corner.

"You're nervous."

"Uh... yes?" She glanced at him briefly.

"I'm making you nervous." He grinned.

"Well, I mean, this is a first date. Most people make me nervous. You're not special."

"I'm making you nervous."

"Oh shut up." She shot at him as they came to the car.

They wound up in a funky little restaurant in the college district of Hartford, knees knocking under the table as always. The nerves eased up as they settled into each other’s company, the usual banter creeping back into the conversation, aided by the drinks on the table before them.

"Alright, favourite film?" Rose smiled, her fork paused in mid-air.

“What is this, twenty questions?!” Jess shot back.

“Come on. It’s a first date. We’ve gotta get to know each other.”

"Fine. Almost Famous."

"Ahh, good, good film.” Rose jumped slightly as Jess shifted his legs beneath the table, brushing against her’s. “I love films about music - music documentaries, music dramas. Not musicals so much -"

"Right.” Jess nodded in agreement.

"Right, yeah, but the films - so good. Have you seen Good Vibrations?"

"I don't think I have."

"Oh you'd love it! It's about the development of the Belfast Punk scene and the discovery of bands like The Undertones."

“Sounds good.”

“It so is. We have to watch it sometime.”

“Maybe on our next date?”

Rose bit her lip. “Alright. On our next date.”

They fell to discussing books again, hours later, as they strolled through the darkened streets of Stars Hollow. Jess had parked his car in its usual spot, and they’d started to walk initially in the direction of Rose’s flat. Neither had wanted to go home, to end the night just yet. The street before her’s, Rose had impulsively laced her fingers through Jess’s, and dragged him off down another street to take a longer route. He’d laughed and held onto her hand, refusing to relinquish it as they charted their new course. Rose let her mouth run, rambling about everything and nothing.

"–and Jane Austen, of course."

"Of course you're an Austen fan." Jess laughed.

"What can I say? She's a comedic genius, proto feminist, and she writes a damn good romance!"

Jess nodded in agreement. "She _was_ good at satire."

"You've read Jane Austen?" Rose looked at him with admiration and surprise written across her features.

“Yeah, of course I have.” He laughed at her.

“And here I thought only the Beats existed in your world.” She teased him.

“What can I say…” Jess shrugged. “I think Austen would have liked Bukowski.”

Rose shook her head and laughed. “I take it back.”

Despite her best efforts, they eventually came to her street, and before Rose could come up with a single solution, the front door of her building. They gradually slowed to a stop, standing there in the middle of the sidewalk hand in hand. Rose stared hard at her door, almost wishing it to disappear.

“Rose…” Jess said softly, pulling on her hand, and she turned to look at him. Her blue eyes were wide, and she could feel something rising in her chest. There was a soft smile on his face as he looked at her, eyes dark. A small smile crept onto her cheeks. He leaned in towards her slowly and caught her mouth with his. It was a soft kiss, gentle, soft lips slowly moving together. Rose’s hands found their way to his shoulders, and up past the collar of his coat to the short curls at the top of his neck. Jess’s hands slid round her waist to the small of her back, and drew her closer to him, their bodies pressed together. The kiss grew in passion as it grew in length. 

“Hey! Get a room!” A voice yelled, cutting through the quiet streets as a car drove past and pulled off into the next lane. Rose and Jess pulled apart clumsily, faces flushed.

“I.. uh,” Rose mumbled.

Jess smiled. “I should probably say goodnight, right?”

Rose looked at him for a moment. She’d made the tousled mess of his hair worse by running her hands through it, rumpled the front of his t shirt. He was looking at her expectantly, one eyebrow raised, his hand still resting on her elbow.

“No.” She breathed. “Stay. Come up.”

His chest rose and fell with a breath. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She replied, stepping back towards him and kissing him again.

They stumbled up her staircase, giddy and lightheaded. Jess caught Rose around her waist on the landing, pulled her in for another kiss. Laughing, she pushed him off a moment later. “Come on!” She whispered. “Save it.”

She let go of his hand to fumble with the lock on her apartment door. Jess slid his hands around her waist again, and his warm breath on her bare neck sent electricity tingling down her spine. Rose could barely keep her focus on the key in her hands, stubbornly resisting turning in the lock. It gave all at once, suddenly, and the door swung open in front of them into her little studio apartment. They tumbled into it, and Rose kicked the door shut behind them, before dropping her bags and keys on the floor where she stood.

They came together again immediately, bodies pressed flush against each other. Jess’s hands roamed her back, while Rose slid her’s under the front of his coat and coaxed it off his shoulders. It dropped to the floor with a soft thud. Jess brought his hands back up to cup either side of face, her cheeks soft beneath the calloused pads of his hands, as they continued to kiss. Rose ran her hands over the expanse of his back, muscles solid and warm beneath the soft t shirt. He brushed the hair on her shoulders back and moved his mouth down to kiss his way down the pale skin of her neck. Rose sighed involuntarily.

“You know,” She breathed. “This is only –“ another sigh escaped her –“ ‘cause you like Jane Austen”.

Jess moved back up to look at her, both faces flushed and eyes starry. He laughed as he pressed another kiss to her lips. “Sure it is”.

Bodies still pressed together, Jess began to push Rose slowly backwards. They stepped together, clumsily, crossing the small space to the foot of Rose’s bed. His hands on her waist guided her slowly down onto the bed. They continued to kiss deeply as Jess climbed on top of her, his body pressing her into the mattress. A strong arm wound its way around her waist and shifted her further up the bed in one smooth move.

Jess again moved down to kissing her neck, pressing with a force Rose knew would leave marks. She wound her fingers into his hair, his head hot beneath her palm. One hand rested on the bed beside her to support his weight, his other hand roamed her body, running down her side over her blouse. The fabric pulled, revealing more of the delicate white skin on her chest, framed by a sliver of a black lace bra. Jess pressed a single kiss to the centre of her chest, above the v of her top.

His hand paused on her belt buckle. He pushed himself up slightly and looked up at her. “Can I?”

She looked back at him for a heartbeat, her hand still tangled at the back of his head. “Yes.”

After a little fiddling, he undid the belt, and his hand pulled the hem of her blouse up before sliding up beneath it. She laughed, involuntarily, as the gentle touch tickled. Jess stopped kissing his way down her neck, and propped himself up to look down at her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yes.” She breathed. “Just ticklish.”

He grinned. “I'll remember that for later. You’re okay with me doing this though?”

“Yes. Please.” She looked up at him. “As long as you’re okay doing it?”

Jess nodded. “I am.”

They smiled into a deep kiss and his hands returned to feeling their way up her ribcage to the base of her bra, where they paused again.

“Can I?”

“Yes.” She breathed.

The same hands that skilfully undid her belt made swift work of Rose’s bra.

“You’re good.” She whispered into his mouth between kisses. She could feel the corners of Jess’s mouth quirk upwards in a smile against her cheeks.

“Just you wait Cooper.”

His hand slipped up under her bra, cupping the soft skin of her breast. He ran his thumb over her nipple and the breath hitched in her throat. Jess propped himself up and looked down at her, watching her mouth fall slightly ajar as each breath caused her chest to rise and fall beneath his hand.

“Jess...” She said softly, looking into his eyes as he hovered above her, his thumb slowly rubbing circles across the sensitive skin. “Are we going to have sex tonight?”

His thumb paused, and he looked down at her for a moment in silence. “Only if you want to.”

“I want to.” She said. “If… you do too.”

“Oh, I do.” He grinned.

“Okay.” She smiled. “Then it’s your turn.”

Rose ran her hands down Jess’s back to the hem of his t shirt, and slipped her thumbs under it, brushing gently against his warm skin as she pushed it up and up and up. Jess pulled his hand out from under her top and grabbed the collar of the shirt, helping her pull it off over his head and throw it across the room. He put his hand down on the other side of her, holding himself above her. Rose ran her hands across his body, smoothing across his shoulders and sliding down, delicately, across the golden skin of his chest, his heart racing beneath her palm. A dark trail of hair ran down from his bellybutton and disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans, where her hands paused.

“Okay?” She asked, looking back up to meet his eyes.

“Yes.” He smiled.

Rose fumbled briefly with the button before opening his jeans up, and then pushing them down from his waist. Jess kicked them off over the edge of the bed.

Down to his underpants now, Jess turned his attention to Rose. Gently insistent hands slid her trousers down over her hips, Jess pressing a kiss to the soft skin just below her bellybutton. She tried to kick them off, getting tangled around her ankles until Jess tugged them off, dropping them off the bed. He moved back up, hands sliding beneath the blouse again and guiding it up over her head. The open bra came off swiftly after that, joining the rest of their apparel in the void that lay beyond the confines of the bed.

And then they were pressed together again, closer than before, not a hairs breadth between them. Fevered skin pushed against fevered skin. The kisses grew more desperate, more insistent. Their hands roamed the expanses of each other's bodies, skin smooth and burning beneath their touch. Rose felt Jess’s hand still at the elastic of her underpants. She could feel his erection pressing into her thigh through his boxers.

“Do you have a condom?” She asked breathlessly.

“Yes.” Jess sat up for a moment, cool air trailing against Rose’s body at the absence of his touch. He dived over the edge of the bed and rummaged in the pockets of his discarded jeans. Rose propped herself up on her elbows to watch him, muscles flexing in his back as he leant down. He came back up a moment later with the small packet in hand.

“Okay?” He asked.

“Okay.” She said, lying back against the bed.

Jess slid her underpants down, fingertips brushing gently against her skin, past her knees, over her ankles, and right off. He kicked off his own, before slipping the condom on. With a little fumbling, bodies yet new terrain for each other, they arranged their limbs in position.

“Okay?” He asked again.

“Yes.” She breathed.

Jess slipped first one finger and then a second inside her.

“You’re wet.” He whispered.

Rose couldn’t help the short giggle that escaped her. “I should hope so.”

Jess slipped his fingers out again and then, with a gentle thrust, pushed himself inside her. They lay there for a moment, looking at each other. Rose put a hand on the back of Jess’s neck, damp with the heat between them, and pulled him down into a wet, wide open kiss.

Jess began to rock his hips against hers, slowly thrusting further inside her. Rose began to move with him, her hands clutching at the muscles rolling beneath his bare and burning back. They fell into a rhythm, bodies moving in unison. The tempo increased as the pressure built, muscles beginning to tense as Jess thrust further into Rose.

He came all of a sudden, a low guttural moan forced from his lips as his body spasmed and released on top of her. They stayed there for a second, fevered limbs still intertwined, Rose panting softly beneath him. Gently Jess slid out of her and disposed of the condom.

Jess pushed himself up and looked down at her as she lay there, looking at him with a soft expression. They smiled at each other.

“Okay?” He asked.

“Okay.” She whispered.

Jess rolled off her and lay beside her, breathing heavily. Rose took a deep breath, in, and out. Her heart was thudding heavily in her chest.

“Your turn.” Jess said, propping himself up on one elbow beside her. His dark eyes traced the length of her body, delicately milky skin laid bare as she lay on her back looking up at him.

“My turn?” Rose raised an eyebrow and grinned at him.

Jess pressed his mouth to her's in reply and they sank into a deep kiss. Rose tangled one hand back into his hair, the other resting on the burning skin of his back. Slowly Jess moved across, pressing wet kisses along her jaw line and down the sensitive skin of her neck. He paused just above her collarbone to suck a delicate bruise onto her pale skin. Shifting further down still, Jess caught one nipple in his mouth and fiddled with it tantalizingly. Rose felt as if she was being wound up, the pressure between her legs growing.

Jess trailed kisses down the centre of her abdomen, over her stomach, and at last descended between her legs. His curls tickled the tender skin where they brushed the insides of her thighs. His tongue moved over her clit, and Rose couldn’t help the way her body twitched, the way the hand she had raked through his hair clenched as if to hold on. Jess kept going and going, and the pressure inside her built and built and built until it took over, entirely, and she came, back arching off the mattress.

They stayed together, climbing into bed later that night wearing only their underpants, bare limbs tangled together. Rose woke up once during the night, briefly in the early hours of the morning. She felt the mattress dip beside her as Jess lifted the covers and climbed in. His arms were cold to the touch, as if he’d been standing at the open window for quite a while. Half asleep, half conscious, Rose shifted closer to him and draped an arm over his body, nestling her head into his chest. She was asleep again in seconds, too fast to catch the tender smile on Jess’s face as he gently stroked a stray piece of hair off her cheek.

When she woke, in the morning, she was facing the wall. Jess’s arm lay heavy across her side, and she could feel his body pressed close to her back, curled into her. She smiled in amusement. How the hell had they managed to stay like that all night? Rose knew she was a wriggler, too many former sleepovers complaining of stolen covers and a lack of space.

Running through the ingredients in her head, Rose decided she had enough things in to make them pancakes for breakfast. Seeing as she was awake already, she figured she’d get up and start making the batter now. It could always rest in the fridge until Jess woke up.

When Rose attempted to shift slightly, to see if she could slide out from under his arm without waking him, she discovered why they'd not shifted apart during the night. Jess’s arm instinctively tightened around her waist at the movement, holding her close. She twisted to look over her shoulder at him and found him still fast asleep. When she shifted again, he held on tighter. Smiling, she conceded defeat. The pancakes could wait. This one was evidently a cuddly sleeper and she was just going to have to wait until he woke up to move.

Half an hour or so later, a soft groan and slight shifting behind her announced Jess’s return to the waking world.

“Hey Handsome.” Rose said, a soft smile on her face as she twisted over her shoulder to look at Jess. He snorted into the space between her shoulder blades in response, before relinquishing his grip on her waist and rolling over away from her.

“Cheesy.” He mumbled, voice thick with sleep as he lay an arm across his eyes just like he had done in New York.

Rose smiled at him. “So you can be cheesy and I can’t? Excuse me Mr. I’ve-found-something-here-I-want-to-explore.”

Jess lifted his arm and cracked one eye far enough open to glare at her. Rose chuckled, before sitting up and kicking her legs out over the side of the bed.

“You fancy pancakes for breakfast?” She asked over her shoulder as she stood up, and yawned, reaching into the tangle of clothing they’d left strewn across the floor. She pulled on the first t shirt she came across, looking down in sleepy surprise at the soft grey fabric. “The Clash. Good Choice.”

Jess lifted his head up from the pillow and blinked at her. “That’s my shirt.”

“So it is. Nice shirt.” Rose wandered off into her kitchen, bare legs long beneath the hem of the t shirt.

Jess groaned and dragged himself up off the bed. “If you’re wearing my shirt, what am I going to wear?” He asked, watching her move about in the kitchenette on the other side of the small studio.

“Well I’ve got some nice dresses in the closet…” She smiled, measuring soft white flour out into a mixing bowl. “Or,” she glanced up at him, “you could also just go around like that all day. I wouldn’t complain.”

Jess snorted in amusement. “Okay Cooper.” He came up close behind her and wound his arms around her waist, breath warm and tickling her neck. “Only if you stay in my shirt and nothing else all day.”

Rose laughed. “I think Stars Hollow might have a collective fit if I tried. Public decency laws and all that… Could you imagine Taylor’s face?!”

“Only if we went out…” Jess replied, pressing a kiss beneath Rose’s ear, and then another just below that. “We could just spend all day in bed.”

Rose smiled. Her entire spine tingled as Jess continued to work his way down towards the neckline of his t shirt. “No breakfast?!” She said, with mock affront.

Jess turned her around to face him with strong hands on her hips. The breath caught in her throat.

“Breakfast can wait.”


	9. Homesick

They’d been seeing each other for a week and a half. A steady routine was emerging, seeing each other every day in the diner at breaks, alternating dinners.   
Jess had been sleeping over more nights than not. He claimed her bed was comfier than the single he was on at Luke’s. Rose laughed, but she didn’t mind. She was starting to get used to him being there, to the feel of him shifting about beside her at four in the morning. To waking up to his arm anchored around her waist when she’d stolen the duvet again and left him cold. 

  
In truth, she liked having him there. The tiny flat wasn’t so suffocatingly silent with him in it, music playing while she cooked them dinner. She no longer felt as crushingly alone as she had when she’d first moved in, falling asleep with her head against his shoulder. The dull ache of homesickness, her ever-present companion, was finally beginning to quiet down and recede as she started to find she had a place there, in Stars Hollow, with Jess. 

  
Jess was still working every day in Luke’s diner. A few faces had questioned why he was still hanging around, his teenage reputation still alive and kicking. But Jess seemed to just shrug it off. Other people’s opinions weren’t a major concern to him. And, in time, they'd shut up and stop asking. Hell, the rumour mill had quieted down on the subject of their relationship faster than Rose had expected. She was certain word would have leaked, their hands held on the table top of the diner giving the game away as much as Luke’s teasing. Everyone seemed to be giving them a chance for the time being. That, or the memory of Rose’s snap at Miss Patty deterring them from open comment.

Jess came over, five o’clock in the diner, to find Lane and Rose talking Proms.

“You guys were so cute.” Rose said, looking at Lane's pictures.

She shrugged. “Yeah well...”

“Things happen.” Rose sent her an understanding smile.

“Did you go to your prom?”

“Oh yeah! Yeah I did.”

“Wait they had those on your side of the pond?” Jess interjected, sitting down beside his girlfriend and draping an arm across the back of her chair.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Yeah they did. And yes I went. Solo though, but the whole prom date thing wasn’t huge in my school.”

“What was your dress like?!” Lane squealed.

“Oh, I made it actually. It was kind of vintage inspired, tulle skirt, little bodice. A sort of pastel blue.”

“Oh that’s so cute!”

“Solo in a home made dress? Gee Cooper you were a real Andie Walsh. Kiss any Blaine's afterwards?”

Rose laughed. “Not even any Duckies. Just danced with my friends and then went home after.”

Jess stuck out his bottom lip. “Poor little Rose, no prince charming.”

She swatted at his arm. “Cut it out. I bet you didn’t even go to yours.”

“He’d left town before he could.” Lane's comment slipped out before she could stop it. “Oh - I'm sorry.”

Jess just shrugged. “Not really my thing anyway, dancing and chaperones and punch bowls.”

“Right.” Rose laughed. “Just an antiquated mating ritual.”

“Precisely Kat Stratford.”

“Not sure I’m kickass enough to be Kat Stratford... I mean, can you really see me kneeing a guy in the balls?”

“I don’t know Cooper, I reckon you've got a dark side...”

“A dark side? I think it’s an angry side required here.”

“Well I’ve heard about what you did to poor miss Patty...” Jess laughed.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Not this again. I bet you fancy yourself a real Patrick Verona, huh?”

Jess laughed. “Come on with these curls? I could so be Heath Ledger.”

Rose laughed. “But there’s just one problem, she likes pretty guys!”

“Are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy?!” Jess demanded in mock affront.

Rose laughed harder. “Oh yeah you’re a real pretty guy. “

Jess leaned in and kisses her. Lane pulled a face of disgust and got up from the table.

“Well that’s probably my break over anyway. I’ll leave you two to it.”

Rose turned her head, escaping Jess, still laughing. “I'm sorry! See you soon!”

Five pm, Rose stepped out of the archives into a warm summer evening. The weather had been growing hotter over the last couple of weeks, and Rose had been glad of the plug in fan she’d found stuffed in the utility cupboard of her apartment.

This evening as she followed her usual route across town, Rose’s thoughts were on a certain envelope tucked inside her bag. Her photos from New York had finally come back. She’d picked them up on her way to work that morning, and flicked through them on her lunch break later in the day. Most were, she thought, fairly standard in quality. Skyscrapers soaring in brutal black and white lines, anonymous faces clustered on streets. There were two however, she loved. The first was the first one she’d taken of Jess. The beam of light caught the edge of his cheekbone, a curl of hair, burned them bright against the dark buildings behind. The second she’d taken when they were sat in the park together in the soft evening light. She’d caught him unawares that time, laughing with his head tipped back at the antics of a drunk further down the path.

The sharp trill of her phone ringing brought Rose’s thoughts back to earth, and she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to fumble in her bag for it. The display read a number she did not recognise, not saved as a contact. Confused, she pressed accept and raised it to her ear.

“Rose!” A familiar, albeit slightly slurred, voice yelled down the line.

“...Tom?”

“Rose! Hi!” Behind him was the chaotic raucous of a bar, suddenly damped by a closed door leaving the quiet of a night-time street. “You answered.”

“Uh, yes. What – where are you?”

“I dunno... some bar in Soho. Was out with the lads... thought I’d call you, check in.”

“You thought you’d call me and check in?” Rose parroted in disbelief. His voice gave away how drunk he was. What the hell was he doing calling her?

“Yeah! How's life in the Great United States of America?”

“Fine.” Rose replied tersely.

“Fine... fine... is it really fine? You don’t still hate it?” Tom’s voice dropped to a mumble. She could just picture him, incoherently inebriated, leaning against a wall to keep himself upright. He'd always been a heavy drinker, even in their Edinburgh days.

“What is this about Tom?” She asked bluntly.

“I miss you.”

There it was. She’d known it was coming, shoulders tensed.

Rose sighed. “Okay.”

“I wish we’d never…” He began, trailing off.

Rose stayed silent for a moment. How the hell was she supposed to handle this? He'd barely listened to sense sober, and never drunk, never this drunk. “What do you want Tom? Should I call one of your friends, get them to take you home?”

“No! No! I’ms fine... fine... I just... I missed you. I missed talking to you. I want to – maybe we could give this... give us another shot. Or at least stay in touch or something…”

“It’s been a month Tom.” She chided him gently. “Five weeks actually.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I just... I really miss you.“

“Couldn’t get any of the London girls to date you?” The sharp comment slipped off Rose’s tongue before she could stop it.

“Ouch. Ha. Ha. You were always so funny Rose.”

“Tom...”

“No, no, you’re right. You’re better than the London girls... too stuck up...”

“Tom don’t do this.”

“I want you back. Come back. Come back to me. Hey – I know! Get on a plane. Come home. You can live with me. I make enough money, you can stay in my flat, you wouldn’t even have to work or anything!”

“What the fuck?”

“Is that a yes?”

“No! No. Jesus Christ Tom. You can’t just do that – can’t just ask me that. You’re plastered for fucks sake. Can you even walk right now?”

“I... I can walk. Here – shit. Oopsie. There was a curb there. But I can walk. I can.”

Rose ran a hand over her forehead. She had to end this call, quick.

“Look, I've got to go. I'm sorry. I just – you can’t do this. You were the one who called us off remember? You can’t call me up five weeks later and change your mind.”

“You’ve moved on...?” Tom slurred down the phone. She could hear his heavy breathing, almost smell the alcohol.

“Yes I have. I’m seeing someone now.”

“Oh.” He paused. “What’s he like... or she?”

“He’s great.” Jess. Jess who made her laugh every day, who made the tiny town feel like a home. “But its none of your business now. We’re over. You ended this. And I think… that was the right move really. We probably couldn’t have sustained things long term. So… I’m very sorry that you miss me but its too late now. Its too late.”

At the other end of the line there was only heavy breathing.

“Tom? Tom?”

“Yeah... I... I heard you. You've got some all American guy... guy screwing you so you don’t need me anymore.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Okay, sure. Whatever. I’m going. Goodbye Tom. And- please don’t call again.”

“...Bye Rose.”

She hung up with a sharp beep, and turned her phone off before dropping into the depths of her bag. Her attention returned to the world around her. She found she’d been pacing back and forth in front of the diner's windows, in full view of the clientele. Jess was visible, hovering with a coffee jug in hand, eyes on her. Rose turned away, facing out to the street as a wave of anger rose up.

Why the hell did Tom think he could call her up like that?! And all that crap about missing her, and her coming back over to him. Rose tried to swallow down the ache in her throat as it closed up with rising tears. It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t just – he shouldn’t have.

She took a couple of deep shaky breaths to steady herself, trying to divert her mind from the call and the sickening feeling in her stomach. Jess was in there, behind her. Jess. She had to go in and see him.

When Rose turned back, he was still there, watching. She shot him a weak smile before heading in.

“Who was that?” Jess asked, coming over to meet her at the door, and giving her a quick kiss hello.

“Oh - just someone from home.” Rose did her best to keep her voice steady and bit down hard on her lip.

“Okay.” He looked at her for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” She smiled weakly. “Just tired. Is it okay if I go hide upstairs till you get off?”

“Sure. I'll be up as soon as I get a break.”

Rose nodded. “Okay.”

She briefly waved hello to Luke as she passed the counter before slipping off up the back stairs.

“What’s up with her?” Luke asked, as Jess returned to the counter having followed Rose across the room.

“Not sure.” Jess shrugged, his eyes still on the doorway Rose had disappeared into.

“You haven’t done anything have you?”

“No.”

Safely away from prying eyes, Rose headed straight to the tiny bathroom at the back of Luke’s flat and locked herself in. The tiles were cold beneath her as she sank to the floor. She couldn’t hold the hot tears back from sliding down her cheeks as her chest heaved with breaths she struggled to draw in. Tom. Tom. That asshole. Why the hell had he called. What could he have thought would come from that. And asking her to come back! As if she hadn’t dreamed, night after night, of him calling her and asking her to do that. When Jess had just been a face in the diner, and her flat had been empty and lonely, the town foreign. But now – now there was Jess, and the makings of a life here. She couldn’t just drop him, drop it all, go running back across the ocean to a drunk asshole she didn’t even miss.

But she couldn’t deny the way just thinking about it made her ache to do exactly that. Just hearing Tom's voice had brought it all rushing back. Home. The cold winds that had whipped through the streets of Edinburgh. The smell of the street vendors down Grassmarket on a sunny day. The grey buildings towering over them. The lecture halls. The dusty books at the back of the library. Her friends – oh god, her friends. The voices she hadn’t heard in too long, the laughter, cackling as they rolled off that lumpy sofa in their dingy flat, empty bottles of cheap red out in front of them. The laughter. The laughter. All the jokes people just got. The sarcastic tones battered back and forth amongst everyone. None of Stars Hollow's habit of looking at her strangely until she shut her mouth.

And Tom too. Those months of hazy hectic stress. Late nights in the library scrambling to finish dissertations. The coffee he'd bring her. His voice, reassuring her they'd muddle through when she got too stressed to handle it, melted down there and then on the quiet streets as they walked home hand in hand. He missed her, and she didn’t miss him, not really. But she missed who they were together. Missed the sound of his clipped English voice. Missed the bright naivety of undergraduate life. Missed the hopeful dreams they'd tell each other about where they were going in life. The places they'd go when they graduated and finally escaped the prison of exams and deadlines. Stars Hollow wasn’t any of them.

Rose missed the person she had been, winter coat and bicycle laden with books. She missed fitting in, not forever sticking out like a sore thumb with her British accent and her British humour and her British manners in a town that was all American or nothing.

It all hit her like a freight train, square in the chest, knocking the wind out of her lungs. She’d thought she was doing better. She really had. The dull ache of homesickness had faded, shrunk slightly, become easier to live with, buried under the ins and outs of her new life. Buried under Jess.

Oh god, Jess. A new boyfriend in a new town. With his American literature and his American accent. But he was good. He made her head spin like Tom never had. It was easy, easy to put everything she had on Jess. Focus every waking thought on Jess, Jess, Jess, until she was too caught up in his dark curls to pay attention to the ache still knawing at her core.

But there it was, knawing, the covers thrown off by the sound of Tom slurring on the other end of the phone. She missed it – she missed everything about home, every single last thing. Right down to the litter on the street corners and the drunks yelling unintelligibly on their way home from the pubs. Given permission to run free at long last, the ache grew and grew and grew until it crept into every inch of her body, the bones in her arms aching with her heart for the one place in the world that she belonged.

And her heart twisted with poison a second later. Jess. Jess. Jess and his curls and his denim jacket and his books and those sad, sad eyes and that arm that held her close every night as if she were a life raft that might stop him from drowning in a past he wouldnt share. He was here, he was here, part of her life in this town she hated. The poison twisted in her heart. She was betraying him. The aching homesickness cried out for a life that didnt involve him. And she couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t battle it back down into the locked box in the corner. She couldn’t deny that every fibre of her body was aching with the need to go Home, go back a thousand miles across the ocean to the city she belonged in, the self she belonged in. Without him.

Rose was angry too. Fuck Tom. Fuck him, fuck him thinking that he could just call her up like this. Like she’d be sitting around aching with homesickness, waiting for him to call and put her pieces back together. Fuck him for making all the little moments of sunshine happiness she’d been putting together go dark. This was his fucking fault. She was doing well. She was. She was settling in to this batshit little town with it’s strange customs and foreign manners. She had Jess for fucks sake. He made her laugh, he made her smile, he made her heart skip a beat every other time he looked at her. Tom had no fucking right to just call her up and reopen all the old wounds and leave her sitting there, bleeding out.

But there she was. Nose running. Eyes running. Chest heaving against sobs, fighting for gasped breaths. Every inch of her ached for a far away home and a distant version of herself. For a time she couldn’t get back, couldn’t go back to, friends scattered after graduation. And her heart twisted and sickened for the boy she was supposedly giving everything, here, now, and the knowledge that she'd give it up – give him up – in a heartbeat if it meant that she could go back to the world where everything had fit, everything had made sense.

When Jess came up, half an hour later, he couldn’t see Rose anywhere. This wasn’t the first time she’d hid upstairs while he was working – but usually he'd find her curled up on the sofa with her nose in one of his books. Not just... vanished. She couldn’t have snuck out though, the only exit was down the stairs and past the counter where he'd been standing.

A quiet sob from behind the closed bathroom door gave her hiding place away. Not so okay after all... Jess crept over to the closed door and knocked gently.

“Rose...?” He asked softly.

There was a whispered ‘shit' and some hurried sniffiling from the other side of the door.

“Rose? Are you okay?”

“Uh - yeah! Yeah, uh, just give me a second, sorry.” Rose fumbled for more tissue, wiping at her cheeks.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jess asked again.

“Yeah, I am, I am, sorry, hold on.” As fast as she mopped the tears up, new ones fell. Her face was blotchy, eyes red in the mirror. There was no way she could hide this from him – if she could even hold the tears off long enough to face him.

“…Rose” He said softly to the door. “Can I come in?”

She wiped her face again and admitted defeat, reaching up to unlock the door and opening it to meet a worried face.

“I’m okay, really, I am.” She said quietly.

“You don’t look it.” Jess shot back.

Rose quirked him a half smile in response from her seat on the floor.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked gently, leaning his shoulder against the door frame.

Rose sighed shakily. “It was my ex on the phone.”

“Ah...”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not important.”

“Right, and you only cry about unimportant things?” Jess raised his eyebrow at her, before stepping into the bathroom and sitting down on the tiles beside her, their shoulders brushing.

Rose looked over at him. They were both very aware that this was the first time she’d cried in front of him – the first time either of them had cried.

“He …wanted us to get back together. Or back in touch. Or something like that.”

A shadow crossed Jess’s face.

“But I mean, its over.” Rose added quickly, looking away. “Its over. He dumped me – he was the one who ended it. And I don’t... You’re my boyfriend now.”

“I’m your boyfriend, am I?”

The sickening feeling in Rose’s gut intensified in a sharp twist. One thing, she pleaded in her mind, one thing at a fucking time. Not this, not now. If he didn’t want that label then what the fuck was he doing sleeping in her bed every night.

“Well I was certainly under the impression that you were.” She bit back.

Jess leaned his shoulder into her's like she’d done that night in New York.

“I'm teasing you, Cooper.” He said softly. “I'm your boyfriend.”

Rose exhaled and sank her head onto his shoulder, placing a hand over her face as the tears started to fall again. Jess pulled his arm out and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her closer into him. Her hair tickled the cheek he rested against the top of her head.

“Did you tell him about me?” Jess asked quietly.

“Yeah, yeah - I told him about you.” Rose’s voice sounded wet. “And I told him not to call again. Its okay, its all okay. I just – I don’t see why he had to. He dumped me five weeks ago. That’s over, Over over. I don’t get how he thought he could just call me up and expect me to be… I don’t know.”

Jess held her tighter, wrapping his other arm around her too. “What time is it over there?”

“I’m not sure – late. He was drunk.”

Jess snorted. “Drunk calling his ex. Classy move.”

Rose smiled briefly against his chest. The tears continued to fall, dripping off the end of her nose and seeping into a damp spot on his t shirt. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs. Jess shifted slightly above her, pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I miss home.” She mumbled into his shirt. If it was coming out, it might as well all come out, in a tumbling torrent of words. “I'm mad that he called because I miss home and he made it worse.”

Jess listened to her silently.

“I thought it was getting better – and it was, with you here, but then this damn phone call... it’s so stupid because I don’t even miss him anymore. I just... I miss me. I miss who I was back there. I miss fitting in. I miss people getting my jokes.”

“Hey, I get your jokes.” Jess said softly.

“Yeah but beyond you. I just... I’m so tired of sticking out. I’m tired of being foreign in foreign country with foreign customs and foreign manners. I miss my friends and our shitty apartment and our favourite coffee shop and the old library and, and...” Rose’s voice petered out briefly.

“I just, I really thought I was getting better. And now it’s bad again and I'm so gutwrenchingly homesick. I hate that he gets to just do that, just call me up out of the blue and open all this up again, like he isn’t living his dream life in London when I’m stuck here in this bat shit small town America. I’m trying – I’m trying so hard to live here, and be here but... but it’s really fucking hard when you’re the only thing I like about this place.”

Rose could feel the corners of Jess’s mouth move into a smile against the top of her head.

“I like you too, Cooper.” He said.

She smiled softly and exhaled deeply.

“I’m sorry – about all of that, about this.”

“Its okay.” He smiled. “My shirt will dry.”

Rose rolled her eyes and smiled a little wider.

“Would you go back?” Jess asked softly.

“Back?”

“Home. To Edinburgh.”

“I mean – I can’t. I'm tied into a contract with my job here, and the lease on my flat.”

“But if you could-"

“We graduated. My friends all left the city too. Someone else lives in our flat now. I- there’s nothing for me to go back to, not really.”

“But-"

“Are you asking if I’d leave you to go home?” Rose twisted to look up at Jess’s face.

“Well, you said you hated it here...”

Rose looked at him for a moment. “If either of us were in danger of bailing, I’d have thought it was you. You could get in your car tonight and go, if you wanted.”

“I don’t want to.” He replied, looking steadily at her.

Rose bit her lip and looked away.

“Do you?” He asked again.

She thought for a moment. “I can’t. So it doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah but do you want to?”

She looked back up at him. “Maybe. But only if I could take you with me.”

They relocated to the sofa a little later on, Jess’s arm still round her shoulders, Rose still cuddled into his chest.

“Oh! I forgot. I got my photos from New York back this morning.” Rose leapt up and found her bag, discarded across the room, and retrieved the envelope of prints. Climbing back into her boyfriend’s arms, she handed him the packet.

“Shit, Cooper.” Jess said, flicking through the prints. “You’re good.”

Rose shrugged. “Its just a hobby.”

“Seriously.” He looked up at her, admiration evident in his voice.

Rose smiled and blushed. “Well... hit me up when you need an author photo for your next book?”

“I think I’ve already got it.” He said, holding up the one of him looking away down the street.

They ate dinner with Luke that night, leftovers brought up from the diner. The call came up, though Rose brushed it off with a steady voice this time.

“He really just called you up like that?” Luke asked, surprise echoing in his voice.

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“Ah, its okay.” Rose shrugged. “I told him not to call again, you know. He’s gone. I tend to cut my exes out. Either you’re in my life, or you’re not. I mean I stay polite but I don’t remain friends or anything.”

“Yeah.” Luke nodded.

“But I’ve kinda always been like that – one to just leave things behind. Especially when they get sort of complicated like that. I don’t know that I could actually do that, being friends with an ex. I think I’d find all the what ifs hanging over us too heavy, you know?”

“No wonder you two get along.” Luke smiled. “Jess is known for just leaving too.”

“Hey!”

Rose chuckled. “Running away from problems is always too tempting.”

Jess shrugged. “I had a lot going on back then.”

“I always wanted to run away as a kid,” Rose smiled. “Hop the school fence and just take off.”

“Just watch out for him running away from you,” Luke warned her, half teasing his nephew.

Rose grinned. “Maybe we’ll run away together.”


	10. Ring Ring Ring

“Chinese? Or Pizza?” Rose asked, standing in her kitchenette with two takeout fliers in her hands.

Jess glanced up at her from the notebook he was writing in at her table. “Chinese.”

“Alright. Chinese it is.” Rose picked up her mobile and typed in the number. “The usual?”

“Yeah.” Jess replied, without taking his eyes off the page.

“Alright.” She smiled at him. He hadn’t said what it was that he had taken to scribbling about in the last couple of days, but she suspected it might be the beginnings of a second book. Luke mentioned Jess had been at it every break he got, when he was unusually late in appearing to meet her in the diner the day before.

“Hi? Yes, I'd like to order-" Rose stepped out of the flat and into the hallway so as not to disturb him while she made the call.

When Rose came back in, the notebook had been closed, and Jess was standing by her record player flicking through her collection.

“Right, that’s dinner on the way.”

“The Very Best of Dolly Parton?” Jess made a face of disgust as he pulled out the record sleeve. “Come on Cooper, I really thought you were better than this.”

“What?! Dolly is a classic and a queen.”

“She’s a country singer.”

“She’s Dolly Parton. Champion of the working woman. Queen of the broken heart. An absolute icon.”

“The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas?”

“Reclaiming female sexuality. You keep that face up Jess and I’ll make you listen to that record all night long.” Rose teased him.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Jess shot back.

“Try me.” She lunged towards him, arm outstretched to grab the record from his hand. Jess swiftly side stepped her, holding it out of reach.

“No chance Cooper.”

“Fine.” She pouted. “I'll put something else on. The Bee Gees suit your mood?” She sent him a wicked smirk.

“Don’t.” Jess stepped back, pushing her away from the record stack. “I'll choose.”

“Alright, but quit making fun of my music collection.”

“No can do.” Jess shot back, putting the Dolly Parton record back and pulling out the Dookie record Rose bought in New York. He was just placing the needle onto it when his phone rang, buzzing against the kitchen table where he'd left it sitting.

Rose handed the phone to Jess, and he left the record silent while he pressed accept.

“Hello?”

There was the sound of a voice on the other line, muffled against his ear.

“Hi.” Jess looked back at Rose. “I'm gonna take this outside.”

She nodded. “Okay. Catch the delivery guy if he comes past you.”

He gave her a brief smile. “Sure.”

Jess pulled the door closed behind him with a soft click. Rose put the needle back onto the record and pressed play, nodding her head in time to the music.

“Who was it?” Rose asked, as she opened the door to Jess.

“Liz.” He replied shortly, placing the bag of takeout boxes down on the kitchen table.

“Oh. How... is she doing?”

“Fine.” He handed her a box with a big V written on its top. They pulled chairs out and sat down to eat.

Rose watched him for a few moments.

“Are you okay?” She asked gently.

“Yeah." He shot back, his tone still terse and defensive.

“Okay...” Rose nodded slowly and bit her lip. He didn’t exactly look fine, but this wasn’t the vulnerable Jess she was used to seeing at 4am, who'd open his arms to her if not his mouth. This Jess seemed to have closed up, rock solid defences up as he processed something deep inside. There was an aggressive edge to him that she hadn’t met before. “What did she want?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, the music still playing quietly in the background.

“Jess...” Rose started softly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Jeez Rose.” He exploded. “I'm fine – I said I was fine. I’m fine. Can you just drop it?”

“I'm – I’m sorry.” She said softly, looking at him in alarm.

“No. No. Forget it. I’m going out.” He got up from the table roughly, grabbing his notebook and his coat.

“Jess...”

He slammed the door shut behind him.

As Jess paced the darkened side streets of Stars Hollow, he couldn’t stop his mind whirling. The concrete was steady beneath his feet, the heavy darkness of the night trapping him in a little bubble under the streetlamps. It was as if he moved through a moment just outside of time, cut off from the rest of the world. Apart from the running reel of thoughts.

Liz was coming back to town. No doubt with TJ in tow. Jess was on okay terms with his mother, he thought. At least, better than they had been in years past. He called her every so often. Answered the phone when she called. They spoke. He’d told her about his book. She’d been proud of him. It had… made a nice change. She had said she’d regretted not being in town when he passed through initially. But that was okay – these things happened. There was only so much time around her he could handle, even now.

Jess was an adult now. Grown up. Living his own life, by his own rules, standing on his own feet. Reliant on only himself. It was okay – it was good. It meant they could be okay.

But all of a sudden Luke had told her he was in town – putting roots down in town. He’d told her about Rose. Jess hadn’t even thought of telling her about Rose. Not yet. Not for a long time. And yet suddenly Liz knew, and she’s calling him up, and she wants to know all about it, all about Rose. She said she wanted to meet her. And Jess didn’t think he was ready for that.

Ready for any of that. He could handle Liz. He could handle Liz and he could handle his life. He didn’t know if he could handle both at once. Not again. Liz was a total wackjob. What if she scared Rose off? What if she wants to stay put, in Stars Hollow for the summer, worm her way into being a serious part of his life again while they’re living in the same town? And then what? How long until she leaves again? Until something else happens?

This was panning out to be an odd summer, Jess thought, exhaling slowly. Who’d have thought he’d end up kicking around in Stars Hollow of all places? Truth be told, he’d rather be just about anywhere else. Small towns don’t forgive and forget, not that he’d ever cared what they thought. But he missed the anonymity of the bustling city, the way you could totally lose yourself in the crowds without anyone knowing your name.

But Stars Hollow was where Rose was, with her quick smile and her foreign accent and her red hair. He found he liked her, liked her a whole lot. She was different – different to the girls he’d known in New York, in LA. Softer, but with that sharp sense of humour. The future – their future – was a question mark at best, a full stop at the end of the summer. But she didn’t seem to mind. And truth be told, when he was curled up beside her in her bed, he didn’t miss the shithole in New York.

It was a night of broken sleep. Rose was worried about Jess. What had upset him? Why wouldn’t he tell her? Why had he yelled at her like that? And where had he gone? No call of apology afterwards to let her know he was still alive... nothing.

Rose stopped in at the diner on her way to work the next morning. The anxiety that had kept her up all night was still running through her veins, making her feel strangely awake. She knew she’d crash later though. And above all, she wanted to check Jess had gone home that night.

“Hey.”

Luke and Lorelai were chatting over the counter when she walked in. The morning crowd was different, unfamiliar to her.

“Hi Rose.” Lorelai smiled.

“You’re early.” Luke commented.

Rose shrugged. “Long night. Need a pick me up to make it through work today. Jess not up yet?”

Lorelai laughed. “You’re just here to see lover boy.”

Rose smiled weakly.

“He’s still asleep.” Luke confirmed. “Came home late last night – I thought he was staying over with you?”

“He was meant to...” Rose bit her lip. “I think we had a bit of a fight. Liz called him and then... he wouldn’t talk to me and stormed out.”

Luke sighed heavily.

“Oh honey.” Lorelai said. “That boy always does this. He was just the same with Rory. He completely refused to talk to her and then just ran away when things got messy.”

Rose frowned. “I don’t think it was that bad... And I mean I don’t expect him to open up to me about everything right away... I think it just took me by surprise.”

Lorelai shook her head. “Jess has always been a handful. Don’t let him walk all over you.”

“I won’t. I'm sure we'll figure this out.” Rose turned to Luke. “I... don’t tell him I came by this morning. He needs his space. I just wanted to check he was here, you know. I'll uh, see you guys later.”

“Bye Rose.”

Sticking to the space plan, though it didn’t stop her worrying, Rose avoided the diner that evening. It was weird, heading straight home to an empty apartment that early in the evening. It reminded her a little too much of her first week in Stars Hollow, when she’d hid away there, not knowing anyone in the town.

And... Jess. There was nothing she could do, she knew that. She wanted to know – wanted to help, badly. But given the way he'd exploded last night, prying obviously wasn’t the road to take. Hopefully he would come round in time...

Rose just about had a heart attack when she unlocked her door to find Jess sitting at her kitchen table. She stood in the doorway for a good minute, frozen, her hand still on the handle.

“Jeez Cooper, you look like you've seen a ghost.” Jess smiled at her weakly. His fingers traced the patterns of the wood grain in the table top.

“You know, I think I might have...” She replied, stepping into the room and pushing the door shut behind her. “You wanna tell me what you’re doing inside my locked apartment?”

Jess shrugged. “I told you last time, your landlord really needs to change these locks.”

Rose smiled and shook her head. “Alright Mariano. Don’t tell me.”

“I'm sorry about last night...” He replied softly.

Rose sighed quietly and looked at him. “Its okay.”

“No, it’s not.” He stood up, stepping towards her.

“Yes it is, Jess. Look – I was worried about you. I am. But I'm not going to press it. I... respect you. I don’t expect you to open up to me about everything immediately. You don’t have to. I – I want you to tell me. And I’m here for you, when you want to tell me. But only when you want to, okay?”

“Okay.” He stepped forward again, and Rose moved to meet him, pulling him into a close hug. They stood like that for a few moments, Rose’s arms holding Jess to her, his hand resting on the small of her back, their hearts beating through their shirts. “Thank you.” He mumbled into her shoulder.

“Any time. I’m here for you Jess.” She smiled softly. “Now, do you want to actually stay for dinner tonight? I've got left over Chinese food...”

Later that night, Rose found herself wide awake at four am. A ghostly grey light was drifting in through the curtains. She got up, opened a window to let some air into the warm room, before climbing back into bed beside Jess. He was fast asleep, snoring softly. Rose lay down on her side, watching him with a soft smile on her face for a few moments, before closing her eyes to doze off again.

Jess shifted in his sleep beside her. And then again, and again. He mumbled something. Rose opened her eyes to watch him. He flinched, in his sleep. And then suddenly woke up with a sharp intake of air, eyes wide open but unseeing.

He immediately rolled over, away from her, and curled himself up, as tight and as small as he could.

Rose reached out to him, gently running her hand over his back. She felt him tense underneath her at the initial contact, and then relax shakily. When she propped herself up on her elbows to look at him, she saw he wasn’t crying. Just lying there, curled up, trying to manually steady his breathing.

“Jess?” she whispered. “Jess?”

He took a deep breath, passed a hand over his eyes, and opened one to look up at her.

“You okay?”

He closed his eyes again and lay there for a moment. Rose stayed there, watching him, concern wrinkling her brows.

Then Jess rolled back over to face her, and shifted over closer to her, snaking an arm around her waist. She smiled softly, and put her arm around his back, holding him close to her. He nestled his face into her neck, forehead resting against her cheek. She kissed it gently, and held him while his breathing slowly steadied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two really need to stop answering their phones.


	11. You're Dumb Cooper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess opens up.

A couple of days later, Luke had to go upstairs mid shift in search of a ledger he needed for the diner. Rose and Jess had disappeared up there an hour or so earlier, supposedly to watch a film as her studio apartment didn’t have a television. If anything, he expected to find them horizontal on the couch, making out like teenagers. It would not be the first time he’d caught them.

When he opened the door and stepped into the apartment, he did indeed find them horizontal on the couch. They were not, however, making out. Jess lay on his stomach, sprawled on top of Rose, his head resting against her shoulder. Fast asleep. Rose’s eyes were on the tv screen, her hands resting gently on Jess’s back. She looked over at Luke as he came in and smiled apologetically.

“He was tired." She whispered, careful not to wake Jess.

"He's not been sleeping well lately." Luke replied softly.  
  
"You're telling me."

“At least not on the rare occasions when he's actually over here.”

Rose blushed. “Do you think it's the stuff with Liz?" She asked, concern loud in her eyes.  
  
"Probably."

She combed her hand through his hair gently. "Poor kid."  
  
"He used to listen to music to sleep, when he was a teenager." Luke said, looking around the room for the errant ledger.  
  
"Hmm. I had friends who did that." Rose replied absently.  
  
Luke looked at her, but she did not elaborate further.  
  
"He hasn't so much since he left though."  
  
She smiled. "Makes sense. I don't think you could sleep at all in that New York place if you didn't have an ear out for the addict coming to shank you."  
  
Luke chuckled softly. "That sounds like it alright."  
  
Jess stirred slightly, and they paused to see if he would wake.  
  
"I better be gettin' back." Luke said, locating the ledger on a corner shelf and retrieving it before softly creeping to the door.  
  
Rose nodded goodbye, attention focused on the black curls beneath her chin.

Friday night, with nowhere to go, Rose and Jess decided to have a night in together. They ordered in pizza, and Jess brought over some beer he ‘borrowed' from Luke’s fridge.

Rose wrinkled her nose as she took a swig from one of the bottles.

“Come on Cooper, it’s not that bad.”

“It really is. I am not a beer drinker.”

Jess rolled his eyes. “Fine. Give it here.” He stretched his arm out across the table.

“Nope.” Rose held it out of his reach and took another swig. “It’s mine.” She immediately pulled a face.

“Why are you drinking it if you don’t like it?”

“There’s nothing else to drink.” She burped loudly and they both sniggered.

“There really is no winning with you, huh?”

“Nope.” She grinned, kicking her feet up and resting her ankles across Jess’s lap. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t say you could.”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t.” She shot back.

Jess laughed. “Touché.”

They sat together for a few moments in a companionable silence.

“What are you thinking?” Rose asked, nudging Jess with her toe.

Jess quirked an eyebrow at her and grinned. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Yeah brainbox, that’s why I’m asking.”

“Brainbox? Seriously?”

“Give me a break! I’ve had a solid three... and a half of these.” Rose held up the green glass bottle in her hand. “You can’t expect my vocabulary to be functioning at peak performance.”

“Okay Merriam Webster.” Jess chuckled. “I was counting up the bottles on my side of the table-" he gestured to the hefty collection of empties by his elbow “-and yours.”

“Ahh...” Rose nodded sagely. “Now I can’t do numbers sober, so you’re better just giving me your results straight off.”

“Well, by my reckoning, I am a lot more drunk than you.”

“Hmmm... Have you accounted for-" Rose burped again and giggled. “Body mass? And preexisting tolerance?”

“I think so.” Jess nodded, resting his hand on the bare shin that ran across his lap.

“And the fact that I am trying very hard to avoid a repeat of Lorelai’s lawn?”

He laughed. “You told me that was a one time thing!”

“Yeah but this beer tastes real bad.” Rose shot back.

“Stop drinking it then.”

Rose shook her head at him. “You’re a real genius you know that? I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.”

Jess rolled his eyes at her. “You’re dumb Cooper.”

“I sure am, baby.” She grinned and took another swig of the beer before pulling a face of disgust. “Okay, that’s it, I accept your wisdom, I have had enough.” She pushed the bottle across the table and away from her.

Jess smiled at her. “Good girl.”

Rose narrowed her eyes at him. “I’d thank you not to call me that.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna come over here and stop me?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” Rose attempted to pull her legs back of Jess’s lap but he held onto them fast. “Hey! Let me go!”

“No – can – do.” Jess replied, gripping onto her as she attempted to kick him off. He reached one hand up and started tickling her behind her knee.

“Oh my god! No! No! Stop!” Rose yelled, trying to kick him off harder. “Not fair! Jess! Stop it!”

Jess just laughed and kept tickling her, strong arms holding her legs in place. Rose continued to squirm and writhe in his grasp, trying to pull away from him. She was laughing so hard she was starting to gasp for air.

Rose kept wriggling and wriggling until – CRASH. Her chair tipped underneath her, and legs still caught in Jess's grasp, she couldn’t catch herself before she hit the floor hard.

“Oww.” Rose whined, inbetween bursts of laughter. “That hurt.”

Jess let her legs drop and reached a hand down to help her up, both still laughing hard.

“Are you okay?!”

“Probably. You can check my backside for bruises tomorrow.”

“Aye Aye Captain.” He grinned.

Rose righted her chair and sat back down. “I think I’ll keep my legs to myself in future.”

“Don’t.” Jess pouted at her. “I promise I won’t tickle you again.”

“I don’t believe you for a second Mariano.” She laughed.

Jess stuck his bottom lip out further.

Rose laughed. “You are so drunk.” She wobbled on her chair again, clutching the table to steady herself. “And apparently so am I.”

Jess smiled at her softly. He leaned into the table, placing an elbow on it and propping up his head. They stayed there for a couple of moments, just staring at each other with lopsided goofy grins.

A phone began to ring, buried in one of their bags across the room. Jess swallowed thickly and went very pale, very suddenly. Rose righted herself wobbily and slowly stood up from the table, staggering across the room and reaching into the bags in search of the ringing phone. Grabbing it, she pulled it out with a flourish and held it aloft.

“Its yours – Liz, again.” She said, squinting at the monitor and holding it out to Jess.

He pushed himself up from the table quickly, not looking at her, and rushed past her outstretched hand and into her tiny bathroom.

Rose stood there for a moment, looking after him in confusion. The sound of retching came from the bathroom.

“Shit.” She dropped the phone, still ringing, onto the kitchen table and ran in after him. Jess was kneeling on the floor, his head hanging low into the toilet pan as he threw up. “Oh honey.”

Rose knelt down beside him, gently rubbing her hand down his back.

They stayed like that, Jess’s forehead resting against the toilet seat, Rose’s hand gently running up and down his back, until his stomach was empty and then settled, the dry heaving subsiding. Once she was sure he'd finished, Rose reached up to the sink and fetched a damp cloth, coaxing his head up with a gentle hand under his chin and tenderly cleaning up his mouth. Tears ran in tracks down his cheeks. 

Jess pushed her hands away clumsily and sat back, resting his head against the cool tiles of the wall with a groan. Rose stood up to wash the cloth out at the sink.

“I shouldn’t be here.” Jess mumbled.

“What?” Rose switched the taps off and turned back to him.

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“Jess, no, it’s okay.” She knelt back down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“Its fine, Jess. These things happen. It’s okay. I’d rather you were here than anywhere else.”

“No... not here. Not here. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t stay – I can’t stay.”

“You can’t go anywhere in this state either.” She chided him gently.

“This town... I should have thought this through. I can’t stay in this fucking town for months...” Jess buried his face in his hands. “I can’t. I should go.”

“Jess...?”

“I shouldn’t have stayed. I can’t stay.”

“Jess, what the fuck are you saying?” Rose couldn’t keep the panic out of her voice. He was drunk – it was just drunk ramblings, surely. But she couldn’t stop the panic rising in her chest, blending with the incoherency left around the edges by the alcohol she’d drunk.

“I should go. I have to go.”

“What?!”

“Liz... Liz is coming back. She called – she keeps calling. Luke told her I was here – here for a while. She wants – she wants to come back. While I’m here.”

Rose frowned at him. “Okay...”

“I can’t – I can’t do it.” His shoulders shook as he started to cry. Oh shit, Rose thought. Oh shit. She sat down beside him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her chest in a mirror of what he’d done when she’d cried in front of him.

“I can’t – I can't –“

“Its okay. It’s okay, Jess.” Her hand rubbed slow circles into his back.

“No – it’s not.” Jess tried clumsily to push himself upright and out of Rose’s arms. She let him go, and he sat back against the wall again, leaning away from her. “I don’t – I can’t -"

Rose just watched him, unsure what to do or say.

“I’m- I have my own life now. I don’t- I don’t need her. She didn’t- never came before. She can’t come back now- now I’m here – and – and just swan in and play _mother_ -" he almost spat the word out “- like, like I’m not – not an adult. Like I didnt get here with – without her.”

“Jess...” Rose said softly, her heart breaking for him. She reached out gently to him and placed a hand on his upper arm. When he didn’t flinch away, she kept it there for a moment.

His mumblings quickly descended into completely incoherent noises. Rose stopped trying to listen. She wasn’t sure sober Jess would want her to have heard everything she had already.

“Hey, Jess, come on. Let’s go to bed. We can let the world sort itself out in the morning. Come on.”

Slowly she coaxed him up, and wrapping an arm around his waist, helped him out of the bathroom and across the short distance to her bed. He fell into it heavily. Rose made sure he was lying on his side, before creeping back into the bathroom and clearing it up. She placed a glass of water on the nightstand beside him, and switching the lights off, climbed into the other side of the bed. They both fell asleep before their heads hit their pillows.

When Jess awoke the next morning, it was to a splitting headache, an empty stomach, and a foul taste in his mouth. He groaned and rolled over, burying his face into the pillows. His arm, flung out across the mattress, indicated the absence of his girlfriend from the bed beside him. How much had he drunk last night?

A short snort came from the other side of the studio apartment, followed by a “Hello handsome”, Rose’s morning catchphrase, delivered in a rough voice that lacked its usual humorous tone. Jess pushed himself up on his elbows, the headache increasing, and turned to look across at her.

Rose was stood in the kitchenette wearing one of his t shirts, her long legs bare, sipping a glass of water. Jess glared at her blearily before sinking his head back down into the pillows.

A few moments later there was a dip in the bed beside him. “Scoot.” Rose said, shoving his arm out of the way and climbing under the covers. A minute later, and Jess was asleep again.

When they finally both surfaced, it was past two in the afternoon. The headaches had by then subsided into a dim pressure in their brains, queasy stomachs replaced by hungry growls. Rose got up, fetched them glasses of water and the cold leftovers of their pizza from the night before, and they sat up in bed beside each other to eat.

Hungover Rose was, Jess discovered, distinctly uncommunicative. Usually fairly willing to talk his ear off, she now communicated solely in a combination of glares and curt nods. He wasn’t sure if it was just the hangover or if she was actually mad at him about something he’d said the night before. He racked his brain as they ate, attempting to piece together the fragments he remembered. They'd been laughing... He'd tickled her and she fell off her chair... and then... the phone rang. He remembered the phone ringing, and ringing and then... Jess winced. He'd thrown up. Rose had been there – he remembered her cleaning him up and then... he was pushing her away – she’d been holding him...

“Shit...” Jess groaned, as the memory of half of what he'd said in the bathroom came back.

Rose glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. There was a lot they needed to talk about, of that she was sure. Rose didn’t know how to process the events of the night before. Liz was coming back into town... that was evidently what had been bugging Jess since the phone call at the start of the week. He evidently didn’t want her to. But... his words played over and over in Rose’s mind. “I shouldn’t stay. I can’t stay. I have to go.” Everyone had said he would pull a runner, and she’d adamantly refused to believe them. They were happy, together, weren’t they? Or was this it? Was real life going to creep in round the edges of the little bubble of happiness they'd created together and tear them asunder? Rose knew – she knew there were flaws beneath their feet that she was ignoring. She knew it was a bad plan really, to focus everything on Jess, Jess, Jess. How many friends had she made in Stars Hollow beyond him? Come what may, at the end of August he was due to leave for Philadelphia. What was she going to do then?

That was a question Rose staunchly refused to ask herself. August was still months off. They had to deal with here and now first. Here, and now, and Jess not running away now.

Rose looked at him. “I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah.” Jess winced.

“I know I said I wouldn’t pry – and I won’t. But you said some things last night, about your mum coming back...”

Jess sighed.

“Can you tell me what’s going on, please?” Rose looked at him pleadingly.

Jess looked away and ran a hand over his face.

“Okay. Okay.” He paused. Rose waited, listening. “The phone call – that I yelled at you about. It was my mom. Liz. I – She lives in Stars Hollow these days.” Jess spoke slowly, as if each word that came out his mouth had sharp barbs he had to manoeuvre carefully so as not to cut himself on. “When she and TJ, her latest husband, aren't out travelling to those stupid Renaissance fayre things they do.”

Rose raised an eyebrow in surprise. She could not imagine Jess being related to a Renaissance Fayre type of person.

Jess glanced over at her and caught the look. A half smile quickly flitted across his face. “I know. But... yeah. They were – usually they’re away most of the summer. So... I guess I thought I’d be okay.”

He paused again. “We’re fine, really, these days. I call – she calls, occasionally. We're in touch, you know? But... it’s at a distance. I'm... I live my own life now. I don’t need her. Not now.”

Jess paused again and sighed. “She’s... unreliable, to put it nicely. And... Luke called her, told her I was here, that I'd been staying here. And now... she wants to come back. And see me. And – and meet you.”

Rose nodded slowly.

“And I just... I don’t know.” He looked over at Rose and smiled weakly. “I don’t want her scaring you off, Cooper.”

Rose sent him a soft smile back. “She’d have to try real hard to do that.”

Jess looked away and ran a hand over his face, letting out a shaky sigh. “Okay.”

“I'm going nowhere Jess.”

He nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Rose pushed the empty pizza box away from them and crept over the bed closer to him. Resting her back against the headboard beside him, she slipped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into her again. Jess rested his head on her shoulder.

“Jess...” She said softly, after a few moments.

“Yeah?”

“You said last night that you didn’t want Liz ‘playing mother’. I... was it bad when you were a kid, growing up with her?”

“I didn’t really get to be a kid.” He replied, his voice still soft but shot through with something bitter.

“Oh...” Rose exhaled slowly.

Jess sat back up and shrugged. “She drank. She used drugs – a lot. The guys that came and went were pretty bad. Used to hit her, and me sometimes, if I got in the way.”

“Oh god.” Rose whispered.

“Stole her stuff every time they left. Then... she’d go back to the drinking. And the pot. She’d throw things when she got angry.”

“Jess...” She looked at him, her eyes huge and filled with an aching mixture of heartbreak and concern.

“Don’t say you’re sorry.” He snapped quickly.

“I... won't.”

“It was what it was. I learned to look out for myself. At least until she decided I was too much to handle and she shipped me off to Luke’s.”

“Christ Jess... I didn’t realise...”

“Don’t. I don’t want your pity.”

“Okay. I.. I won’t.”

“And quit looking at me like that.”

Rose rolled her eyes and forced a smile. She reached up and kissed his forehead gently. He gave her a small smile in response. Rose settled back down against him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“What happened after you left Stars Hollow?” She asked softly.

Jess sighed. “Well... I went out to California to see Jimmy – my dad. I... I had nowhere else to go. And I’d never really met him. Not that there was much to meet in the end.” He smiled ruefully. “I stayed out there for about a month maybe, with him and Sasha, his girlfriend. And Sasha’s kid Lily. And then... I travelled for a while. Eventually I wound up back in New York.”

Rose nodded gently against his shoulder. “You must have been so... lost.”

Jess shrugged. “I wasn’t heading anywhere great for a while. But things are looking up now. I’ve got my book – and the guys in Philly. And you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Rose smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for telling me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basing Jess's handling of this on how people I know handled things like that in their early 20s. Some people need to vocalise it all, some people do their best to move on and don't talk about it much. Given Jess didn't talk at all as a teenager, I'm guessing that an older Jess would be open to mentioning it a little more but still not opening right up about it. 
> 
> I'm not saying this is a particularly healthy way of handling things. Just that its how Jess does it.


	12. Dead Dooses

When Rose stepped into the diner at 5pm, she found Jess already sitting at her usual corner table. The notebook was open in front of him, pen scratching away at the pages. Rose detoured via the counter, picking up a coffee before heading over.

Jess looked up as she set the mug down and pulled out a chair.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

They kissed briefly.

“Don’t let me distract you.” She smiled.

“Nah, I’m done for now.” He closed the book and pushed it to the side. “So, what’s happening in archive land today?”

“Well... I’ve finally been given something other than filing to do.”

“No way!”

“Yes way.” Rose grinned. “Taylor Doose wants his family history researched. And as Stars Hollow's premier historian, the job falls to me.”

“Well I never, Cooper. Your first research assignment.” Jess grinned.

“I know!”

“I guess that calls for a celebration tonight...”

“I like your thinking.” Rose grinned. “We could get a film, order in some pizza?”

“Oh wow Rose. Really pushing the boat out there.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “What can I say, I’m the life of the party.”

Jess chuckled. “We could go out.”

“Out out?” Rose mock gasped. “Is that even safe?”

Jess kicked her under the table. “Quit it Cooper. There’s this cool dive bar in Hartford I want to check out.”

“Hmm... are you sure alcohol is really wise after our last performance?” Rose teased.

“I’m sure they'll let us order soft drinks.”

Rose laughed. “Ah yes, the real dive bar experience.”

“Hey.” Rose pulled Jess into a deep kiss the moment she opened her door to him. He raised his eyebrows in surprise for a moment, before sinking into it, his hands falling to their place on her waist. He pushed her forwards gently, into the room, and kicked the door shut behind them.

They broke apart with smiles. Jess kept his hands on Rose’s waist, and she her arms around his neck.

“Hi?” He grinned.

“Hi! I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the diner this evening. I got caught up in this rabbit hole of this one branch of the Doose family in the 1920s and I totally lost track of time. I thought I’d do just like five minutes more but then all of a sudden it was six, and that’s why I called you so late and I’m really sorry.”

“Chill Cooper.” Jess kissed her. “No biggie.”

“I’m really sorry. I am.”

“Its okay.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

“So tell me about these Dooses.”

Rose’s face lit up with a grin. “Did you know Taylor is directly related to a mass murderer?”

“What?! No way.”

“Yeah. Killed a load of people in the Hartford area in the late 1920s, just before the Wall Street Crash. It’s all over local news from the time. They never caught him either – he just disappears from the records after about 1931.”

“Spooky.”

“I know! I wonder if his ghost is still out there, roaming the Hartford streets...”

“Ghost stories Cooper, really?”

Rose laughed and shrugged. “Okay. Maybe not.”

“So, you got the film for tonight?”

“Yes!” Rose moved out of his arms and across to a paper bag on the table. “I stopped in on my way home. And I got a disk drive so we can watch it through my laptop this time, and not disturb Luke again.”

Jess chuckled. “What are we watching tonight?”

“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It’s an old favourite of mine – it’s not your usual romance film.”

“Who’s in it?”

“Jim Carrey – but acting seriously, no Ace Ventura type stuff. And Kate Winslet.”

Jess rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

“Hey! I am allowed to like Kate Winslet.”

“You want to be Kate Winslet.”

“Well I’m English and I’m called Rose. I’m just missing a wardrobe of nice dresses and some aristocratic blood, and I could totally be in Titanic.”

Jess laughed, moving around the table and slipping his arms back around her waist.

“Okay Cooper. Just give me a heads up before you go jumping overboard.”

“Why, Jack, are you gonna save me?”

“Only if you let me paint you like one of my French girls.” They smiled into another kiss.

Rose sighed softly and snuggled further into Jess’s side as the end credits rolled over the screen. “God I love that film.”

Jess smiled softly. “Yeah. It was good.”

“Just! That scene where they’re under the blanket and it’s all golden, that has to be my favourite. It’s just so soft and intimate and beautiful... And the way he says ‘no, I want to remember this!’ Gets me every time.”

Jess just looked down at her and smiled.

“And the way they say ‘okay' at the end, knowing all that they do but knowing that it’ll be worth it – that all the bad bits are worth it for the good ones, the happy memories. And – oh god – in the last memory, when she says ‘it’ll all be over soon. What do we do now?’ And he just says ‘enjoy it.’ Oh. That bit. I just -!”

Jess chuckled softly.

“What?” Rose asked, twisting to look up at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” He smiled, gazing steadily at her.

“What? Why are you laughing at me?”

“Its nothing.” He gave in to her pleading eyes. “I just – I like it when you’re like this.”

“What?”

“You go all soft and your eyes start shining.”

“My eyes do what?!”

“Shine Cooper. Like your heart is bleeding out them. It only happens sometimes – now. And when you were reading Persuasion and you got to the ‘half agony, half hope’ bit and were sighing so loudly the whole diner kept staring.”

Rose blushed, her cheeks growing rosy as she hid her face in Jess's side. “Don’t remind me.” She mumbled.

“And that night in New York, when we were stood at that window and you started telling me how much you loved the world at four am.”

Rose looked back up at him. Jess was staring at her with soft eyes and a small smile, and something in his expression she couldn’t quite place. She smiled softly at him too.

“I stand by that. The world is a magical place at four am. You’re a lucky man to see it so often.”

Jess chuckled and held her closer. “I’m not sure ‘lucky' is the word I’d choose.”

“You gotta look on the bright side Mariano. Everything has its ups, even if they’re only small and hard to spot.”

“Whatever you say Cooper.”

Out of five days that following week, Rose made it to the diner after work twice. And on one of those, she brought her work with her, barrelling through the door with an armful of files and papers that she dropped on the table with a heavy thud.

“I can’t believe you're cheating on me with dead Dooses, of all people.” Jess stood beside her table, a coffee cup in one hand and his notebook in the other.

Rose glanced at him distractedly and shot him a weak smile. She turned back to the papers immediately, rifling through them in search of something. “I'm sorry – I just – Taylor gave me this damned deadline and I’ve still got so much to do and I’m not even sure I can get through it all in the next week. The filing system is so chaotic and just such a total mess – definitely not helped by me being an air head when I was resorting this section after you kissed me for the first time-" Jess’s fond smile of amusement grew wider “- and I’ve somehow got to sort it out and track down the details and life histories of at least six other damned Dooses, who just seem to have fallen off the face of the bloody earth and then get it all written up neatly with a nice little family tree so Taylor can get it bound. I just – I don’t even know if I have the time to sleep again, ever.”

“Jeez Cooper. Breathe.” Jess ran a reassuring hand across her shoulder. “You'll be fine.”

“Breathing! Right. Another thing I don’t have time for.” Rose found the file she was searching for and pulled it out, destabilizing the pile and sending it sliding across the table. She sat down heavily and opened the file up, staring blankly at the page in front of her for a moment.

“And where do boyfriends fit in the scale of priority that runs from meeting this deadline to basic human functions?”

Rose sighed heavily and dropped her head to the table, her forehead landing in the middle of the page with a soft thud. Jess watched her back rise and fall as she took deep, controlled breaths. “I don’t know...” She mumbled into the table.

“You need a break Rose. Come on. Put that stuff away. We can go hide upstairs and put a film on.”

“I don’t have time for films...”

“Yes you do. And if you don’t get up I will carry you up there like a damsel in distress.”

“I am not a damsel.” Rose lifted her head to glare at him. “You couldn’t carry me if you tried.”

“You wanna bet, Cooper?”

“...No.” She pouted, standing up and gathering the open file up into her arms.

“I think not.” Jess pulled it out of her grasp and put it back down on the table with the others. “This is the first time I've seen you all week. You are not working now.”

“Lies. I saw you on Tuesday. And you stayed over Wednesday night.”

“Yeah, and before this damn project I saw you every day. Now pipe down and let me enjoy some time with my girlfriend.”

“Fine. But we can’t just leave them all here – what if Luke needs the table?”

“This is your table Rose.” Jess replied, taking her by the hand and leading her in the direction of the back stairs. “No one else sits there at this time of day.”

“Even when I’m not here?”

“Even then.”

When Saturday came around, Luke found Jess sitting at the table in his apartment, notebook open in front of him.

“Oh – Hi.” He said, stepping in. “What are you doing here?”

“Throwing a party.” Jess snapped.

“Right. I thought you and Rose were doing something today?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. Does it look like Rose and I are doing something?”

“No. No.” Luke paused and looked at his nephew. “What’s going on with you two? One minute you’re so glued to each other I think we'd need a surgeon to separate you, and the next you’re sitting up here on your own on a Saturday afternoon. Where's Rose?”

“Working.” Jess didn’t lift his eyes from his notebook.

“Working? It’s a Saturday! Who works on a Saturday?”

“You work on a Saturday.” Jess replied, finally resting his pen and looking up at his uncle with an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah – in a diner. Not in a nine to five office job.”

Jess shrugged. “She’s got this big deadline coming up and she’s really freaked about it.”

“Have you called her today?”

“Yes. Of course. She said she was busy.”

“Busy?”

“Busy. What do you want me to do about it? She won’t talk to me. She barely even looks at me, and when she does, I can see all she’s thinking about is which damned Doose died when.”

“Are you sure it’s just the project freaking her out?” Luke asked tentatively.

“What?”

“Well... I don’t know, you guys were very... intense, right from the start. Maybe she’s using the project as an excuse to get a bit of space?”

“Space? You think the problem is with me?”

“No. No. Well... maybe. I’m just saying, Jess. This might be just a whirlwind summer fling for you, but Rose’s trying to settle in here longer term. Maybe she needs a break every now and again to make a few friends in town, you know?”

“Huh.” Jess nodded slowly. “Maybe.” He closed his notebook and stood up. “I'm going out. I’ll see you later.”


	13. Unlucky 13

“ _You have reached_ Jess Mariano. _Please leave a message after the beep.”_

“Hey Jess, its Rose. I’m really sorry I’m not going to make it to the diner again tonight. And dinner too actually – I think I’m gonna just order to here and keep going. I’m super sorry. I... I’m just totally swamped in this project, uh, which you know. Um. Yeah. Feel free to hang out in my flat if you want. I should be back at some point before the sun rises on tomorrow... I hope. No promises.” She chuckled weakly. “I... Yeah. I’m really sorry. I'll make it up to you all next week, I promise. I just have to get through this and get it done, you know? So um yeah. See you later, hopefully.”

Rose ended the call and turned back to the desk in front of her. It was strewn with papers, files stacked up haphazardly on the floor beside it. It was going to take her another week to put them all back in the right places, but she didn’t want to think about that right now. It was the glowing screen of her laptop she needed to focus on. The Doose family history. She was almost there now. It had taken all last week, working overtime most nights, and all weekend. But she was finally getting there. When she’d agreed to the two week time frame, she’d had no idea it would be so hard. That there would be so many Dooses, tucked away in so many misplaced files. She cursed her inexperience. How hard would it have been to ask for another week? But no, here she was, working late every night and drowning in the stress just like she used to with essays back in college. In some ways, it was comfortingly familiar, the papers spread around her, the smell of coffee, the lamp lit desk. She hadn’t missed the way her back ached from sitting in one position for too long though, nor the tired eyes and headaches from squinting between the screens and books for hour after hour.

And she couldn’t shake the guilty feeling in her gut, nestled deep below the anxiety that filled her chest. Jess. They'd gone from spending almost every evening together to barely seeing each other. And this week he'd barely slept over once. Rose’s bed felt vast and cold without him sleeping beside her. Or it had for the first few minutes, before the anxious thinking about the project spilled out again.

She missed him. She knew she did, really. When the panic got too overwhelming and she felt like she was drowning in a tide of dead Dooses, angrily yelling at her for not telling their stories correctly, the only thing she wanted was to be with him. To be curled up on Luke’s sofa, her head on his chest, grounded by his touch, held together by his arms. But... in a few quiet moments, when she’d come home exhausted at the end of the day, eyes bleary and head empty of thoughts, she had almost appreciated the peaceful space of her empty flat. Sometimes it was nice, to just make whatever she wanted to eat, listen to the music she wanted to listen to, sprawl out on the bed with her limbs going in every direction. She’d always shut down when she was stressed out, pushed friends away until it was over and she had the energy to be herself again.

Then she’d turn around, a sarcastic comment on her lips, and only the empty flat would be there to laugh at it. The guilty feeling would grow and twist, and she promised herself, again and again, that she’d try to get out earlier the next night to see him.

But here she was, Tuesday night, cancelling yet another dinner plan. Jess was getting sick of her apologies and her empty promises, she could see it. What could she do though? The work needed done. The deadline was on Friday. Two days away. She was almost, almost there now. She just had to read it over again, polish it up, add in that section about Michael Doose the third. If she could just keep her eyes open a little longer...

Eight pm came, and Rose finally decided she’d had enough. The words on the page before her had long since stopped making sense. She wasn’t certain she could even see straight anymore. Flicking off the light switches, she plunged the archives into a stifling darkness as she left. Weariness had settled into her bones. Two more days. She could make it.

Jess was sitting at the kitchen table, writing, when Rose let herself into her apartment.

“Hey.” She said, a tired smile creeping onto her face.

He rested his pen and leant back in his chair, looking up at her. “Hey.”

Rose walked across the room and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “It’s good to see you. I… I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Well… you know me. I’m always free, just waiting on your call.” There was a bitter edge to his voice.

Rose frowned and stepped back, away from him. “I really am sorry Jess, about all the cancelled plans. I’m nearly done – I’ve only got to get to Friday, and then I’m free again. Then I’m all yours.”

“Until the next project.” Jess muttered.

“What? Jess – I’m sorry. I really am. But there’s nothing I can do, I have to get this work finished.”

“Right. And then you’ll have to get the next one finished, and the next one.”

“Well – hopefully they won’t be so bad…”

“Jeez Rose. Come on. Don’t think you’re the first girl I’ve had a fling with. If you’re bored of this just say! I’ll go!”

“What?! What the – I, I get it if you’re mad at me for cancelling the plans. But I never said I was ‘bored’ of this?!”

“You didn’t have to!” Jess yelled.

Rose couldn’t stop the tears that welled in her eyes.

“Come on Rose. Cancelling all our plans? Blowing me off every night? Its textbook. If you’ve had enough of this just tell me. I’m here, now, just say it! Say it’s over! I’m too much for you, you need your space, you’re sick of seeing me. At least have the decency to cut me loose!”

“The decency?” The tears began to slide down Rose’s cheeks, tears of frustration and exhaustion and confusion. Her throat started to close up. “You, who runs out on everyone the moment it gets hard?”

The comment was out before she could stop it. Jess glared at her, the fire rising in his eyes. But she couldn’t stop herself, defences worn down, sense worn out, too many days of stress and anxiety and late nights working to the bone.

“Do you know what people say?! What people have been telling me since the moment I started talking to you? ‘He’s just going to break your heart.’ ‘He’s just going to run out the door and not call you again for a year.’ I – I don’t want to believe them, Jess. I’m doing everything I can not to listen. And – and then you just sit there, you sit there and you’re drunk and you’re telling me you have to leave! You can’t stay! And now – now this?! I’m just another fucking fling, is that it? A quick fuck while you’ve got nothing better to do for a summer? Christ Jess. If you want out, go! Go!”

Her voice broke on the last word, uttered in a hoarse whisper. Rose clutched at the table for support, the exhaustion of the last week and a half hitting her like a freight train to the chest. The tears fell fast and thick down her cheeks as she stood there, staring at Jess. Jess, who grabbed his notebook and his jacket from the table. Jess, who paused, halfway to the door. Jess, who looked at her, as she sank into a chair, her shoulders heaving with suppressed sobs. Jess, who looked at her with anger and heartbreak writ deep in his dark eyes, as if asking her to say it again, say it again so I know you mean it. Jess, who turned away and stormed out, the door slamming shut behind him.

Rose cried so hard she couldn’t breathe.

The lights were still on in her flat when she woke up. Rose found herself curled up on top of her bed, surrounded by used tissues and a pillow that had been squashed out of shape as she held it to her chest. She could feel the salt lines on her cheeks as she shifted and sat up, stretching the crick out of her neck. What time was it?

Midnight. She’d fallen asleep crying. She felt washed out, drained, exhausted. A heavy weight sat in the centre of her chest, pulling her down.

How the fuck had they ended up here? Where… Where did that go so badly wrong? She was tired, she wasn’t thinking straight, oh god she was tired. She hadn’t meant to blow up at Jess like that – not then, not ever. It all just came tumbling out, all the worries, all the things people said that she’d told herself she wasn’t letting get to her, all the things they’d never cleared up after that night they got drunk together. She’d snapped, and she’d let it slip, and now… Now they were over. Rose could feel the tears welling again. She’d fucked up. She’d fucked up royally.

Stars Hollow was quiet at half past five in the morning. It was one of those bright mornings, the night’s dew still damp on the grass, that feeling of summer heat that was yet to build but surely would. The sky was a soft pale blue, birds singing from the treetops. There was something nice about the town at that time, shops still shuttered, streets empty. It was quiet, peaceful.

Walking along the main street, Rose realised she had no idea what the weather had been like in the past week. Every hour that past week had been spent buried deep in the archives, oblivious to the world outside. She’d been promised, moving out there, that summers in Connecticut were beautiful – brimming with long, hot days like rainy old Britain would never see.

Rose had needed a walk. She needed to get out, move, let her feet pace as she tried to clear her head and sort out her thoughts. Why not then, at five am? She was awake. A strange energy was coursing through her, propelling her up and out. Logically, she thought, it had to be sleep deprived delirium. She was exhausted – completely and utterly worn out. But she didn’t feel delirious. And she couldn’t get back to sleep.

If anything, Rose felt very calm. It was as if the world, for a couple of beautiful hours, had come into crystal clear focus, the complications of work and life and deadlines swept away. What remained were the little things – the fresh air entering her lungs, the early sunshine sparkling on the windows as it rose above the roof tops.

Rose thought that she needed to figure out what to do. The obvious option would have been to go back to sleep, to get up at seven am like she always did, to go to work and bury her head back in the piles of files and papers until that Friday deadline came and went. Then deal with everything, when she had the time and the energy to deal with it.

But the fight with Jess had taken the wind clean out of her sails. Rose had realised, lying wide awake in the grey light of dawn, that she didn’t need to give the project two more days of her all. It was, after all, essentially finished. Did Taylor Doose care about the intricacies of Michael Doose the third’s second marriage? She sure as hell didn’t. Actually, when it came down to it, she didn’t particularly care about any of the dead Doose’s she had dedicated the last two weeks to getting to know. Of course the project had freaked out her out. It was her first. She had been terrified of some how failing in it, of producing subpar work that would brand her forever bad at her job, ending her career before it had started. But thinking on it now, in the clear light of the early morning, Rose realised that what she had done, would do. She had two days to edit it and then the damned thing would be done, and off her back.

Which just left Jess as the problem to solve.

And so she went for a walk.

Luke found his nephew up unusually early that morning, taking down chairs ahead of the morning opening.

“You’re up early.” He said by way of greeting, moving behind the counter to switch on the coffee machines.

Jess shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”

When the morning rush came, Jess was glad of the bustle. Moving around the room, refilling cups and carrying plates, kept his mind off things. The tension of the fight from the night before still ran through him, like a spring coiled in every limb, ready to bounce at the first sign of anything.

“Uhm, Jess.” Kirk cleared his throat, sitting down at the counter Jess was clearing. “I thought you should know. There’s someone sleeping on your car.”

“In my car?!”

“No. _On_ your car.”

“What the- Who the fuck?!” Jess yelled.

Dumping the plates back onto the counter, Jess ran across the room and legged it out of the diner, the door swinging behind him. He raced around the corner to his usual parking spot.

“What the fuck are you doing Cooper?!”

Rose woke up with a start, her heart racing. She’d dozed off. Shit.

Jess was standing on the pavement glaring at her, his arms folded across his chest. Rose blinked at him, like a deer caught in headlights.

“I – uh – I was waiting for you.” She could her cheeks catch fire. At ten to six in the morning, this had seemed like a good idea. Now, it was turning out to be very, very embarrassing.

“You were waiting for me?” Jess stared at her as if she was the biggest idiot on the earth. And honestly, Rose was beginning to think she was.

“I – yeah. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t think you’d be in the diner – I thought you’d skip town. Actually I thought you would have skipped town last night. But – evidently you didn’t. So I thought I’d wait here until you came out to – to skip town.”

Jess sighed and passed a hand over his face. In that moment he looked exhausted, and Rose’s heart went out to him.

“I wanted – I want to apologise for last night.” She said softly. “I’m really sorry I flipped out at you. I –“

“Shouldn’t you be at work right now?” Jess interrupted. Last night’s anger brought a hard edge to his words.

“Oh, uh – I don’t know. What’s the time?” Rose slid off the bonnet of his car and stood beside him on the sidewalk.

Jess flicked his eyes down to his wristwatch. “Half past nine.”

“Oh…” Rose sighed. “Screw work. Those files can do without seeing my face for one day.”

Jess raised his eyebrows. “What about the deadline?”

“I… I’ll manage.” Rose shrugged. “There’s still tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” Jess was staring at her like she’d gone mad.

Rose nodded slowly. “I think this is a little more important right now.”

Jess stared at her for a moment. “Okay. Okay, Fine.”

Jess dipped back into the diner to grab his coat, and then the two of them set off walking. They were both tense, nervous around each other. When Jess put his hand on the small of Rose’s back to push her gently ahead of them as they passed a busy stretch of the street, Rose felt as if she’d been electrocuted, by a simple brush that the day before would have seemed commonplace. They walked in silence, looking everywhere but each other, until they reached the quieter streets that led down to the old bridge.

“Jess…” Rose began, nervously breaking the silence. “I’m really sorry. I’m… I’m sorry about all of it. I didn’t mean it – I didn’t want you to go last night. I – that was the last thing I wanted.”

“Didn’t sound like that last night.” Jess bit back.

“Well its true. I’m sorry. I was stressed out, and worn out, and I didn’t mean to say all those things. I… I always do this, when I get stressed out over work.”

“Yell at your boyfriend?”

“No. Shut people out. The whole time I was at uni – every essay I did this.” She smiled ruefully. “I always get so stressed out that I don’t think I can handle it, and then I just shut down and I focus on the work, and only the work, and I push everyone and everything out until its over.” Rose glanced across at him. “I didn’t mean to push you out. I didn’t – I hated doing it.”

Jess nodded slowly. “So… you didn’t want space from me?”

Rose sighed. “I… No. Not really. I… Sometimes, I’ll admit, I appreciated having a little more time to myself than… usual. But… no. At least that’s not what I was doing – or trying to do.”

“Okay.” Jess frowned and nodded. “You were just stressed?”

“Yes. Of course. I – I just fell back on old coping mechanisms. Honestly, half the time the only thing I wanted was you to hold me until it all went away.”

A brief smile flickered across both of their faces at Rose’s admission.

“Luke –“ Jess cleared his throat. “Luke said you might have been pushing me away because we were too intense.”

Rose looked at him in surprise. “I – no. No. I mean, we have been fairly intense. But… its early days yet right? With time I’m sure that’ll settle out. And… It makes sense that we are. How many other people in this town do we want to spend time with?”

Jess gave her a weak smile. “Okay.” / Jess nodded, a weak smile appearing on his face. “I’ll give you that one.”

They walked on a little further in silence, coming down to the bridge. They both stopped, in the middle of it, and stood, looking down at the water.

“I’m… sorry I yelled at you last night.” Jess said, slowly. “I’m sorry I… assumed you just wanted me gone.”

“That’s –“ Rose started.

“I just…” Jess looked up and away at the distance. “I was worried Cooper. After everything about Liz… I was worried I’d… That you’d realised I was too much for you.”

“No! God, no, Jess. No.”

“Okay.” He looked at her then, met her eyes.

“Okay.” She smiled briefly. “I… I’m sorry I said you were just going to up and leave.”

Jess nodded and looked away again, a rueful smile on his lips. “I don’t have the greatest track record in that department.”

“I… I don’t really believe the things people tell me. You were a lot younger then. I – I don’t expect you to do that again. I just… I can’t help hearing the things, you know, and then… the stuff you said…”

Jess bit his lip. “I… I won’t lie. I thought about going – leaving town, when Liz wanted to come. But not – never – just out of the blue, without telling you.”

“Okay.” Rose smiled at him softly. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

Rose slipped her hand inside his and laced their fingers together. They stayed like that for a moment, hands clasped, blue eyes staring into brown, smiles dancing on their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They both totally overreact in this chapter. But the early days of relationships can be rocky, and if you don't communicate well enough, changes in patterns can easily be blown out of proportion.


	14. Spacey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end gets a lil explicit and I'm sorry

Betty was, rightly, pretty pissed off when Rose finally showed her face at the archives that lunchtime. Rose hadn’t called in sick, nor booked time off, nor provided any advance explanation – not even a family emergency. She’d left the office in a state best described only as a disaster zone, and then, deadline impending, failed to show up until halfway through the day.

Rose was thoroughly exhausted by the time she made it to work, a strong cup of coffee clutched in her hand. The missed sleep had finally caught up with her, compounded by the absolute carousel of emotions she’d been whirled through in the last twenty-four hours. But they were okay. Even as Betty chewed her ear off about responsibilities and working environments and jeopardizing something or other, all Rose could think was that they were okay. They’d miscommunicated, spectacularly, but then they had communicated, and cleared most of it up. They were on the same page again. Jess wasn’t going anywhere.

He’d walked her back to her flat. He was supposed to go back to the diner, she to work. But that morning they moved in a bubble of their own, slightly outside of normal time. So they’d snuck upstairs to cement the makeup in their usual fashion, and fallen asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. By the time they finally tumbled down the stairs and out into the sunshine, they were both terribly, terribly late for work. They’d walked through the town with smiles they couldn’t wipe off their faces and hands they couldn’t keep off each other. Luke had given Jess quite the earful when they reached the diner but had sent Rose off with a coffee and a smile of relief that his nephew’s moping had been put to an end.

Rose had to work late, Wednesday night, to make up some of the time she’d missed (though she argued the rest of it had been worked over the weekend.) Come five o’clock Thursday night, she positively fled the archives, making it to the diner in a new record time of two minutes.

Jess grinned as she came hurtling in through the door. The bags were still heavy under her eyes, exhaustion evident in her sagging shoulders. But there she was, all the same.

“How fast did you run here, Cooper?” He smiled, coming over and slipping his hands around her waist. She draped her arms over his shoulders and almost fell into him.

“As fast as I could.” She smiled.

“Did you get it finished?”

“Yeah! I think so!”

Jess nodded. “When’s the great handover?”

“Three o’clock tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“Which should give me enough time to print it out and tidy up the office so it doesn’t look like the scene of a very violent papery death.”

Jess chuckled and led her by the hand over to her usual table. As they sat, he asked: “Any plans to celebrate after?”

“Well…” Rose paused hesitantly. “Lorelai caught yesterday and invited me to this party she’s throwing for Sookie’s birthday…”

Jess nodded. “A party’s not a bad way to spend a Friday night.”

“I don’t know… I’d kind of figured on doing something with you…”

Jess shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“Its okay?”

“Yeah Cooper.” He leaned over the table and kissed her. “Go. Have fun.”

“But what about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve got you all weekend.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Go! Make some more friends so you can quit bugging me all the time.”

“Gee Jess.” She grinned. “What a way to talk about your girlfriend.”

He kissed her again.

It was the first time Rose had been into Lorelai’s house since the night she and Jess first met. Thankfully, the lawn had looked no worse for its wear. Inside was decked out in ribbons and streamers and flowers as far as the eye could see. Rose immediately feared she was underdressed in her black jeans and the blouse she’d worn to her first date. Lorelai assured her she looked very chic as she pressed a drink into her hand and pushed her into the living room with an order to ‘mingle’.

Lane, the one face Rose would have hoped to see, was absent. Her band was off, touring the country with their music. Sookie was happy to see her, as was Lorelai, but many of the other faces Rose was not so familiar with. Somehow, over the course of the next hour, she wound up tucked into a corner with Michel, one of their co-workers at the inn, giving her the in-depth life story of his puppies. Rose smiled along as pleasantly as she could, but inside she secretly regretted not finding an excuse to stay in with Jess that evening.

Her pocket suddenly began to vibrate against her hipbone, and Rose had to embarrassedly get up in the middle of Michel’s sentence and excuse herself. She slipped through the party to Lorelai’s entrance hall, where the noise was slightly quieter.

“Hello?”

“Go outside.” A familiar voice sounded in her ear.

“What? Jess is that you?”

“Yes it’s me. Go outside.”

“Outside? Why?”

“Just go outside Cooper.”

“Okay…”

She glanced over her shoulder before opening up the door and slipping out onto the front porch.

“To your right.” Jess said in her ear.

Rose turned to look. There, at the end of the string of cars parked along Lorelai’s driveway, was Jess’s beat up vehicle. Its owner was sat on the bonnet, one hand holding his phone to his ear, the other waving at her. Rose ran down the steps and across the lawn to him.

“Jess?! What are you doing here?”

He grinned. “I’ve got a surprise for you Cooper.”

“You do?” She stopped just short of the car.

“Yeah. You had enough of this party yet?”

“Um…”

“Great. Get in.” Jess slid off the bonnet and stood before her.

“What?”

“Come on.”

Rose stood her ground. “Jess- Where are we going?”

“The Black Keys are playing Hartford tonight. They’ve got Cage the Elephant supporting.”

“They do?”

“Yeah. Come on. You owe me remember?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Yeah but-“

“I got us tickets. Come on.” He nodded his head in the direction of the car.

“But what about the party?”

“What about it?”

“Well…I said I’d go…” Rose glanced back over her shoulder at the light spilling out of Lorelai’s windows. The party evidently continued to whirl on, oblivious to her absence.

“And you’ve been. You showed your face. That’ll do won’t it?”

“I…”

“Come on Rose. If you’d been having a great time you wouldn’t have picked up your phone when I called. Now are you coming?”

Rose rolled her eyes and grinned in spite of herself.

“Fine. Let me go grab my coat and say bye to Sookie and Lorelai.”

“Atta girl. I’ll wait here.”

Rose turned and started heading back into the house, with a smile she couldn’t hide.

Rose watched Jess for a couple of minutes, as they drove along the dark streets that led out of Stars Hollow. Music was playing softly on the stereo, electric guitar notes filtering out into the air between them. Jess’s eyes were on the road, thumb tapping on the steering wheel in time to the beat.

“We’re okay, right?” She asked suddenly.

“What?” He glanced across at her and then back at the road. “Yeah, of course we are.”

“Okay.” She bit her lip and looked away out of the window.

“What –“ Jess glanced back at Rose again and narrowed his eyes. “What are you thinking?”

“Oh – nothing. I just… Do you think we need more space?”

“What?”

“Well – after everything on Wednesday, and then you said yesterday I should hang out with other people, but now we’re here, and…” Rose trailed off.

Jess thought for a moment and shrugged. “I don’t know…”

“It’s just – well, in my previous experience, uh, things that were more… spaced, were better. Usually. But also, things were different then – I had more going on, more friends I needed time to see, you know?”

Jess nodded slowly. “Space never did Rory and I much good.”

Rose smiled. “Well I didn’t mean moving to California amounts of space…”

Jess chuckled softly. “Neither did I. I wasn’t great at the whole making plans and calling thing when we were seeing each other. I… got told off for that one.” He turned the car onto the highway.

“How bad is wasn’t great?”

“Not great.”

“Well… you did come after Saint Dean right? He called like what, five times a night? Her standards might have been too high.”

Jess chuckled. “Why are you defending teenage me?”

“Because I like adult you. And someone should have told Rory that calling that often is a serious red flag.”

Jess raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously.” Rose shuddered. “I couldn’t handle someone that clingy. They’re guaranteed to be controlling too.”

“We see each other every night.”

“Yeah but that’s different.”

“How?”

“We’re adults. And I don’t have a life.” They laughed. “Which to be fair, Dean evidently didn’t either.”

“You’re really on the hating-Dean bandwagon tonight, huh?”

“Sorry.” She grinned sheepishly. “Bad habit.”

“You have a habit of trash-talking your partner’s ex’s exes?”

“No.” She chuckled. “I have a habit of bitching about people I don’t know. I’ll stop.”

Jess smiled, his attention focused on the road. They sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes.

“Wait, so where did we get to on the space issue?” Rose started again.

“I’m not going to call you five times a night.”

“Right. I mean, that would be a waste given you’re usually at mine.”

He chuckled, eyes on the road. “I guess… we carry on as we are?”

Rose nodded. “Yeah. If you’re happy with that?”

“I am.”

“And I’m happy with it too. And then we just…” She shrugged. “Don’t sweat it if we want to take a couple of nights off that here and there?”

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

They both smiled, and Rose turned to look out of the window for second, before she snapped her head back to Jess with another thought.

“Oh god, he got married at 18 didn’t he?”

“Who? Dean?”

“Yeah. Yikes. Psycho.”

Jess laughed. “So much for stopping.”

“That’s me done I swear!”

“That was – Incredible!” Jess said loudly, eyes wide and grin wider. “Incredible!”

They were walking back through the empty streets of Hartford to the empty parking lot Jess had left the car in. The world was dark and shadowy, illuminated in spots by warm yellow streetlamps. Their ears were still ringing from the loud music, a static fuzz through which they shouted to each other, the songs still echoing in their heads. Rose felt beautifully, violently alive. Heart swollen, eyes shining, energy coursing through every nerve. Jess was positively bouncing beside her, his arm draped across her shoulders.

Rose grinned. “It really was.”

“The whole set – everything! The way Dan handled that guitar!”

Rose laughed. “I swear you’re in love with that man.”

“I might be.” Jess grinned and planted a sloppy kiss on Rose’s cheek.

“Ew. Promise you’ll get me backstage passes if you leave me for him?”

“Okay, Cooper.” He grinned. “It’s a deal.”

Jess was still enthusing over the finer points of the night’s performance when they made it back to the car. The night around them quiet, smothered in its cloak of darkness. Walking across the white lines that divided up the expanse of tarmac, it felt as if they were moving through a bubble just outside of time that belonged to them and them alone. They laughed and started humming the songs. Jess caught Rose’s hand and spun her, and they danced together, alone under the streetlights and the black night.

They slowed down until they were just gently shuffling round in a circle, like teenagers on a prom night. Jess’s hands sat at Rose’s waist, her arms draped over his shoulders. They smiled, lost in each other’s eyes. For a few blissful moments, they were only happy.

Rose shifted forwards, pressing her lips to Jess’s as her nose brushed his cheek. He kissed her back with his usual eager insistence, hands sliding up her back to press her body closer to his. They positively melted into each other, bodies fitting together in all the now-familiar places, like jigsaw pieces cut to interlock.

Jess’s hands slid down into Rose’s back pockets, following the curve of her body. She couldn’t help but smile against his cheeks. They were like teenagers, bodies hot, hearts racing, heads spinning. All the energy from the concert spilled over into each other, into the hands that slid across each other’s backs, into the hips that ground against each other in search of friction. When Jess shifted to kiss his way down Rose’s neck, she found herself breathless.

Rose could feel Jess’s growing erection, straining against the heavy denim of his jeans and pressing into her. She slid her hand down over it, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from her boyfriend.

“Jeez Cooper.” He whispered.

Rose shot him a wicked smile. “How comfy is that back seat of yours, Mariano?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not the one who decided that in this au 21 year old Jess's music taste would have moved onto The Black Keys, but I cannot say I disagreed.
> 
> He also listens to Cake and The Dandy Warhols.


	15. The Great Wall of China

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning- minor burns ahead.

Just over halfway through the next week, the dishwasher at the diner packed up. After many years of faithfully enduring all kids of abuse, from dried on leftovers to teenage tantrums at Jess’s hands, and even the occasional rough handling by an angry Luke, the machine called it quits. Almost anyone who had any hope of the vaguest knowledge about machines took a look at it, and all pronounced it a hopeless case. Luke spent the last two days of the week in a frightful mood, ranting to anyone who made the mistake of so much as looking in his direction about the appalling tendency for modern items to have built in death sentences to force continued consumerism.

They got by, those two days, on hand washing everything in the small sink in the kitchen. That is, they got by on Jess hand washing everything. Rose had had to break protocol and slip behind the counter and into the kitchen to see her boyfriend, his hands positively chained to the endless pile of dirty dishes. That had earnt another blow up from Luke when he caught them, ten minutes later, kissing against the sink. Rose had turned a truly impressive shade of crimson, not helped by a diner-full of watchful eyes that not only heard the entire lecture but got to watch her walk of shame, Luke’s hand on her shoulder guiding her out.

On Friday night, still mortified, Rose braved the diner again, and hung around until long after the diner closed to see Jess. She was sitting idly at the counter, a novel borrowed from Jess open before her, while Luke made plans to drive out to Hartford the next day in search of a new machine.

“That’ll leave you and Caesar in charge for most of the day.” Luke called through to his nephew, who was finishing the last of the washing up. “Could have done with Lane’s help too, but she’s still touring…”

“Why don’t I help out?” Rose piped up. “I’m not working and I don’t have any other plans.”

“Would you?” Luke asked in surprise. “That would be great – you could man the front, pour the coffees maybe.”

“Oh uh – I’d rather not, actually if that’s okay.” Rose bit her lip. “Is there anything in the back I could do?”

“Why not? You’d make a better waitress than perpetual sour face over here.” Luke nodded in the direction of the kitchen.

“I’ve waitressed before. It wasn’t great. I’m really not very good at it.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’m really useless. I got fired after two weeks.”

“Wow – how did you – huh.” Luke shook his head in disbelief. “Well, if you’re sure, you can do the dishes.”

“What’s that?” Jess strolled out of the kitchen, drying his hands.

“Rose’s gonna help you out tomorrow. Means you get the day off dishes.”

“I do?! Gee, it feels like Christmas.”

Rose rolled her eyes.

Jess turned to his girlfriend. “Why don’t you wanna waitress?”

“Have you seen my spatial awareness?” Rose shot back. “I’m a terrible waitress.”

Jess stayed at Luke’s that night so he could be up early to open. Rose appeared at six, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Jess glared at her as she bounced across the room and slipped behind the counter.

“How are you always so perky in the mornings?”

She grinned cheesily before kissing him. “Good morning to you too.”

The morning passed quickly, aproned up and chained to the sink. Rose snuck out to talk to Jess briefly, during the mid-morning lull, bantering over the latest novel he’d coerced her into reading. But then the stream of people filtering into the diner had begun to slowly increase. With a teasing kiss and a strong hand on the small of her back, he’d pushed her back into the kitchen. The dishes had slowly but surely amassed as the lunchtime rush got into full swing, starting to pile up faster than Rose could clean them. Caesar was rushed off his feet, making orders and delivering plates to the tables. By the raucous din outside and the precarious stack of plates by her elbow, Rose estimated that every last man, woman, and child in Stars Hollow had chosen that Saturday to stop in for lunch.

“Hey!” Caesar called to Rose as he dished up another four plates of food. “Can you watch this for me while I run these out? Just keep stirring it so it doesn’t stick.” He leant the spoon against the rim of the pan and picked up two of the plates.

Rose dried her hands and moved across to the stove. Her stomach had been growling earlier, but the scent of the heavy meatball sauce made her feel nauseous. Hopefully she’d get a break soon – and hopefully Luke would have something more akin to salad stashed away somewhere.

She balanced the spoon on the edge of the pan for a moment, while she flipped over a couple of burgers Caesar had left frying. He reappeared for a moment, and grabbed the remaining two plates. “Keep stirring the sauce!” He called, whizzing back out.

As she turned back to the meatballs, Rose accidentally caught the handle of the spoon, sending it clattering down into a tight gap between the pans. She immediately sent her hand down in search of it, curving her arm around the edge of the pan.

“A-ah!” Rose hissed. She whipped her arm back up to see a shiny square about an inch wide where her inner wrist had caught the side of the pan. “Fuck. Fuck it.” Rose whispered as she slipped her hand back down the same gap, this time successfully clasping the spoon handle and retrieving it. She stirred the sauce with her left hand, holding her right up to the light and blowing on it gently as it began to sting.

“Thank you.” Caesar said, hurrying back into the kitchen with another armful of dirty plates which he added to her pile. Rose quickly dropped her injured arm and hid it beside her.

“No problem.” She smiled, moving back across to the sink. Caesar loaded up another round of plates and whisked them out of the kitchen.

“Rose?” Jess popped his head around the corner. “Its quieting down out there now if you want to take a br-“

“Ssssshit!” Rose couldn’t help the hiss that escaped her lips as the hot water in the basin hit the burn, sending pain shooting up her arm. She whipped it back out of the water and held it out in front of her.

“What the fuck did you do, Cooper?!” Jess strode across the small kitchen and caught her wrist in his hand.

“I just caught it on the pan – its nothing.” She said. “I’m fine.”

Jess pulled her arm across and held it under the cold tap. “It doesn’t look fine.”

“Well it is.” Rose tried to tug her wrist back, but he held it firm. “Hey! I’ve got dishes to do.”

“Not like this, you don’t.”

“Don’t you have customers to harass?” Rose shot back. Jess rolled his eyes. By this point he was well acquainted with both hangry Rose and stubborn Rose, the combination in fighting form today.

“Rose.” He said firmly. “You are not putting that arm back in the hot water.”

Jess gently pulled her wrist out from under the stream of cold water and took a closer look at it. The delicate skin had flushed pink around the whole area.

“Jeez, Cooper,” He winced. “Doesn’t that hurt?”

“Maybe.” She sighed. “Maybe it stings a little. But it’s not that bad.”

“Well I’m still not letting you do any more dishes.” Jess turned her round with a hand on her hip, and undid the strings of her apron, slipping it off her and hanging it up on a hook behind them. “You’re on break now. Go find something to eat. We can figure out the dish situation after.”

“Fine.” Rose huffed, turning back to him. “Okay if I eat upstairs? I’d like to give my parents a quick call.”

“Sure.” Jess pushed her out of the kitchen. “Go.”

Half an hour later, the diner at last quiet and under Caesar’s control, Jess slipped up the back stairs to fetch his girlfriend. He could hear her talking quietly on the other side of the frosted glass. He turned the handle slowly, opening the door as quietly as possible.

Rose was stood by the window, pacing back and forth. She glared almost absent-mindedly at her feet, brow wrinkled with a frown.

“I know… I know… Yeah.” Rose glanced up at Jess’s intrusion and shot him a weak smile. A half eaten box of salad sat open on the kitchen table. “Its – Well, I’m sorry, but you knew… What?! Of course I’m coming!”

Jess watched her for a moment. “Time’s up,” he whispered.

“Thanks.” She whispered back. “Look – I’m sorry, I’ve got to go now… No, I really do have to. I’ll talk to you soon, I promise. Bye.”

Jess raised an eyebrow as she hung up, shoving her phone deep into the pocket of her jeans and sighing heavily. “All okay in Planet Cooper?” He asked.

“Yeah – yeah.” Rose shook herself. “They were busy. Dad just got a promotion.”

“Congrats Dad.” Jess slung his arm around her shoulders as she walked over to him. “You want the rest of that?” He nodded to her half-eaten lunch.

“No, its okay. I’m not really hungry.” Rose was still looking at her shoes.

“You okay?” Jess asked, looking at her in concern.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine.” Rose smiled at him. “So, what was the resolution on the dish situation?”

“You’re gonna have to show us how bad those waitressing skills are.” Jess smirked, following Rose back down the stairs.

Rose shook her head and laughed.

“Come on Cooper. You’ve gotta tell me what was so bad about your waitressing career.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “So, I did it for wedding receptions, ones with big fancy sit-down dinners right? Well, two weeks in, I thought finally starting to get the hang of it, and then we had the wedding from hell. Literally. Bridezilla.”

Jess laughed.

“And – so this bride got angry about something – I can’t remember, ordered the wrong food or the drinks were being too slow or something. I mean, she got _angry_. The bar staff were threatening to leave, she was hurling so much abuse at them.”

“Wow.” Jess raised an eyebrow. They paused behind the counter together.

“Yeah. So, she took to pacing back and forth in front of the kitchen doors asking to see a manager, while we were trying to serve. And well… I came hurtling out with a couple of plates of this violently purple beetroot soup and… I didn’t see her coming.”

“No!”

“Yes. Totally wrecked the dress. God, there was hysterics. I ruined her big day – hell I couldn’t get the stains out of my uniform and that was dark grey! I was, naturally, fired on the spot.”

Jess laughed and shook his head. “So, we won’t let you carry any soups, got it.”

“Or other liquids. And to be honest, you’ve seen my spatial awareness in action – solid food might be a questionable idea too.”

“Right.” Jess threw a cloth at her. “You’re on clearing up then. And as for the dishes… we’ll just have to manage without them…”

Rose deposited the last set of plates on the ever more precarious pile by the sink and stepped back out into the quiet diner. Jess was leaning against the counter, fiddling with a screwdriver and one of the toasters.

“Hey – I think we really need to do some of those dishes before that mountain falls and takes someone out.”

“I’ll do them in a minute.” Jess replied absently.

“Or I could just do them now?”

“No.”

“But my wrist barely hurts now. Come on. I’ll be fine.”

“No. I’ll do them as soon as I’m done with this.”

“But –“

“No.”

Rose pouted and moved to stand beside her boyfriend, watching him tinker with the mechanism.

“What are you even doing to it?” She asked.

“Fixing it.” Jess replied. “Luke bust the spring again somehow.”

“And you know how to fix a toaster spring?”

“Yeah. I did it when I stayed here before.”

“Huh.”

“What?” Jess glanced up at her as she watched him. “What’s that face for?”

“Oh – nothing. I just think it’s really cool – that you know how to fix a toaster.”

“Okay Cooper, keep it in your pants.”

“What?! So, I like a guy with practical skills, sue me.”

Jess smirked. “All I have to do to get you in bed is fix a toaster? What about dripping taps? Does repainting your walls work too?”

Rose pulled a face and shoved him gently. “Fuck off.”

“How about cleaning the gutters? Building Ikea furniture?”

Rose stuck her tongue out at him and moved off the counter, heading back towards the kitchen. “You’re impossible Mariano.”

“Hey!” He called after her. “No dishes, remember!”

Luke was understandably displeased to find his volunteer with bright pink burn on her arm upon his return. The displeasure was, naturally, increased upon discovering the leaning tower of Pisa recreated in dirty plates inside his kitchen.

“What did you do to her?!” He asked Jess accusingly.

“Hey it wasn’t me!”

“I caught it on a pan when I was stirring something for Caesar – its not a big deal, really.”

“Right. Okay. And the dishes?” He turned to Jess again.

“I think they’re breeding.”

“You – you think they’re breeding?”

“Yeah. I swear every time I go in there there’s more of them.”

“Then why didn’t you think to wash them?!”

“Hey! You said I could have the day off dishes! Besides – Miss Cooper over here is a terrible waitress. It’s a full-time job supervising her.”

“Hey! I didn’t spill anything!”

“No, but you gave the wrong orders to three tables.”

Rose stuck her tongue out at him. “I did warn you.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Well, whenever you two are done, Jess you can wash those plates, and Rose, you can take the rest of the afternoon off. I got a new dishwasher in my truck, and I’ll get it set up tonight – as soon I can get past the great wall of china in there to do so.”

Late that evening, they stayed up, cuddled up on Luke’s old cracked leather couch, listening to the tv whisper quietly and the faint clinking that drifted up from Luke working in the kitchen.

“What was up with that call earlier?” Jess asked softly, out of the blue. “You seemed pretty freaked when I came up.”

Rose shrugged against him. “Nothing.”

“Come on Cooper.” He nudged her. “Communicate.”

She stayed silent, eyes on the soft glow of the tv screen.

“You homesick again?”

Rose shrugged again. “Not so much. It’s getting better.” She looked up at him and smiled softly. “Sorry. I’m tired – that early morning really caught me up.”

Jess kissed the top of her head. “Okay Aurora. You wanna head home?”

“Mm.” She snuggled further into his side. “We could just sleep here.”

“Not sure Luke would appreciate that one. Come on Cooper.” Jess stood up and caught hold of Rose’s hands.

“No… Jess…” She protested weakly as he pulled her to her feet.

“I’ll drive you home, okay?”


	16. By The Light Of The Stars

“So, Liz gets in this week.”

Rose and Jess were walking to the diner on a bright Monday morning. Jess’s arm was slung around her waist, lying over her denim jacket and sundress, holding her to him. The day was gearing up to be another hot one, and Rose was almost glad of the excuse to hide away at work in the shady archives.

“Oh. Okay.” Rose looked across at him, studying his face. “Are you okay with it?”

Jess shrugged and pulled a face that said loud and clear that he wasn’t completely. “I'll manage. They’re only here for the week – then they have to go out to the next fayre.”

Rose nodded. “Okay. Anything you need me to do, just say. I can start coming up with excuses to get you out of things now.” She smiled.

“Okay Cooper.” He smiled. “I might take you up on that.”

When Rose came into the diner the next evening, an unfamiliar blonde woman stood behind the counter, helping herself to a slice of the peach pie. She resembled Luke a little around the eyes, and Rose guessed that she might be the infamous Liz.

Rose slid herself into her usual corner table and pulled out a novel to hide behind. Jess had mentioned that Liz wanted to meet her, but they hadn’t discussed it any further, or made any plans. And that was a meeting she was pretty sure Jess would want to at least be there for.

Jess emerged from the kitchen a minute later, plates of food in hand. He sighed softly when he saw the familiar red head in the corner, nose buried in his copy of Bukowski. Best get this over and done with…

Rose looked up to see the possible-Liz being directed towards her corner by Jess, his hand on her shoulder. She plastered on what she hoped was a pleasant smile and tried to smother the nerves churning in her stomach.

“Liz, Rose. Rose, Liz.” Jess said briefly.

Liz’s smile widened and she extended her hand and shook Rose’s. “So, you’re the girl who lured Jess to Stars Hollow for the summer.” Her voice was gravellier than Rose had expected.

Rose blushed. “Rumour has it.”

“I’m really impressed. Its not just anyone who can make this kid stick around in a small town.”

Rose nodded. How was she supposed to navigate this one exactly? Jess was just standing there, just short of fully scowling. She made eye contact with him, and he put a hand on Liz’s arm as if to move her on.

“Luke wants you upstairs.” He said.

Liz raised an eyebrow. “Seems I’m needed elsewhere. Well it was lovely to meet you Rose. You two should come over for dinner tomorrow – if you’re free. Then you can meet TJ too! He’s a wonderful guy.” The look on Jess’s face suggested otherwise.

“I…” Rose looked to her boyfriend.

“We’re free.” Jess replied tersely.

“Great! Great! I’ll tell TJ! We’ll get some food in!”

Jess pushed his mother in the direction of the backstairs. “It was lovely meeting you Rose!”

Rose sent her a smile. “You too!”

When Jess reappeared, Rose met him with a raised eyebrow. “I appreciated the heads up.”

“Sorry.” He pulled a face and sat down with her. “Figured it was best over and done with.”

She nodded. “And dinner tomorrow?”

“A necessary evil? You can bail if you want.”

Rose shook her head gently. “And leave you to it on your own?”

Jess nodded briefly and stood back up. “Then dinner tomorrow it is.”

Rose finished brushing out her long straight hair and put the comb down, smoothing over her summer dress with her hands.

“Is this okay?” She asked, making eye contact in the mirror with the reflection of Jess who was pacing about her flat.

“Yeah. You can still beg off you know?”

Rose raised her eyebrow. “Sounds like you’re the one who wants to.”

Jess moved to stand behind her. “Maybe…”

“It’ll be okay.” Rose said as he slid his arms around her waist. She laid her hands over his, lacing their fingers together. “Its just dinner and then we can go.”

Jess nodded, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

Liz and TJ’s house stood on a quiet cul-de-sac on the other side of Stars Hollow. It looked remarkably normal from the outside, just like any of the other clapboard houses that littered the town. Inside however, Liz had evidently stamped her personality. The living room was a bright cacophony of yellow, yellow walls, yellow sofas. A lot of yellow sofas. Macrame curtains hung over the doors with a 70s hippie vibe, that almost but not quite went with the Renaissance fayre tapestries hung on the walls.

TJ wasn’t remotely what Rose had expected. A loud, short man, with a definite New York accent, Rose could barely – and didn’t want to – imagine him in the tights of a Renaissance fayre costume. He wasn’t the brightest man on the planet, but it was obvious how much he was in love with Liz.

“Jess said you were vegetarian – we’re having steak, I couldn’t prize TJ away from his meat, but I made you a cauliflower.” Liz said, leading Jess and Rose into the kitchen.

“Yes, that’s wonderful, thank you.” Rose smiled. Jess kept his arm around her waist as they stood on the threshold of the room while Liz fixed them drinks. They were both glad of the physical contact, silently reassuring each other.

“So yes – we were out on our usual circuit this summer when Luke called about Jess being in town. We do the Renaissance fayres every summer. I make earrings and we sell them on this stall TJ made me.” Liz handed them their glasses and ushered them back into the living room. “We do the whole dressing up thing, TJ in tights, I’m in a corset. We love it.”

“That’s so cool.” Rose said, taking a seat next to her boyfriend on one of the sofas. “I love Renaissance fayres.”

“You do?” Liz asked, grinning.

“Yeah. I actually did it for a summer when I was a teenager. The whole camping and dressing up and making things.”

Jess choked on his drink beside her.

“You did?!” He asked.

“Yeah.” She laughed shyly. “It kinda went with the whole history student thing.”

“I might have to break up with you later...” Jess muttered weakly.

Rose laughed and patted his knee. “Okay, you do that.”

Liz laughed too. “I'm glad you get his sense of humour. I always worried he'd scare girls off with that sharp tongue.”

“Oh, no. I... think he’s very funny.” Rose smiled nervously at Jess, who was still scowling at them both.

A little while later, Liz left them alone for a minute to refill their drinks and check up on TJ’s cooking.

“You think she’s cool.” Jess whispered accusatorily at Rose.

“Yeah... for all of about the first five minutes.” She shot back.

“And now?”

“Now I’m trying to figure out exactly how the two of you are related.”

Jess snorted. “Let me know if you get anywhere with it. I’ve been trying to figure that out that one for twenty-one years...”

In the end they survived the evening, though it was with a sigh of relief that they stepped out into the cool air of the summer night to walk home. Liz had been nice, friendly, though Rose could well see that she wouldn’t have made a steady mother.

“Did you seriously do the Renaissance Fayre thing?” Jess turned to Rose as they walked, hand in hand through the quiet streets.

“Did you seriously read a book in a strip club?” She shot back.

“Yes. And that is way less embarrassing.”

“...Yeah.” She replied, wincing. “I’ll admit it was not my coolest moment.”

Jess shook his head. “You know I’m never gonna let you live that down.”

“Oh, I’d expect nothing less.” She smiled.

Two nights later found Jess pacing Rose’s kitchen floor again. He’d been to see Liz earlier, before she and TJ left town the next day. When he came back, Rose could see the tension taught across his shoulders, the lip he was biting absent-mindedly. There was a quiet fire that burned behind eyes that didn’t see what lay before them. He was thinking, thinking hard as he paced the short length of her apartment floor, stuck on one inescapable loop of thought, round and round, unable to break from it to find a conclusion.

It’s a feeling Rose knew. A sense of frustration, of immobility. A desire to do something reckless, spur of the moment, with just enough daring in it to make your breath catch and your heart race and the adrenaline hit your brain hard enough to make you feel alive. Somewhere on the fine line between destructive and creative.

Rose sat on the end of her bed, cross legged, and watched him with a concerned frown wrinkling her forehead. The clock on her desktop silently changed as the hour passed. 12am. Midnight.

He snapped out of it with a sudden stop and a short shake of his head. “I've got to... go. Do something.” He said vaguely, as if unsure of how to use his own tongue.

“Go where?” Rose asked gently.

“I don't know. I don’t know. Somewhere! Anywhere!” Jess snapped.

“Okay. Okay. What do you want to do?” She kept her tone calm but firm, though she could see him itching to bolt out the door.

“Honestly Rose?! Something destructive. Drink til I’m sick. Smoke til my lungs burn. Whatever. Just... something to cut through this.” He gestured to his head with a hand that moved as if swirling through a storm.

He still hadn’t told her what was wrong, what had happened. But Rose knew that would come later, if it was still important. Jess wasn’t one to talk through things. He expressed himself through action, impulsive explosive action, and Rose had learned it was best to manage the fire before asking what had lit it.

“Okay Mariano. Let’s go.” She jumped up off the bed and shoved her feet into the closest pair of shoes. In one hand she grabbed her keys, and the other she pushed Jess out the door.

“Where are we going?” He asked tersely.

“You'll see.”

They paused as she locked the door at the street entrance behind them. Jess had his hands shoved deep into his pockets, his body language screaming the same discomfort that had made him seem so isolated at the party they first met.

“Ready?”

“What?”

Rose shot him a grin as she took off sprinting down the empty street. “Keep up Jess!”

“Where the fuck are we going?” He asked, easily catching her up.

“You'll see.” She shot back in between laboured breaths. God, she had to do this more often, but the air burning in her lungs felt good.

At least he was sticking with her, she thought. The first time he'd been like this, he had bolted immediately, shut her out until the feeling part was over. This was a serious improvement in communication. In an effort to break his age-old habits of screwing things up, he'd offered her the room to make the decision for him. He'd not said it in so many words – but she knew her openings when they came. She had done the same with her friends, age 19 and inexplicably frustrated with the world. You told them how you felt and let them drag you off to something spontaneous in the hope it fixed things. Rose felt in a way honoured with a heavy responsibility, handed the keys to his out of control train and asked to direct it to the crash point of least total harm.

She led them down to the old bridge, their favourite spot in town. It was dark, lying beyond the reach of the last streetlamps, but once their eyes had adjusted to the starlight they could see the low bridge over smooth black waters.

They stopped in the centre of the bridge and caught their breath. “Tell me you are not just taking me out for a run.” Jess said.

Rose grinned. “Oh no. No way.”

She knelt down and unlaced her shoes, kicking them off and leaving them beside her. Then she caught the hem of her top and pulled it off over her head, revealing her bra and an expanse of pale skin silvery in the moonlight.

“What the fuck are you doing Cooper?!”

“Shut up and strip.” She shot back.

Jess couldn’t help the half second of a smile that snuck onto his face. She was absolutely mad.

“You know they have public decency laws in this country?”

She laughed. “Who is going to be out here at this time to see us?”

“Now what?” He snapped, hugging his arms around his chest.

“Baby. It’s not that cold.” Rose teased.

“I’m not cold just uncomfortable.” He bit back.

“Well don’t worry, that’s only about to get worse. Boxers off.”

“What?”

“Off.” She said, unhooking her bra.

“Rose what the fuck are we doing?”

“Off!”

He grumbled but complied.

“Okay, ready?” She grinned at him. Jess didn’t like the excited glint in her eyes. Where was the anxious overthinker he usually dated?

Before he could finish the thought she came running at him and crashed into him, tipping them both off balance so they fell, in a tangle of limbs, into the cold water of the river with a mighty splash. Jess’s heart tightened in panic in the chaos, before he found his feet and stood upright with his head out of the water. The water flowed around his waist and the first thing he heard was Rose’s laughter as she stood up next to him.

“What the fuck!” He spluttered, catching his breath before her infectious laughter got him too.

She flicked her hand across the water, splashing him. “Come on Mariano.” She laughed. “Live a little.”

“Alright.” He shot back, leaping towards her and catching her around the waist, pulling her back under the water.

She wriggled and splashed until she got away from him and stood up to catch her breath, before she splashed water at him again. He splashed back at her and they increased until they had to stop to laugh.

“You’re completely crazy, you know that?” He said in amazement.

Rose grinned back at him. “Nothing like a cold swim to get you out of your head.”

Lying down on the worn wood of the bridge afterwards, they both stared up at the star strewn night sky.

“Feeling better?” Rose asked softly.

“A little.” Jess whispered.

“I don’t need to push you in again?” Rose teased him quietly.

“No!” He said vehemently. They chuckled quietly.

“What made you think of skinny dipping?” Jess asked, turning his head to look at her.

Rose smiled wistfully. “My friend and I did it once back in Edinburgh. We were 19, all caught up in our heads and frustrated about things – ex-boyfriends, life, academics. I can’t remember exactly. We were out drinking in one of the pubs and then we just, got up, and caught the last bus that was heading down to the seaside part of town. It’s good cause it’s just dumb enough to feel reckless, you know, and there’s nothing like cold water for snapping you out of your head.”

Jess looked back up at the stars, and there was a moment of silence between them

“Thank you.” He said, softly.

Rose smiled and laced her fingers through his. “I'm always here for you Jess.”

He just squeezed her hand tighter for a moment.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked hesitantly.

“Nah, its okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah – yeah. It was just… Liz being Liz. We’re okay. I just needed to blow off a bit of steam.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

They lay there for a moment, staring at each other with soft smiles.

“So, when do I get to meet your parents?” Jess asked, gently teasing.

“Ah.” Rose sighed and turned her head back to look up at the stars. “I don’t know.”

“They aren’t coming out to see their star historian in action?”

“I… No. They’re pretty busy at the moment, with John’s wedding and Dad’s promotion. I’m a long way away.”

“All’s not happy in paradise?” He asked, a note of concern lying under the teasing tone.

Rose shrugged. “It is what it is.”

“I thought you guys were good.”

“We are. But… no family is perfect. I don’t know – I mean we still talk often, its fine. Maybe it’s a little less often than when I started out here… but that’s okay. I have to settle in here and I wouldn’t want to be someone who spent her whole life calling home, you know?”

“I’m surprised. I thought they’d be rushing out to see you.”

“Me? No.”

Jess raised an eyebrow.

“I… They were ambitious. I wasn’t. Small town America wasn’t exactly their plan for me.”

“Huh.”

“Besides, their hands are full with John and his cushy job in London and his perfect engagement to the perfect Susie, and their soon-to-be perfect wedding.” She couldn’t keep the bitter tone out of her voice. “And, you know, then there’s me, with a useless degree that I pursued into a useless career – not something good, like journalism, no, no, glorified filing indeed. And the icing on the cake, I chose to do it across the ocean, and not in a place of importance, like New York, or LA, or even Boston, no – Stars Hollow, a nowhere town for a nowhere career.”

“Jeez Cooper.” Jess said softly, looking at her in alarm. “Why didn’t you say?”

“You know us Brits and our stiff upper lips…” She shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. Not really. I – its not… It doesn’t come up often. I just caught them at a busy moment last time I called and got an earful.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She looked at him again and smiled softly. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Going off at you like that.”

“It’s okay Cooper. I’m here for you too.”

There was a pause in the conversation, filled by the soft sounds of the water flowing beneath them.

“So they wouldn’t approve of me, huh?” Jess asked.

“What?”

“I'm a high school drop out with an ex addict mom. If everyone is perfects in your family, they’ll just love me.”

Rose looked at him a moment. “You’re a high school drop out with an ex addict mum.” She repeated softly. “I'm a disappointment who’s riddled with anxiety and spent so many years being bullied I don't believe there is ever going to be a place I truly belong... But I'm also – what was it you said? I'm a star historian,” small smile. “I'm good with a needle and thread, and a camera. You might be a highschool drop out Jess, but you’re also a published author. You’re a really talented writer, and you’re part of an independent publishing company supporting the dreams of so many young creatives.” She paused, still looking at him softly. “We don’t let the bad define us.”

Rose tilted her head up to look at the stars again. “Who cares if my parents don’t approve of you? I’m sure they’ll think you’re the absolute antichrist, here to derail all my plans with fickle notions of romance. But,” She turned her head back to him, locking eyes intensely. “They think I’m daft, a waster of good opportunities and a good education. That hasn’t stopped me pursuing my path, and whatever they think about you won’t stop me either. You know how stubborn I am.” Jess chuckled. “I only do the things I want to do. And you, I want to do.”

Jess smiled at her. “I want to do you too Cooper.” He whispered.

“Well that’s good, you know, since we've been doing each other for a couple of months now.”

“Two months and six days.”

“Two months and six days... You've been counting?”

Jess grinned and rolled his eyes.

“You’ve been counting.” Rose looked at him with amazement and absolute adoration. “Jess, I-" the words were on the tip of her tongue.

“Yeah Cooper?” He whispered, brown eyes melting into hers.

She held them back. She wanted, badly, to tell him. But even then, staring into each other with eyes that screamed it all, she wasn’t sure she should. Jess would be the type to run, she thought. Run from the seriousness, run from the commitment, run from those three stupid little words, the spell broken, the moment shattered. She was just a fling, right? Just a fling, even if he was counting the days. So she held her tongue, and held his hand tighter, and just looked at him and looked at him.

“Nothing.”


	17. The Great American Roadtrip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess has no luck with girls and cars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: they crash the car. There's only minor injuries but Rose does faint.

They were sitting at the table in Rose’s kitchen, dinner plates empty in front of them. An old Joy Division record was playing softly in the background. The last echoes of laughter at yet another joke were just dying on their lips, eyes still creased at the corners and shining. 

  
Jess was breathing easier since Liz had left town a couple of days before. The tension across his shoulders had almost slipped away. 

  
But a new one had slipped into Rose’s. Almost without them noticing, July had bled into August. Neither of them had brought it up – neither had dared to. But the end of the month was creeping ever closer to them, the deadline of Jess’s departure starting to loom like a black cloud on the horizon. 

  
It was okay, Rose kept telling herself. It was okay. They’d known it was just for the summer. They’d known this would happen. It was inevitable, it was coming, and she just had to be okay with it. Like the end of Eternal Sunshine. She just had to enjoy it while it lasted, and try to ignore the way her heart broke every time she caught sight of a calendar. Try to ignore the way a single quiet moment in the flat was starting to feel suffocating. Try to hide the sad eyes she couldn’t help but watch him with, in the quiet moments when she thought he wasn’t looking.

  
He’d caught them of course. And sent his fair share back, at four am when he couldn’t sleep and she curled into him instinctively. His eyes traced the outline of her cheekbone, the curve of her back, the red hair pooled on the pillow dark in the half light. The way her warmth breath tickled his chest.   
But in moments like these, laughing ‘til their stomachs ached, they’d forget, just for a moment, that it was going to happen. That there had ever been and would ever be a time when it wasn’t like this, wasn’t just them together, the world caught in the golden hour of their joy.

“Let’s go away.” Jess said suddenly.

  
“What?!” Rose could feel the laughter still bubbling in her chest.

  
“Let’s get out of here – out of Stars Hollow, and go somewhere, just us.”

  
“Go somewhere? Go where?”

  
“Anywhere. Let’s just go.”

  
“Jess… what?” She grinned as her head tried to keep up with his sudden change in conversation direction.

  
“This town is too small. Come on Rose. Don’t tell me you don’t want a break too.”

  
“I mean… yes, but – how? When? Where?”

  
“Now. Right now. Shove some things in a bag and let’s get in my car and go.”

  
“Go where?”

  
“I don’t know – North East. We’ve done New York. We could head the other way, up to Boston.”

  
“Boston?”

  
“Yeah. Let’s go to Boston.”

  
Rose laughed. “Okay. Let’s go to Boston. When are we going to Boston?”

  
“Now. Tonight.”

  
“Tonight?! Jess I’ve got work in the morning.”

  
“Fine. Tomorrow night. We can go as soon as you get out of work. Boston that night, and then maybe on to Maine.” Jess’s eyes were alight with plans.

  
“How long are we going for?”

  
“I don’t know, however long we want?”

  
“We can only do the weekend Jess. I don’t qualify for holiday time yet. Monday at nine, I have to be back in those archives.” Rose chided gently.

  
“Okay. Okay. So we go for the weekend.”

  
“Okay. And where are we staying?”

  
“Motels. The back seat of the car. I don’t know, we’ll figure it out.”

  
Rose laughed. “Alright Mariano. Let’s do it.”

  
“Let’s do it?”

  
“Let’s do it.”

They grinned.

Friday night found them cruising along the highway, windows down to the warm winds of the summer evening, the sky shot with pink above them. The Black Keys were blaring from the speakers – Rose had lost the first battle over music choice – and they were singing along, Jess tapping in time on the steering wheel. The heady thrill of freedom ran through them, like teenagers skipping town, eyes bright and hearts full, only the open road and no responsibilities ahead of them.

  
They spent the night in a cheap hotel in Boston, wandering the city streets at night with the lights sparkling above them. It was like New York all over again, big city buildings towering over them, bright eyes caught only on the present. This time, however, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. 

  
They stopped off in Salem the next morning, Rose citing a family lineage of Welsh witches through one of her grandmothers. While they were there, they stopped in a gas station to fill up the car and grab snacks for the next leg of the journey.

  
As they walked back over to Jess’s car, he looked at Rose with a sudden spark in his eyes that she just knew meant he’d had an impulsive idea.

  
"What?" She asked.

  
"You wanna learn to drive?" Jess grinned.

  
"You what?"

  
"Go on. Its automatic, it's not that hard. Just sit in the drivers seat. Go, go, go." He ushered her around to the other side of the car.

  
"This feels wrong..."

  
"Just get in!"

  
“Jess, I’m really not sure…”

  
“You’ll be fine! I’m right here. We’re on small roads anyway – I’ll take over before we get anywhere. I promise.”

  
Rose grinned. “Okay. Okay.”

  
After a deep shaky breath (or ten), and a thorough explanation, she was behind the wheel, checking the mirrors, and pulling the car out onto the road. Her eyes were glued to the road, arms tense as they gripped the steering wheel. But it was a tiny, quiet road, and it was all going okay. She had done driver’s ed back home as a teenager. She hadn’t driven in years, and never automatic, on that side of the road, but the muscle memory remained. She wasn’t terrible once she relaxed into it, with a little nervous laughter. 

  
“See? You’re fine. You’re great.” Jess grinned, leaning back in the passenger seat. “I could just leave you to it – take a nap.”

  
“Don’t you dare.” Rose shot back, panic evident in her voice.

  
Jess laughed. “Calm down Cooper, I’m not going to.”

  
All of a sudden there was a deer on the road in front of her. She hadn’t even seen it coming, hadn’t seen it move, it was just suddenly standing there like a statue, staring at her.

  
The wheel turned instinctively in her white-knuckle grip as her foot groped blindly for the brake. The world around them blurred for a moment. Rose couldn’t breathe through the panic gripping her chest. Suddenly the car was facing a tree – where did the road go?! With a sickening crunch of metal the bonnet crumpled before their eyes as they jolted to a stop.

  
Rose drew in a single shaky breath before a great creak came from the tree above them, and a large branch crashed down on top of the car, shattering the windscreen.

Jess was shouting in the seat next to her.

  
"Are you okay?! Rose! Rose! Are you okay?!"

  
"Yeah – I – are you? Wait, Jess, are you okay?" She struggled to force breaths through her lungs. Her chest had tightened like a vice, around her, heart thumping in her ears.

  
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Are you okay?” His voice sounded strangled, terrified. She couldn’t see him, her vision obscured by the dented roof, the stray twigs and leaves, the airbag blown up in front of her.

  
"Jess!”

  
“I’m okay. I’m okay. Are you okay?”

  
“Am I okay?” Rose still couldn’t breathe right. Everything was whirling a mile a minute except her brain, which moved as if through treacle. Her heart was racing, racing, racing. She needed it to stop, slow down. She couldn’t think.

  
"Its okay, it's okay.” Jess’s voice came across. “I'm calling 911."

  
"Jess?” She choked out.

  
"Its okay, it's okay, breathe, you're talking to me, you're okay - hello, hi I need an ambulance or the police, I - we just crashed our car."

  
A branch had come down on top of them. The windscreen had broken. The bonnet was crushed. She took it in slowly, item by item, breath by breath, trying to fight through the panic and the adrenaline and the growing pain. Jess was okay. Jess was okay. There was a branch between them. Her neck was stiff when she tried to turn to look at him. Breathe. Breathe. Jess was okay. There was glass everywhere. 

  
There was the noise of Jess forcing his door open. Sirens blaring up the road. Sirens stopping loud. A jumble of voices. The door beside her, wrenched open. Faces she didn’t recognise.

  
Jess watched as the paramedics pulled Rose’s door open, spoke to her in low, calm voices. Someone had draped a blanket around his shoulders, was checking his arm where he’d raised it to shield himself from the broken glass. The police were talking, taking photographs, redirecting traffic. 

  
He watched as they coaxed Rose around, helped her stand up, step out of the wreck that was formerly his car. She looked pale, knuckles bleeding where the glass had hit, chest heaving with shallow breaths. She stumbled, then dropped suddenly. 

  
Rose found herself on the ground, looking up as the faces of the paramedics swam into view. Her legs were being held up before her, though they were slowly lowered to the ground a moment later. She felt queasy, and cold, and confused.

  
They slowly helped her up and led her over to the open back of the ambulance. Jess was sitting there, swathed in a blanket. His face was as white as a sheet, and he stared at her with wide, terrified eyes. 

They were whisked away to the nearest hospital and had a hundred check ups and scans run. They were both terribly lucky, escaping with minor scrapes and bruises. Jess’s car was totalled, a complete write off. 

  
When Rose finally emerged into the waiting room, discharge forms in hand, knuckles bandaged, Jess was already there. Their bags had been rescued from the car before it was towed and lay beside him. He was sitting with his head in his hands, staring at the floor between his feet. A white bandage wound its way up his forearm.

  
Rose walked over to him slowly, and gently sat down in the empty seat beside him. They sat there for a few minutes, his eyes on the floor, her’s on the forms. Neither of the moved, nor made a sound.

  
“I… I called Luke.” Jess said eventually, voice thick.

  
Rose nodded slowly.

  
“He’s coming to pick us up.”

  
Rose nodded again. “Okay.” She whispered.

  
Jess suddenly stood up beside her. His eyes continued to avoid her. “I’m going to smoke.” He said, speeding out through the doors.

  
The head rush of the cigarette made him feel steadier for a moment. He exhaled the smoke slowly, watching it dissipate into the air. He couldn’t stop seeing it, the bonnet scrunching up before his eyes. Rose’s face, bloodless, as she collapsed in front of him. Again and again and again. He’d rubbed at his eyes, hard enough to see stars. ‘They’d think you’re the antichrist’. She’d said it as a joke. He knew she’d said it as a joke. But he couldn’t stop thinking it, round and round and round. He’d put her behind that wheel. He should have listened when she said no. He shouldn’t have made her drive.

Luke found him there, second cigarette singeing his fingertips. His uncle placed a steady hand on his shoulder. Jess exhaled slowly.

  
“I made sure she was okay.”

They found Rose exactly where Jess had left her, the unfilled forms balanced on her knees. She looked up at Luke as they walked over, her eyes filling with unspilt tears. 

  
“I – I don’t have an emergency contact.” She choked out, as the water spilled out and slid down her cheeks. 

  
Jess looked at her then, looked at her as she crumbled. He couldn’t stop himself, muscle memory taking over, sitting down beside her and pulling her into his chest. Luke silently took the forms from her lap and filled them in.

News of the crash ran round the town before they’d even got back. Hushed comments scurried across the diner as Rose sat there on Sunday afternoon, a cup of too-sweet coffee in front of her. A few people had tried commenting, but her steady glares had sent them away again. The only person who dared approach was her boyfriend, but even he came with the weakest of smiles. Rose and Jess sat beside each other silently, for the first time since they’d first started talking unsure of what to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unnecessary angst? In my fic? Its more likely than you think.


	18. Fullstop

A month swiftly became three weeks, then three weeks became two. The crash seemed to knock something out of them. Slowly but surely, they began to see less of each other, distance growing between them. At first it was like the weeks Rose had lost to the deadline again, a string of cancelled plans, missed diner dates, empty beds. But this time Jess cancelled on her too. And this time neither of them said a word about it.

Jess started getting a lot of calls from the publishing house in Philly, agreeing on plans, sending across work and advice, starting to integrate him more fully into the running of the place. Rose just nodded and gave him a brief smile, every time he got up to take yet another call in the middle of something. He told her a little of what it was about – book deals, poets, magazine issues. But the little bit slowly got less and less.

The Gleasons came into the archives to see Rose, and discuss the possibility of a family history like Taylor Doose’s. They took away a pricing and an outline of the possible finished product to decide. Rose didn’t tell Jess. Another possible project – but he’d likely be gone before they signed on.

She buried her head in her work. Refiled every file she could lay her hands on. Conducted her own research, into narrow, pointless avenues of town history. Kept her head filled with figures and facts and who did what when. Counted the days until Lane and her band were due to return to town. Rose missed talking to her about music, missed introducing Lane to the small British bands of her teenage years and being shown all their American counterparts.

With things going off between her and Jess, Rose was forced to face the fact that after three months living in Stars Hollow, she’d barely settled in. She spoke to Luke, and Lorelai, and Lane. And that was it. The small-town world was a close knit one, a community bonded on the back of its quirks. Rose still felt as if she stood somehow just outside it all, marked out by her accent, cut off by her shyness. Perhaps Jess had been a bad idea… Holing up with the town troublemaker wasn’t exactly the path of smoothest integration into a new place. But she didn’t blame him – not for a second. The fault was her own for not trying harder, it always was. And when she woke up to the early morning sunshine with his arm tight around her waist, she couldn’t think that he’d been anything but a good idea. He’d made her world brighter, sunnier, single-handedly quelled the ache of homesickness. She didn’t like the thought of the nine more months she was contracted to be in Stars Hollow for. But having Jess there had made it feel, even just a little bit, like a home.

Suddenly things changed, in the middle of that week. Jess had been helping Luke carry supplies into the cupboard, arms full of a hefty bag of flour, and Rose had cracked another Footloose joke. And all of a sudden they fell back into their old patterns, bantering back and forth sharply, lopsided grins of amusement shared across the counter top. A hundred things were left unsaid as they chased around an endless string of sarcastic comments and sharp jokes over the course of the next two days. Round and round the diner their tongues ran, eyes flashing excitement and amusement, as if they were flirting from the top all over again. Only this time it was shot through with a hell-bent streak of daring, a lack of care, a lets-push-this-boat-as-far-as-we-can-because-we-know-its-not-coming-back-anyway. They chased themselves, fires burning, into bed. And there, six pm in a tangle of bare limbs, the banter died out.

Jess gently brushed a strand of hair away from Rose’s face and ran his thumb down the side of her cheek. His deep brown eyes stared into her’s, grey in the light of the room. They lay there together, cocooned in a soft silence, just looking at each other. Just looking and looking and looking. The only thing that existed in the entire world in that minute was the two of them, and the inches between their noses where warm breaths mingled. Rose watched him, lying there looking at her, and tried to stamp every detail in perfect clarity on her memory.

“Your eyes are shining, Cooper.” Jess whispered softly, his thumb still resting along her jawline.

She smiled softly, her heart aching deep inside her chest. “Like at four am in New York.” She whispered back.

“And the time we watched the movie.”

“And when I read Persuasion in the diner.”

“And when I kissed you in the parking lot after the concert.”

Rose smiled softly, then shifted forward and pressed a soft kiss to Jess’s lips, closing her eyes to hide the tears that were welling.

They lay there as long as they could, but the inevitable and rather loud growl of Rose’s empty stomach eventually forced them up, Jess laughing as he pushed her off the bed. In retaliation she stole his t-shirt, pulling it on over her head as she wandered into the kitchen in search of something to eat.

Something gave deep inside Jess, half an hour later, as he sat at her kitchen table, empty boxes of leftovers before him. Rose had stood up to do the dishes but been side-tracked by her record player. She slipped on the Dookie record she’d bought in New York, that they’d played a hundred times since. Jess watched as her head nodded in time to the drumbeat. She flicked her long red hair back over her shoulder and turned to him with a grin, standing there before him, wearing just his t shirt, like she had a hundred times before.

“I can’t do this.” He said, suddenly.

Rose stopped moving and stared at him in confusion. “You can’t do what?”

“This. Us.” Jess stood up.

“What?”

“Come on, Cooper. What’s happening here? What are we doing? What are we going to do?”

“With what Jess? I don’t understand…”

“With us!”

“With us? You’re leaving Jess.” She tensed. “What do you want me to do about it? There are some plans we can’t change. You’re going to Philadelphia. I’m not going to stand in the way of that – I don’t want to stand in the way of that. Not for a second.”

“So that’s just it? Over?”

“I… I don’t know. I guess so?”

“You guess so?!”

“Jesus Jess. I don’t know. I assumed – I assumed that yeah, that was it, over. I’m just a fling remember, _like you said_. It was always going to end at the end of the summer.”

“You assumed? It was just always going to?!”

“Yeah! Hey – I thought you were on the same page. Don’t pull this now – don’t tell me you haven’t been pushing me away since the crash.”

“I…” Jess paused for a second. “I should never have let you get behind the wheel.”

“And I never should have gotten behind the wheel!”

“It’s _my_ fault Rose. We could have been killed – you could have been killed – because of a dumb idea _I_ had.”

“What?! Jess! I was the one behind the wheel. I did the crashing. I chose to take you up on your dumb idea and get behind the wheel. Accidents happen. We both made mistakes!”

They stared at each other for a moment, eyes searching across the room. The record spun on, a dissonant sound of heavy drums and guitars clashing into the silence between them. Rose whirled around and switched it off, suddenly plunging them into an eery quiet.

“So, this is just it?” Jess started again. “I leave in two weeks and we’re just over?”

Rose turned back to him with a heavy sigh. “Yes. Yes, Jess. You go. You go, and you are gone, and I stay here and I carry on.”

“And we weren’t – we weren’t gonna even talk about this before I left?” He spat.

“What – what do you want me to tell you Jess? What do we need to say? I’m sorry I assumed. Im’ sorry I shut you out. I’m sorry I’ve been bracing myself for the day you leave. Because you are – you are leaving. You are going to Philadelphia. I am not ever going to get in the way of that – I don’t want, for a single second to get in the way of your life taking off. So, I’m sorry if I’ve been trying to let myself down easy – but we _knew_ this was coming. We have known all summer that one day you would leave. We were on borrowed fucking time. I knew that. I knew it from day one that this was going to come to an end.”

Jess stared at her for a moment.

“What?! What do you want me to say Jess?! I’m just another fucking fling.” Tears began to slide down her cheeks. Rose angrily dragged the back of her hand across her face to wipe them away.

“No – No.” Jess was thinking fast. “No. This doesn’t have to be it. It doesn’t have to end now.”

“Oh.” Rose chuckled thickly. “Right. You’re gonna what, call me up drunk in a month’s time and ask me to fly over and come live with you?”

“What?!” Jess looked at her in confusion.

“Tom already tried that one. Doesn’t work.”

“When did he?!” Rose could see the anger flaring up behind Jess’s eyes.

“When he called – that time I cried in Luke’s apartment.”

Jess clenched his jaw, the muscle flexing.

“I don’t know what you’re looking for here Jess.” She said, anger dropping away to a tone of exhaustion. “You’re leaving, and I’m staying, and we can’t change that.”

“There’s gotta be… There’s gotta be something we can do!”

“What, Jess? What?”

“I’m in love with you! I – I love you! I’ve been in love with you since you spewed on Lorelai’s lawn and tried to talk your way out of it.”

“ _What?!”_

“I love you, Rose! Come on. Come on this is it!”

Rose sat down heavily and stared at him in shock. “You love me?! You _love_ me?! Well that’s just fucking _swell_ Jess. I love you too! Hell, I’m in love with you too. You wanna put a fucking time stamp on it? I’ve been in love with you since that night in New York when you looked like crap and all I wanted to do was hug you but I didn’t know how. But that’s the fucking problem – that’s what makes this all so much harder Jess. I do love you.” The tears fell in torrents down her cheeks, dripping from her chin onto Jess’s t shirt.

“You do? Yes. Okay. Okay. We're in love. So here it is, like you always said. It’s the missing puzzle piece. It’s the most important thing. We can – Come with me.”

“What?”

“Come with me. Come on! You said you were just waiting to be in love, it would be the sign. Here it is. Come with me to Philadelphia. We can be together – live together.”

“ _No_!” Her voice sounded like death, choked by tears and rasping with heartbreak. “No, you do not get to say that. You do not get to use that on me. That was _my_ dream Jess. But it was just a dream! It was just a silly little kids dream! It doesn’t work. I know it doesn’t work.”

“Who says it doesn’t work! Who said it can’t work? We have to try! Come on Cooper. Let’s get out of this crazy town – let’s really be together. Come with me.”

“No. No – no, no, no. Jess – I can’t.”

“Yes, you can! You can! Come on!”

“No! I can’t! I can’t – I’m tied into a lease, the contract – I can’t just up and leave.”

“Yes you can! – you can get out of those. Come on.”

“No – no. Jess – Jess, there’s so much to think about. I have – I have responsibilities here, I have this job, I’m supposed to be here until next spring at least. I can’t just go.”

“Yes, you can! You can do anything you want to. Come on. Come with me! Come with me Rose, you know you want to.”

“I – I don’t know...” Rose sank her head into her hands. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you _do_. You do. You want to come. So come on, let’s do it! Let’s go!”

“I… I can’t – Jesus Jess.” Her head shot up. “Have you even thought about this? Really thought about it? Where are we going to live? What am I going to do?”

“We can live at Truncheon, with the guys.”

“Have you asked them about it? Are they okay with you just moving a girlfriend in there too?”

“I will – they’ll be fine.”

“And what am I going to do in Philadelphia, huh? I have a job here Jess. I do not have a job in Philly.”

“You’ll find one. There’ll be plenty of jobs in the city. Come on, you know you don’t want to be stuck here in the dusty town archives for the rest time. You can get a job you’ll really love – in one of the big museums.”

“How do you know how I feel about my job? We haven’t spoken about this in _weeks_ , Jess. I’ve got a new project coming up!”

“For who? The Dooses again?”

“The Gleasons.”

Jess snorted. “You can leave them high and dry. Come on, Rose. Come on. You know you want to. You know you do.”

“I can’t.”

“You can! Come on.”

“I can’t!”

“Yes, you can. Look - just say you do. Just tell me you want to be with me. _Please_.” The pleading in Jess’s voice broke something inside her.

Rose sighed heavily. “I… I don’t know, Jess.”

“Just say it! Say it!”

“Jess stop! Stop. I can’t think right now. _I don’t know_ , okay? I don’t know.”

Jess sat down across the table from her. “…Okay. Okay.”

“I…” Rose shook her head and stood up. “I’ve got to – I need to think.”

Jess watched as she fumbled about the room, as if in a dream, pulling on a pair of jeans and her shoes. “Where are you going, Cooper?” He asked softly.

“Out. Out. I don’t know – for a walk. I need to clear my head. I need to think.”

“Okay.” Jess nodded slowly. “Do you want me to come too?”

“No! No.” Rose moved to the door, pulling on her boots. Her hand paused as it reached for her coat, and she turned back to look at him for a moment. “Were you serious, Jess? About me coming with you to Philadelphia?”

“Yes. Completely. I want you to come. I mean it.”

She nodded briefly. “Okay.”

The door slammed shut behind her.

Rose walked for hours. The sun slowly set behind her, the sky cast in pinks. Eventually the town grew dark and the streetlamps flickered on. She walked, and she walked, and turned it all over again and again and again in her mind. Eventually her feet found their way down to the Old Bridge, and she found herself stopping, looking down at the smooth waters. Her head finally cleared, ran itself out of thoughts, leaving her only with a gut feeling.

Her flat was dark when she got back. Jess had left.

Rose flicked the lights on, illuminating her small apartment. The chairs were still scattered at odd angles, the dishes strewn across the table. It was as if it had been left, like a stage set, a shrine to the fight hours earlier. Rose’s phone lay, where she’d left it, forgotten in her flight, in the middle of the table.

She picked it up, fingers hovering over the keys to punch in Jess’s number. The screen lit up as it awoke. _One new voicemail._

Rose pressed play and lifted it to her ear.

“Hey, Cooper. I – uh – the guys called from Philly and I had to head back to Luke’s to find the manuscript they’d sent me.” There was a pause as Jess took a deep breath. “I spoke to them, about you maybe coming. They’re open to… talking about it. It’s definitely a possibility. Just – just so you know. I was really serious about it – as a heart attack.” She could hear him smile at his own joke. “I really meant it Cooper. I want you to come with me. I want to be with you. I want to make this work.” He paused again. “I love you, Cooper. I… I loved you that night in New York, when you stood beside me at that window and wouldn’t shut up. And I loved you every minute after… Call me back, if… if you want this.”

The dial tone was ringing in her ear a second later.

“Hello?” Came Jess’s voice, somehow distant over the phone line.

Rose was in tears immediately.

“Fuck it.” Her voice cracked. “Fuck it. I’m coming to Philly with you. I don’t care – screw my job, and my flat, and this crazy, fucking town. You’re the only thing I want Jess. The only thing I want. I want to be with you. I’m coming.”

There was a smile in his voice. “I’m coming over.”


	19. Epilogue: 10 Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roughly AYITL

The diner looked exactly the same as it always had done. Lorelai and Luke were finally getting married, and everyone had come back to town for it. Luke had insisted on Jess being his best man.

Jess was living in London. Truncheon had gone from strength to strength during their time in Philly, eventually growing large enough to consider expanding. The perfect place had been found in Bloomsbury, with a shop front to sell their publications. Jess, an anglophile since his Clash days, had gone out to head it up.

But now he was back, stateside, sitting at the counter of his uncle’s diner. It was quieter than he’d ever known it, everyone hunkered down over laptops and mobiles. Quieter, that was, until Rory Gilmore came bouncing in.

“Jess!”

“Hey.” He smiled.

“How long has it been, four years?”

“Yeah, about that.”

Rory pulled Jess into a hug.

“Its good to see you.”

“You too.”

The ring on his finger glinted in the light, catching her eye.

“You got married!” She squealed.

“Yeah.” Jess shrugged, a warm smile on his face.

“And you didn’t invite me?!” She admonished, hitting his arm playfully.

Luke piped up, passing them with a coffee jug in hand. “They didn’t invite anyone.”

“You eloped?! How romantic! Tell me it wasn’t an Elvis Impersonator in Vegas...”

Jess laughed.

“Good lord, no. Though he did try to push that idea quite hard.” Rose’s voice came from behind her as she emerged from the back stairs. “Hi Rory.”

“Rose! It’s so good to see you.” Rory pulled her into a hug.

“You too.” She smiled. “That’s her sleeping now Jess, hopefully we'll get a half hours peace before she wakes.”

Jess raised his eyebrow. “Hopefully...”

“She?” Rory asked, looking between them.

“Our daughter Hazel.” Rose said, coming to stand by her husband and resting her arm on his shoulder.

“You two had a kid?!”

“Lorelai really didn’t tell you? I’m surprised. I thought Jess becoming a dad would have been headline town news.”

“Jess, a dad...” Rory shook her head in amazement.

Luke chuckled from behind the counter. “I couldn’t believe it either. Who'd’ve thought of our James Dean with a wife and kid?” The pride in his voice was evident as he looked at his nephew.

Jess squirmed slightly, almost blushing. “These things happen...”

They were interrupted by a faint wail from upstairs. Rose sighed in exhaustion and Jess rolled his eyes.

“Your turn.” She said, pushing him up off the seat. Jess got up heavily and disappeared through the door frame, his boots thudding on the stairs.

“So, tell me all.” Rory said as she and Rose sat down at the counter. “I want all the gory details.”

“Well... It was Jess who proposed.”

“No way!”

“Yeah. Took me by surprise too.”

“Where? When?”

“Well we were up in Edinburgh for a visit to see some old friends of mine, and we'd gone for a walk just the two of us up Arthur’s Seat, classic Scottish day, grey, windy, cold. And he just... popped the question.”

“Down on one knee?”

“Jess?! No way. He didn’t even have a ring. Just turned to me out of the blue and went ‘Marry me’.”

“Wow.”

“I know! I hadn’t even thought we'd get married. It didn’t seem like his style, you know?”

“Yeah. But you did!”

“Yeah. We eloped about a month later. Just a city hall thing, on a visit back to Philly for some Truncheon business. Just popped out, tied the knot one afternoon, went out for dinner afterward, then drinks with the guys.”

“Cool. Lowkey.”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “We didn’t really want anyone making a fuss. It was pretty spontaneous too, but you know us. The only big decision we didn’t make on the spot was the London move, and that’s pretty much because Chris and Matthew planned it for us.”

“So, you’re Mrs Mariano now?”

“Oh – no way. I kept my own name.”

“Was Jess cool with it?”

“Are you kidding? He wouldn’t know what to call me if it wasn’t Cooper.”

“And the honeymoon?”

Rose laughed. “We finally pulled off our grand road trip of the states. Drove out from Philly, visited some of my college friends in Wyoming, eventually wound up on the West Coast.”

“Very Kerouac – but I'd expect nothing less from Jess.” They laughed. “And then... your daughter?”

“Hazel. Yeah. Well... We'd been married about... six months when we found out I was pregnant.”

“A surprise?”

“Yeah. There we were, enjoying the newlywed life. She definitely caught us off guard – Jess wasn’t quite ready. But somewhere down the line of heading up the London branch by himself, Mr Mariano got remarkably responsible.” Rose smiled. “We wouldn’t have it any other way now.”

Jess’s boots came thudding down the stairs behind them. He appeared in the doorway, a wriggling yellow onesie cradled in his arms. She had a head of golden curls and one small fist clutching at a zip on Jess’s leather jacket.

“I think she’s hungry.” He said, attention totally absorbed by the child squirming in his arms. Rose nodded and slipped off the stool, disappearing upstairs.

“How old is she?” Rory asked, moving to stand beside Jess. Hazel turned to look at her with wide chocolate brown eyes that exactly matched her father’s.

“Eight months.” Jess replied, shifting her in his arms. “Isn’t that right, Hazy-Daisy?” He said in a soft voice. “You’re a big girl now.”

Rose reappeared behind them, a jar of baby food and a spoon in her hand. “She’s a total daddy’s girl. Got him wrapped around your little finger, don’t you?”

Hazel burbled happily, looking between her mother and father.


End file.
